Text/Dahui
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Love and marriage are two different things, love only needs two people to be in love, love each other, you can come together, just need to enjoy the sweetness of two people together.
But when it comes to the stage of talking about marriage, it is another matter, we need to be vigilant, not just be carried away by the immediate fun, we need to be extra cautious.
There are some people who are only suitable for love and not suitable for marriage at all. It's okay to make a little fuss together, but when it comes to marriage, you'll find the drawbacks of each other.
To see whether a man is worth marrying, not only to see how his character is, how his family is, whether he is good or not, marriage should be a comprehensive measure of this person, love or not, although important, but by no means the only element.
When I was young, I read "Half Life", sad for the tragic love story between Shi Jun and Man Zhen, and would also go deep into the book, hating the evil deeds of Man Lu and Zhu Hongcai, thinking that they had destroyed the love of the two people, and would be resentful that they could not be together in order to fall in love.
However, when I re-read the book now, I found that in fact, the end of the two of them was already doomed. Even without Man Lu and Zhu Hongcai, the two of them could not come together, even if they were really together, they could not be happy, and the reason had a lot to do with Shi Jun.
The weakness in Shi Jun's personality directly determines the direction of the relationship between the two, and gradually understands that it is absolutely impossible to marry Shen Shijun.
Overly careful, lack of basic trust in Man Zhen
The reason why Man Zhen and Shi Jun have come to the final point is inseparable from Shi Jun's sensitive and suspicious thinking and distrust of Man Zhen.
Although Shi Jun's family is rich, his original family is not happy, and his father marries his aunt, leaving only Shi Jun and his mother to live together.
The mother's marriage is unhappy, her life is very sad, and the misfortune is completely transmitted to the son, under the influence of the mother's pessimistic character, resulting in Shi Jun's personality is also very sensitive and suspicious.
Such a personality is infinitely magnified until Yu Jin appears, Yu Jin is only a kind of pity for Man Zhen, plus she is very similar to Man Lu, it is also a kind of emotional sustenance, Man Zhen is simply treated like an older brother to Yu Jin, without any half of the love between men and women.
Shi Jun did not understand Man Zhen's mind at all, unilaterally spread by that vinegar intention, and never took the initiative to chat with Man Zhen, allowing that distrust to ferment.
It was not until later that the two people had a big fight, Man Lu and Zhu Hong did evil deeds against Man Zhen, and after the two completely lost contact, they heard from the bystanders that Yu Jin was married, and they assumed that they must be married to Man Zhen.
Two people together, trust must be the cornerstone, lack of trust as the foundation, such love is crumbling. Once there is a opposite sex around, there will be contradictions and frictions, which is a kind of harm to love in the long run.
Love will make people become careful and jealous, but you must give the other party absolute trust, a person who can't even give you trust, choose carefully.
Cowardly character, no responsibility
Shi Jun is cowardly, as can be seen from his handling of family affairs.
He did not like to do business, and because of this, he fell out with his father, and went to Shanghai alone to work hard, and confronted his father with practical actions.
However, in the end, when there was a little change in the family, he easily chose to compromise, chose to quit his job in Shanghai, and took over his father's property.
Nominally, it is said that he wants to give Man Zhen a better life, but in fact, it is also a manifestation of lack of responsibility, unwilling to rely on his own efforts, and chooses the safest way.
In the face of the problem of parents and Man Zhen, it also reflects the irresponsible side. Shi Jun invites Man Zhen to the house, and her father recognizes that she looks very similar to Man Lu and has a bad impression of Man Zhen.
At this time, Shi Jun's method was to deny it, did not directly acknowledge his relationship with Man Zhen, nor did he express a tough attitude, but instead responded in a vague way, saying that it was estimated that his father guessed casually, and said that he had been to Man Zhen's house, which was completely a rule family.
When the parents have prejudice against their girlfriends, the performance of the man is crucial at this time, but it is clear that Shi Jun is not qualified, and this meeting directly indicates that the two of them will not have a good result, even without Man Lu's mixing, I am afraid that the parents will not accept Man Zhen.
A man who is not responsible must not marry, because after marriage you will have many problems with age, and the cowardice of men will make you difficult to deal with family relations.
Do not know how to weigh contradictions, only know how to escape when things happen
When Shi Jun made the decision to resign, he did not consult with Man Zhen, he was in Nanjing, she was in Shanghai, and the two people relied on letters to contact.
He was afraid that Man Zhen would be disappointed in him, and at this time, he actually began to be afraid of receiving a letter from Man Zhen, and a sentence expressed Shi Jun's evasive psychology.
In dealing with his parents' bad impression of Manlu, his first reaction was also to escape. He directly denied that Man Zhen had a sister and wanted Man Zhen and Man Lu to completely break off their relationship.
When Man Zhen said that this kind of thing could not be hidden, as long as he went to the hall to inquire, he knew that the plan taken by Shi Jun was to let Man Zhen move.
He never thought of solving his parents' misunderstanding of Man Zhen by himself, but instead used an evasive way to face it.
Man Zhen had already seen his evasive psychology before he said, "People sometimes have to show some courage."
Some things can not be hidden, a responsible man, he will be the first time to face it, to solve the problem himself, rather than only know how to escape.
With such a personality as Shi Jun, even if Man Zhen marries in the past, in the face of the difficulties of his widow and mother, I am afraid that it is Man Zhen who suffers losses.
Marriage is a matter of two families, marrying the man, is bound to face friction and contradictions with his family, marry a man who only knows how to escape, you will be very tired in it, and in the end the married life will be miserable.
Marriage is too important for women, choose the right person to be happy for the rest of your life, choose the wrong person, life is a mess. Marrying or not marrying people has a vital role in a woman's life, so you must polish your eyes and choose people.
Love follows the principle of happiness, be happy with each other, do not have to worry about life, do not have to be responsible for each other, sweet and comfortable together, marriage needs to consider more factors, just happy is not enough, but also this person has enough responsibility to take on the rest of your life.
People who meet Shijun in life must not marry, although he is very good to you, but he is not responsible, there is no way to help you deal with the trouble after marriage, you will be very tired.
Re-reading "Half Life" has different ideas for many relationships, and at each stage, it will bring us different inspirations. Hopefully, you'll find some different answers in the book.