01 Children refuse to go to school, parents run away
Now that the Internet is developed, parents often see parents complaining about the fact that children who go to secondary school are unwilling to go to school or are unwilling to read. Most parents are very anxious, and all aspects of resources seek help, hoping to help their children successfully complete the middle school entrance examination or college entrance examination.
However, I saw the approach of a pair of parents, which was really eye-opening.
The child is in junior high school and refuses to go to school. All kinds of bitter persuasion by parents are useless. The child is either playing or sleeping at home.
The child's father proposed that the couple travel twice, leaving the child to reflect at home. Say it's to let go of yourself, to let go of the child. The couple came on a walk-and-go trip. Plan to go out for a week.
On the way out, the mom made a post online that I saw.
I recommend not leaving your child alone at home, in case of an accident it will be trouble. Avoidance is not the solution to the problem, we should be calm and find out why the child refuses to go to school. The right medicine is the right medicine.
However, the mother replied that the child is very independent and there will be no surprises.
This mother really has a big heart. I have seen many examples, adolescent children have an accident, parents feel incredible, think that children look strong, very independent, very optimistic, how can they leave without a word?
02 Similar emergencies
I also wrote an article before, which is a real event that happened around me. A junior high school student zui lou. Everyone took a video to find parents in the owner group for an hour.
The ambulance came early, but the parents could not be found. In the end, the property was found by knocking on the door from house to door.
Then the mother of the junior high school student said that her child was very well-behaved and could not do such a thing, so she did not stay, just said to go out to buy stationery.
I went out at seven o'clock in the evening, and at eight o'clock there was an accident on the roof of the next building. The mother debunked the rumors in the owner group, insisting that it was not zi sha, but a certain sha. Also let everyone provide clues.
Please, there are a lot of community cameras. If there is a wrongdoing, there will also be an investigation. But the wind and waves were calm, as if this child had never been into this world.
03 Is it appropriate for parents to run away?
Do you think the behavior of the parents in the front is appropriate?
Although parents and children are separated in physical distance, there is no quarrel for the time being. But this hurts the child more than staying and arguing.
First of all, the child will think that the parents ignore him and do not want him. He refused to go to school, probably thinking that the teacher had ignored him. When people around him don't want him, it will make him feel that the value of his life is very low, there is not much point in living, and no one cares about his life or death.
When a child thinks that way, it's dangerous.
You think, when you're going to leave somewhere, are you going to say goodbye, are you going to say goodbye to those people?
Surely it's someone you think is worth it, right? Why do you think this is worth saying goodbye to, he must care about you, or care about you, you also care about his feelings, will go goodbye.
Those who treat you like air, will you go and say goodbye?
Or someone who cares about you, but you resent him, and you're likely to quit. Because maybe that's one way you'll finally express your displeasure with him.
Some parents will not think about these issues from the perspective of their children. I always feel that I have broken my heart for the child, how can the child not appreciate it, how can it be so thin, go away, and greet it without a sound?
Even if the whole world gives up on themselves and is disappointed in themselves, as long as parents do not give up on themselves, parents let their children see hope, and children will not go to the end of the road.
It really hurts this junior high school student. When he was home alone for school, his parents were traveling outside. How would he feel inside?
If it were me, I would definitely think that my parents didn't want me. Since my parents gave me life, and they hated me and abandoned me, I will give them back my life, and I will never owe each other.
04 Whose youth is not confused
I also experienced depression in middle school. Good thing I have an enlightened grandpa. He supported me in reading. He told me that it didn't matter if my parents didn't understand me now, and that they might understand later. If you don't understand it in the future, it doesn't matter, as long as you think it's right, do it.
I almost dropped out of high school and spent every day in school trembling, but I was alone. I didn't dare tell my parents because they wouldn't solve any problems for me, so they had to put the responsibility on me and put pressure on me.
Every time I go back, I am warned that I can't fall in love, otherwise I will be humiliated, and I will not be able to go to college and don't want to repeat it. Saying that girls are not suitable for high school. When my parents strongly opposed me applying for a key high school, I had a big fight with my parents for the first time and lost sleep all night. Thanks to my grandfather for supporting me. My father was a great filial piety, so he had to listen to my grandfather.
When I was in middle school, I had all kinds of things that other people pestered me. I was hiding in the east of the school, and I was chased on the street, which scared me to the point of getting wet. Go to the class teacher yourself, find the teaching director to transfer classes. Every night after self-study on the road, I was terrified, not knowing when I would be stopped by whom.
Until the last semester of the third year of high school, I met a good tablemate. I asked him if he could send me to study the next night. He didn't ask anything and agreed. It was sent to me to finish the college entrance examination.
Thanks to a few good friends in high school, I also loved music and survived when I was too depressed to go to school.
When I was in high school, I had schizophrenia around me and tiao lou.
My motivation to survive was to live up to the opportunity my grandfather had won for me to enter the key high school. I didn't want my parents to punch me in the face and prove that they were right.
In the end I didn't fail my grandfather. My parents also realized that they were short-sighted.
05 Self-righteous parents
Many parents are very self-righteous, always on top, never from the child's point of view.
They always say in front of their children, I have sacrificed so much for you, and you are so angry or so disobedient.
Obviously, their behavior gives the child a lot of pressure and affects the child's learning. They just don't admit it, and they say they don't put pressure on their children.
He rarely affirms his children with all his heart, always compares the children of the neighbors and demeans his own children to nothing.
My parents always compared me with a female classmate with very good grades. She said that her family was so poor and her studies were so good.
Thankfully, I'm self-aware. I told them that IQ was innate, and I was born less intelligent than her, no way. She is the material for the entrance examination of a famous school, and I will take the general undergraduate examination. Giving my parents a preventive injection early and lowering their expectations is actually to reduce the pressure on myself.
I felt that I was really strong inside, otherwise I really couldn't survive at that time. Three years of high school is a torment. I kept so many secrets myself, I was almost schizophrenic.
06 Written to parents of adolescent children
If your child is in middle school, be sure to treat your child as a friend, respect his opinion, and understand his true thoughts. Let the child believe that the problem will help him solve the problem with the parents, rather than adding to the chaos. Let him feel that the world is worth it, and many beautiful things are waiting for him.
Children who really have no learning talent, don't compare, let nature take its course. Just like when my parents forced me to enter a prestigious school, I was expected to abolish it.
Don't discourage your child's hobbies. Life in middle school was too boring. I was in high school and sneaked off to take vocal lessons with art students. Later, I was complained to my parents by the class teacher that I would terminate my business without doing business, and it wasn't long before I became depressed.
It is also because I love music that when I can't calm down to study or sleep, I play positive music over and over again. At that time, I liked to listen to Jay Chou's "Tornado" on the radio, and the bright rhythm was very exciting. It has nothing to do with love, it is purely to like that melody.
I wish everyone a harmonious parent-child relationship and a healthy and happy growth of children!