Text | Rice grain mother
What would happen if you had a daughter who grew up holding it in the palm of her hand, made a boyfriend from a poor family after going to college, and lived a life of tight clothing and food with each other, and was reluctant to eat even mouthful meat?
The "couple love bill" video that has been hotly discussed in the past few days talks about such a thing. Migrain's mother was so angry that she couldn't sleep after reading it, and wrote this article overnight.
The two people in the video are college students, and the boy said that he released this video to record the "money-saving version of love" between himself and his girlfriend, and the two spent a total of 1510 yuan a month to "eat, drink and have fun".
The boy said smugly in the video, "As long as you communicate well with the person you like, falling in love not only does not cost money, but also saves money." ”
But on the surface to save money, in fact, every expense is the boy's "careful calculation", the abacus sound, rice grain mother can hear clearly through the network cable.
The pitfalls of "good girl" education
How is 1510 yuan spent?
In order to save money, girls only eat one egg for breakfast, and drink a box of "free" milk brought from home if they can't eat enough; Lunch and dinner are eaten together, and up to a maximum of free noodles are added to the same bowl.
After falling in love, girls also gave up the requirements for snacks and fruits, visiting supermarkets twice a week, spending no more than 10 yuan, and buying fruits within 100 yuan a month.
At the age of beauty, girls don't buy clothes anymore, compress skin care products to only use affordable facial cleanser and water milk, cosmetics are not used at all, because boys also like her plain face.
Gifts for the holidays can save money, and boys buy a few cards in two-dollar stores and ten-dollar stores, which is a bit "ceremonial", which makes girls feel furious.
The bulk of the relationship is also dating, and they have previously recorded an experience of going to the snack street.
At the beginning of the video, the boy initiates an invitation and says that he wants to take his girlfriend out to eat something good.
When she arrived at the snack street, the girl bought a potato tart and a stinky tofu, all of which were paid by herself, and after the two sweetly shared food, the boy said that he had enough to go.
The girl was not happy, and begged: "But I still want to eat some meat." ”
After hearing this sentence, the boy's face sank at once.
A video of tens of seconds, it is not difficult to see how dedicated the girl is in this relationship.
According to the initial online information, the woman's family is good, with 2,000 living expenses per month, and the boy's family used to be a low-income household with 180 yuan per month, and now the family is also more difficult, and the living expenses are only 500 yuan per month.
After falling in love, in addition to the 1,500 yuan they spent together, the remaining 1,000 yuan they saved up together.
Discerning people can see that the common expenses on the surface are actually willingly posted by girls every month.
After the video fermented, netizens saw the boys' calculations and advised the girls to stop "poverty alleviation".
But soon, the girl came forward to refute the rumor that he only had 1,000 living expenses a month, and the boy had 1,600, and his family used to be in a bad situation, but now the family will give more living expenses in order to compensate him.
Whether this statement is true or excusing her boyfriend is also difficult to tell.
But Mi Li's mother felt that everyone was entangled in the living expenses of two people, and the focus was completely off.
The real problem is that in order to carry out this "money-saving love", girls unconsciously give up and compromise.
Not only the details of daily expenses, but also the deeper expression is the obedience and dependence of girls on their boyfriends.
After her boyfriend was attacked by the fires on the Internet, she immediately came out to defend that he was not as critical as everyone said, but "very willing to spend money on me."
The specific manifestation is: "The nine prices of more than a thousand injections, he said to hit me." ”
Hearing this, Mi Li's mother's eyes darkened.
The hidden logic behind it is that the nine prices are "my boyfriend asked me to fight", or "my boyfriend allowed me to fight".
But please, can't girls decide for themselves about playing nine prices? Even if you don't want to talk to your family, college students can save money and earn some extra money on their own, they can do it themselves, right?
Girls have been emphasizing that boys were once poor, so they are now thrifty. But he changed his mobile phone and didn't discuss it with the girl.
When his girlfriend found out, he got angry, so he wrote down the conflict in a memorandum, saying that he would never commit it again in the future, and the girl forgave him "understandingly".
For girls, her boyfriend's willingness to apologize and show concern for herself are all manifestations of "love", and she is happy for it.
In the eyes of boys, he has found a "good girl" who is obedient, sensible and willing to accompany him to endure hardships.
The scam of "rich nourishment"
A person who claimed to be a girl's brother in the dark horse video comment area said: "My sister has been sensible and well-behaved since she was a child, and her parents' palm pearl is now not as good as that of migrant workers." ”
Whether this person's identity is true or false is not discussed, but his words really speak the parents' hearts.
After falling in love, this girl had a hard time.
The boy sent fruits to the girl, "carefully arranged", put 4 apples, 3 oranges, half a kiwi, a few dried red dates, and the rest he ate when he sliced it, and sent it to the girl to share food with her;
On the weekend, the boy bought a bag of 12 small breads (one less than half a fist big) for the girl, let her serve breakfast, the girl was so hungry that she ate 10 at once, and the boy complained after seeing it: "Isn't this the amount of two days?" ”
The girls can't eat enough here, but the boys are working out and have trained a tendon meat.
Some people analyzed that with the amount of meals he ate with his girlfriend, it was impossible to train such muscles, and it was clear that there was a secret meal supplement with high-quality protein.
Someone released a comparison of photos of girls before and after falling in love, who used to be young and beautiful, but now they are hungry and thin.
Who is not distressed by this parent?
Many people think that as long as daughters grow up rich and have seen good things, they will not easily fall for men.
As everyone knows, the more materially rich the child, the easier it is to be carried away by the so-called love, psychology calls this manifestation the "rich and poor female effect".
Because a girl with a good family but no knowledge of the world has been worried about food and clothing since she was a child, and she needs spiritual satisfaction more than material things.
With just a little effort to render a "false love", they will fall into the self-PUA of "he is really good to me" and enter a manipulated unequal relationship.
The rich girl Ge Yue in the TV series "Home of the Heart" is such an example.
Ge Yue is the second generation of officials and the only daughter, and was educated by her parents to learn about Shu Dali. But since she married Gu Xin, a junior in her father's unit, her life has been slippery.
Gu Xin and Ge Yue were together because they fancy the power of their father-in-law's family, but Ge Yue naively thought that he was married to love.
After getting married, she ran the family with her heart and became pregnant not long after. But it happened that Father Ge fell from the horse, and the Ge family, which had lost power, let Gu Xin avoid it.
While pretending to be considerate of his wife's pregnancy, he cheated on his wife behind his back and calculated divorce every day.
Ge Yue felt her husband's heart, but she grew up in the greenhouse, but she was completely unprepared to face the breakdown of the family, and could only swallow her grievances into her stomach.
The rest of her life was predictably difficult to end.
As writer Ye Yicheng said: "Girls who are rich are like growing up drinking honey water in a honey nest, so tired that they subconsciously find their own suffering." ”
The material richness of only honey cannot fill the hole in the heart, and the real wealth is precious in the spirit.
Rice grain mother especially likes the heroine of the movie "Heartbeat", she is the girl who is really enriched by the spirit.
Julie's family is ordinary, her mother is a full-time wife, her father paints for a living, and there is an uncle with low intelligence at home, and the family is very poor.
But her parents made up for the material poverty with a loving education and gave her spiritual wealth that no one could take away: self-confidence, self-respect, self-love.
In front of the boys she likes, she never feels inferior, frankly expresses her heart, and bravely embarks on the road of chasing love.
But when the other party insulted her family, she did not deceive herself at all to excuse the boy, but righteously pointed out the other party's mistakes, revealed her bottom line, and put her self-feelings before love.
Such a girl can never be lost in rhetoric.
Girl, please be "selfish" a little
There is a saying on the Internet that bitterness will flow to people who are accustomed to suffering and love will only flow to those who know how to love themselves.
It's just right to annotate this video.
According to netizens, the boy was not so critical when he was with his ex-girlfriend.
At that time, the date asked for a "romance", bought snacks, ice cream, strawberry sugar gourd, tickets, spent when it should be spent, and sent a screenshot of the balance to his girlfriend saying "mine is all yours".
How did it get to my current girlfriend, so she cut back on food and clothing to this point?
In contrast, the life of the current girlfriend is simply ascetic.
But the girl is obsessed, willing to "dig wild vegetables", suffering and thinking that it is happiness.
In reality, there are many girls like her, do you remember actress Meng Guangmei?
She came from a wealthy family, but because she fell in love, she hollowed out her entire net worth.
When he was in love, his boyfriend disguised himself as a Kochi male god, lost weight for Meng Guangmei, and showed loyalty in front of Meng's father, who was seriously ill, which moved Meng Guangmei to death.
But this boyfriend has always been for Meng Guangmei's property.
Almost all of the living expenses of the two were paid for by Meng Guangmei; She likes to invest in real estate, but the man said that she was "stupid", so Meng Guangmei sold all the houses and taught him the money to take care of them.
Coming and going, Meng Guangmei voted all her net worth to her boyfriend, until one day her boyfriend said that she was going to Russia to develop, and then there was no reply overnight.
After being eaten and wiped clean, my boyfriend came back to break up and lied about the failure of the business, saying: "I'm sorry for such a terrible thing, but I know that you have suffered and believe that you will be able to get through this predicament, and I have confidence in you."
Meng Guangmei was still unwilling, crying and tying up her boyfriend with a rope, saying, "I can support you for the rest of my life."
But when she cried tired and fell asleep, her boyfriend ran away.
Until this time, Meng Guangmei suddenly realized that love and love are all lip service, and only what is held in her hands is the source of true security.
But the regret at this time became a joke, and she had to start all over again.
This outrageous story is embarrassing, but Mi Gran's mother has seen too many girls who "fight for love" in Meng Guangmei.
In fact, they do not know how to love themselves, turn a blind eye to their real needs, and only indulge in the scam of love.
The root cause behind this phenomenon is our long-standing misunderstanding of girls' education.
Rice grain mother saw a video and was particularly touched.
A mother took her daughter to buy sushi, and only the last one remained, and the daughter excitedly lamented that she was lucky today.
But a little boy came behind, who said that he wanted to eat so much that he asked his aunt to let him go.
The daughter hesitated for a long time and said to the boss: "This is still for the little brother in the back, I don't want it." ”
The mother ignored her daughter's words, ignored the surprised and then disappointed expression of the little boy behind her, and paid directly for the last sushi.
On the way home with her daughter, the mother asked her daughter: "Do you think your mother will praise you for being humble?" ”
Seeing that her daughter nodded, her mother continued to guide: "Why did you give it to that boy, do you think he should eat better food than you first?" ”
The daughter frowned and thought for a while and said, "No, he is older than me and came later than me." ”
Mom: "So he needs that sushi more than you do?" ”
Daughter: "No, I want to eat it myself." ”
Finally, my mother asked the point: "Since it is not, why let it?" ”
The daughter said the words in her heart: "Because I want to be a kind girl, do good deeds, and be happy to hear others say thank you." ”
But what this mother wants to teach her daughter is that you don't need to give in for the eyes of others, and mom will never praise you because you have wronged herself.
Put your own feelings first, this is the most important education for girls.
Who said that a good girl can only be kind and obedient, docile and weak?
For a long time, there has been a "good wife model" engraved in the DNA, the so-called "good girl education": teaching women to sacrifice themselves and water others with their youth and dedication, so as to appear sensible and decent.
It seems that women's sacrifice and grievances have always been "natural" and "politically correct". In marriage, girls are required to be sensible, tolerant, and able to endure hardships, which is clearly an exploitation!
Just like the girl in the video, the living expenses given by the family are enough to eat a full meal, buy a few bottles of favorite skin care products, go shopping with her girlfriends and drink a cup of milk tea, this is the college life she should enjoy, how can she live to eat a lunch with her boyfriend, and even eat more meat to be white-eyed?!
Is it to sacrifice the present self, in order to become the excellent other party in the future?
Whether it is an unmarried girl or a married woman, you can work hard and live your best life, or you can stop occasionally and enjoy life, because only you have the right to decide what kind of life to live, you deserve the best thing in the world!
Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.
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