When my cousin got married, the family made a big mess.
In fact, at the beginning, the relatives and families still have you and me, hello and I are good to each other either fight a landlord, or play a mahjong, the day is called a happy.
But I didn't expect that after getting married, the two families began to have little contact, talking, and even poking each other's backbones between each other, and no one could see who was not pleasing to the eye.
Someone will always ask what is the biggest taboo against family interaction, and if you listen to the story I tell, this story is really critical.
Point 1, my personal experience.
When my cousin was young, she actually looked very beautiful, and since she was beautiful, she also had capital, so my cousin's mother was also my aunt.
Everyone says that like my girlfriend is so powerful, the future to marry a man must be more than 1 meter 75 height, the monthly salary is more than 30,000 yuan, it is best to be a bachelor's degree can get the bride price at least more than 300,000, to have a car and a house.
At first, others thought that my aunt was dreaming, but they didn't think that this matter really made my cousin successful.
And the cousin really did this, and the aunt was very happy that day, although the cousin's object was 13 years older than the cousin.
But there is really no way, I can feel the despair of my cousin, because according to the point of view put forward by my aunt, whoever has this capital or more bluntly, which young man can come up with 300,000 yuan without moving.
Even if I can't say that I have a small achievement in the company, at least I have a certain prestige, and then I have made such a big contribution to the company, and the monthly salary can reach more than 20,000 yuan.
But even so, the money I can come up with is only 100,000 yuan, if I expect to be able to get 300,000 yuan, and there is a car and a house, it must be at least 10 years older than my cousin.
Although we outsiders point fingers at this, some people even say, you are going to marry your own girlfriend, or you want to sell your girlfriend.
It's just that the aunt didn't hear anything out of the window about this, and she only wanted to marry her daughter off, so she thought about it and finally took shape.
So my aunt was also very happy, and on the same day, she said to my relatives around me, you see that I can finally marry my daughter without me.
In order to show how successful he is in raising his daughter, how motivated he is, and how active he has played in his daughter's marriage.
My cousin's mother, my aunt, began to look at each other with my cousin's parents, eating a meal at every turn, chatting at every turn, and sometimes playing cards, fighting landlords, and playing mahjong.
Sometimes when my cousin's parents still need to be busy working for their sons, hurrying to earn money to make enough dowry to marry my cousin, my aunt still runs to the other side without any eyesight and pulls people to play games.
At the very least, my brother-in-law's parents saw that my aunt was dead or alive, and always felt that my aunt seemed to lack roots in her brain, and said that it was not very profitable to do things, and more importantly, nothing could be done.
After my cousin and cousin-in-law got married, my aunt began to actively mix with the cousin-in-law's family affairs, and the cousin-in-law here, the family affairs, are not between the two children but the family affairs.
In other words, according to my aunt, the matter of the two old people opposite the people is our business, and if there is any problem with the two old people on the other side, we must share the worries and solve the problems at the first time.
There is nothing wrong with this thing, but when you do it, it is always a little weird, to put it more bluntly, what do you do?
Are you just an outsider, as an outsider, you suddenly run into people's homes, but also mix with people's homes, things inside the family, how do you let people's homes, people are grateful to you? That's basically unlikely.
Point 2, how should the elderly on both sides of the husband and wife interact?
The most critical step in our discussion is how the elderly should communicate between husband and wife.
If we don't understand, it is easy to have problems, here I summarize the following aspects for you, let's see if there is any truth.
First of all, there must be a sense of boundaries, the so-called sense of boundaries, that is, your family's affairs, your family's affairs, my family's affairs are my family's affairs, and our two families should not live as a family.
To put it more bluntly, you just married your own daughter, and your son just married the daughter of the other family, but it doesn't mean that the relationship between you has become so good.
There is not much communication between you old people or do not need too much communication, and if there is any problem between the two sides, communicate with your daughter or son-in-law or son-in-law, you can get a perfect and proper solution.
There is no need to intervene in the life of the elderly husband and wife, if you intervene in the life of the elderly, it will make people misunderstand.
Secondly, we must respect each other, and never think that if you marry your daughter to each other, you can talk about something, and you can do whatever you want.
If you really do this, then I can only say that you have made a big mistake, and in the same way, we must not think that as long as we marry the daughter of the other party, we can do this ourselves, so that we can do it without scruples.
If this is the case, it will only make the relationship between the two families extremely tense in the end.
Finally, and most importantly, the emotional intelligence should be higher, and you must not directly poke people's backbones when you speak.
People have not said anything about you, but you have talked about this topic in a big way, in the end, a person without emotional intelligence is not very respected by everyone in any link, in any place, on any occasion.
Because your lack of emotional intelligence leads to everyone's trust is very hurt, you just imagine, how can such a life be obtained.
If there is an emotional basis between husband and wife, then the occasional interaction between the parents of the husband and wife is not a big problem, if there is no emotional basis between the husband and wife, you only need to remember a point.
That is, the people of the previous generation of husband and wife, that is, between parents, should treat each other as guests, as long as they are not a big problem, they are afraid that they will really treat each other as their own relatives.