I wish I could understand this early on when I'm not married

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Seven Dreams of the | Picture | Seven Dreams

Chen Guo once said: "It is not life that gets better, but yourself."

I hugged each other for three years, and looking back at the years of marriage, especially the three years of having children, I had a new perspective on love and marriage and parenting.

About Love:

Before getting married, I feel that I have enough to drink, whether I have money or not, it doesn't matter if I look good or not, what matters is that I love each other.

After getting married, I understood that the poor couple was sad, and the days without money were too difficult, especially after giving birth to children.

Before getting married, I felt that if I loved someone, I would have to give everything for him, and I would have to work hard and complain. After marriage, I feel that it is important for the two to respect each other equally, whether it is work or housework, to share with each other.

Before marriage, I feel that loving a person should not consider too many external factors, and after marriage, I feel that love should learn to weigh the pros and cons, and choose to have a good impact on yourself and your entire life later.

Like Buffett said: Learn to be a shrewd woman, don't just know kindness and gentleness.

After marriage, we must take the initiative to fight for more initiative and discourse for ourselves, give ourselves more opportunities to choose, and do what we want to do, and never give up.

Even if you really like a person, don't fall in love with your brain and treat love as everything in your life.

I remember seeing an answer on Zhihu where the author said that she was bumping her husband and his ex-wife's CP because their love was really too beautiful and sweet, which made the author very jealous.

In today's society, her ex-wife actually uses a pen every day to record every bit of their relationship, every page is sweet, and every sentence is an outpouring of love.

She gave up the opportunity of a national TOP5 school for her boyfriend, followed her boyfriend to an unpopular university, and was betrayed.

Later, I fell in love with the author's husband, and the two were very suitable and very sweet in the three views and many aspects of life.

They didn't have children after marriage, but they were also trying, but in the process of pregnancy, she asked her husband a question: "If you don't have children, would you still like to be with me?" ”

Men say you are as important as children, and she asks the bottom line, is it impossible to have no children, is it more important than their feelings for so many years?

Men say maybe.

Therefore, she threatened to divorce by suicide, leaving no room for divorce.

She is a very pure and pure person, the love in her eyes can not be mixed with a little external thing, as long as she is sure that the man in front of her does not love her so much, then she will resolutely leave.

It's just a pity that she died not long after the divorce.

Therefore, the author's husband said that he would never be able to remarry his ex-wife again, and he would also do a good job as a husband.

It is her husband's ex-wife who is such a most holy person, and her departure has taught the author's husband how to love people, how to be a truly responsible husband, and she has gained such a good husband.

I admire such a girl, her world is so pure, many people simply can't reach her level. She had a supreme faith in her heart, and she felt that it was men who had desecrated her love, so she left.

She can't say that it is a simple love brain, she is just excellent in other aspects, looks very light on money and status, only wants a real love, but in the end she does not get it, she knows what life she wants, and she is very assertive about every decision she makes.

But I still think that girls who are not married, don't take love too seriously, you can believe in love and marriage, you can also try when you meet, but remember to love yourself.

About marriage.

Two people are in love, but the door is not important. After getting married, I found that the difference between the original families of the two was too big, and there were really many contradictions.

Before marriage, I feel that love is to stick together every day, and after marriage, I feel that two people are facing each other every day, minute by minute, and it is really not good to have no private space.

Before marriage, I felt that the other party must love me for a lifetime, and after marriage, I felt that I would love well when I was together, and I also allowed him to fall in love with others in the future, his feelings changed, and I was willing to fulfill it.

Before getting married, I felt that I must marry my favorite, but now I feel that a woman's happiness is not dependent on others, but on herself, and self-growth is the most important.

Only I myself have the ability to be happy, and whoever I am with, I am able to create happiness.

Before marriage, I felt that love was greater than the sky, and after marriage, I felt that love and marriage were only a very small part of life, and there was nothing comparable to the growth of the self.

About parenting:

When parents are not enough to eat and wear warm, today's children are no longer us, they have passed the era of only paying attention to food and clothing.

They need enough respect from their parents, who learn to protect their children's curiosity about the world.

Don't use our values to demand that they have to do what we think.

Respecting the child's ideas, this is really especially important.

Parenting is also a process of self-rearing.

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