Middle-class elite women decide to say goodbye to love brains

The finale of "My Human Fireworks", which has been hanging on the hot search for almost a month, has just quit the audience of the love brain because of the summer hit movie "Disappearing Her", and is about to be set up by the domestic drama love brain people again.

How did the love brain unknowingly become a "terminal disease" of the Internet?

The new "terminal disease" of the Internet in the 21st century

On social media, the "love brain" is believed to have a love first mindset. Once they fall in love, they will focus all their energy on their lovers: their studies are gone, their careers don't matter, and their friends and relatives are all about retreating.

Take the recent hit drama "My Human Fireworks", although many people have not watched an episode of the drama, they are not angry at all:

The heroine's brother gave her a car, and the heroine was unmoved; The male protagonist gave her a safety hammer, and the female protagonist was immediately moved by the starry eyes;

Usually at home is a mountain and sea delicacies, but because of a bowl of white porridge made by the male protagonist, I feel the "warmth of home".

A still from "My Human Fireworks"

Of course, this drama just once again ignited the public's scolding of thousands of love brains. At a time when making money and pursuing a career is sober in the world, a young man in love with a brain seems to be suffering from an incurable terminal illness.

On station B, a video with more than one million views "Scolding the love brain, can save one is one!" Below, you can see many people who are experiencing or have experienced the love brain, sharing their experiences. Netizen @Caramel Toast Keke recalled her love experience in high school, for her boyfriend, she put all her attention to becoming beautiful, wearing braces, makeup, and burning her head, until the college entrance examination results came out, the cruel reality woke her up.

The post-00s blogger @ Zhou Zhou on Xiaohongshu posted a note in West Africa last year returning to Nigeria with her African-American husband, and became a typical love brain for a while. The girl, who had just turned 20, was licensed for five months and months pregnant with her husband, who was 15 years older than her. In the comment section of this note, the most praised message came from a mother who advised the girl: "If life deceives you, be sure to stop the loss in time." ”

The public's complaints about love brain are not limited to real life, and the idol dramas I watched in childhood are also the hardest hit areas. Yuan Xiangqin in "Prank Kiss", Xia Zhixing in "Sheep Herding Stars", and the Seven Fairies in "Heavenly Immortal Match" were once regarded as sugar love bridges, and now they have all become the "criminal evidence" of the love brain.

Wang Baochuan, the originator of the love brain

In 2012, the domestic drama "Xue Pinggui and Wang Baochuan" successfully contributed a "love brain originator" - Wang Baochuan to the Internet ten years later. In the play, Wang Baochuan, who was originally Bai Fumei, would rather break off the father-daughter relationship than marry the poor Xue Pinggui for love, despite the opposition of his family.

Wang Baochuan's tragic ending in the TV series also coincides with the mockery of love brains on social media: after 18 years of hard digging wild vegetables in the cold kiln, he waited for the news that her husband Xue Pinggui married someone else after becoming famous. Netizens who hate iron and steel can't wait to say to everyone who has a love brain on their necks: Go, go and watch Wang Baochuan dig wild vegetables.

The love brain that was spit on by the whole network

The discussion of love has never been new, but the criticism of the love brain has never been as fierce as it is now.

The private message submission of Weibo emotional bloggers is "love brain hardest hit area". Netizens have transitioned from bitter advice and comfort in the past to directly "break up first when things are not decided", and to the "respect and blessings" that were simply unable to complain some time ago, to now, they will probably only comment with boredom, "? If you don't divide, don't submit. ”

In order to minimize the damage of the love brain to people, a new business has recently appeared on a certain treasure: scolding the love brain. Some of the chaperones engaged in this business are professional psychological counselors and some are part-time students, and they are divided into different levels according to the number of services and the praise rate.

Sober representative of the love session: "I Want to Fall in Love" Dawn Lang (played by Na Ying)

Classic line: Where is there any real love, your love is just a wrong imagination of yours.

At a time when the public's criticism of the love brain is becoming more and more acute, the scolding business is becoming more and more popular. In an interview with "36Kr", a chatter named Yuanyuan mentioned that his maximum daily income during the Chinese New Year this year can reach 2,000 to 3,000 yuan; After the release of the movie "Disappearing Her", the Taobao store "Hello Big Brother", which focuses on the business of "scolding the love brain", can exceed 1,000 sales in one day.

Knowing that "being scolded awake" is difficult, but many customers still frequently order this service. For the escort, the most important job is not to make customers instantly "sober", but to provide them with emotional values such as comfort and encouragement in the process of communication.

"I want to fall in love" dawn quotes / source: B station UP main @ scissors let me go

This is exactly the same as Liu Qing's point of view in the video "Popular Culture Tells Us That People Should Not Believe in Love": contemporary men and women are both eager to be hit in the head by true love, but also anxious that their interests will be damaged and fall into the abyss of irreparable disaster.

Instead of suffering gains and losses in romantic love, it may be a simple and direct sentence "love is not worth it" that can step on the public's emotional points.

Love brain became the original sin of girls

However, you may have noticed that 99% of the satirized love brains on the Internet are women.

In many love brain story submissions, women's emotional needs are usually long-term and stable, but real-life love is always short and erratic. Despite this, there are still many women who are willing to give up the precious opportunities in social life for the sake of unstable love.

In contrast, men rarely lose important vested opportunities by being involved in a relationship. No man will experience an online "siege" because of the label of "love brain". What's more, even if men have "love brains", they will be packaged as "brave", "infatuated", and "adventurous for love".

In fact, it is often women who fiercely attack the love brain. Take the Douban persuasion group as an example, adhering to the principle of "persuasion does not persuade peace!" Make up your mind to break up! Nearly 400,000 "breakup masters" have been assembled here, and the gender ratio of the group members is about 2:8 for men to women, with women accounting for the vast majority, and a kind of female alliance has naturally formed in the group.

When they see the submissions of "love brains", they usually discuss the dominance in the emotions, the investment and return ratio of both parties in the emotions, the degree of hurt in the emotions, and so on. Of course, the conversation around these ultimately focuses on whether the two need to break up.

Opposition to the love brain, more like against themselves who have given everything for love and believe in love supremacy, many girls use the experience of contributors to express their anger, pointing out the selfishness and cunning of the perpetrator (usually men) in each intimate relationship, dissuading the parties to break up quickly, "Don't you keep it for the New Year?" ”

It is undeniable that the discussion of dissuading the love brain is indeed a valuable inspiration for many people who have not thought about the unequal power in intimate relationships, but now the advice on the Internet for the love brain is indeed becoming more and more simplistic.

When seeing examples of people who desire romantic relationships who are difficult to extricate themselves from intimate relationships to endure grievances but are unwilling to break up, many comments sharply said that these girls are "self-inflicted", "ignorant, dull, and unsober". The "love brain" has become the opposite of reason, they believe that women are more likely to be carried away by love and cannot control their reason. Men, on the other hand, are always very sober and self-centered "career brains", which also create offensive comments such as "wife", "deserving", "three children locked" and other offensive comments aimed at women with love brains.

Such words point the problem to the weak party in the incident, who not only have to digest the hurt emotionally, but also need to bear the shame brought by the "love brain", which is easy to produce fear of love, and even doubt their own value.

But in fact, the real love brain is difficult to quit. In psychology, the scientific name of the love brain, known as emotional dependence, is a "love addiction" behavior that relies on someone in an attempt to satisfy one's unmet needs.

Some scholars believe that severe emotional dependence comes from the deep emotional deficit in childhood. Because they cannot love themselves, or even dislike themselves, love brains can only obtain personal value and recognition by seeking things they do not have from the outside world, that is, "love others", or "love of others", make up for the inner void, and avoid emotional pain.

As attachment to others grows, it is often difficult for love brains to bear loss. When the dose of love becomes insufficient, various vicious circles will occur.

As social animals, humans more or less need to be attached or recognized, but love supremacy has become a thing of the past, love brain is not the antidote, and overly simplistic criticism on the Internet is not.

Learning to love ourselves will ultimately help us build authentic, healthy intimacy.

Written by: Echo, Pomelo

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