Keywords: Give everything to other women, and search for me
Q: My daughter, third-tier city, 38 years old, height 161cm, 49kg, medium appearance, body proportion is acceptable, annual income of 300,000-500,000, with a caravan, divorced to live with his son;
The other party, the same city, 41 years old, stable unit, 174cm, 101kg, annual income of about 200,000, smoking and drinking (swearing and grinning when drinking too much), divorced with a son and ex-wife.
We met through the blind date platform three years ago, I didn't look up to him at the time, I met two or three times in the follow-up, met again in September last year, suddenly had a feeling, just together, in October after meeting both parents and living together in my house.
No woman can get out of a man's mobile phone alive, and in the year or two before his mobile phone found that he knew me, he frequently had various transfers with several women, hundreds of small ones, tens of thousands, and used another mobile phone to add a variety of small video groups and large-scale dating groups.
He explained that after confirming the relationship with me, there was no contact, adding those groups was just curious, and withdrew the group deletion number. Promise not to add such a group in the future, have saved relevant records, and warn him that if he finds it again, he will immediately break up and post it online.
In addition to occasionally buying vegetables, buying some tissues, holiday gifts to buy bouquets of flowers, he has not bought any gifts for me, there are no red envelopes and transfers, communication is fruitless, is not willing to send.
After spending most of the year together, he would help me send a child to work in the morning, cook when he came back at night, and there would be some communication and exchange before going to bed, which was quite harmonious.
Regarding his dedication to other women, the search for me, and the history of promiscuity, these two knots cannot be opened, and I hope that the wisdom of leng da and enthusiastic netizens will point out one or two.
Cold Love Reply:
Through the above story, we once again see the way women deal with high and low emotional intelligence.
Before sharing the growth methods of high emotional intelligence women, let's first put a lid on the top of the pot to explain:
We are definitely not saying that this boy is right and good, and we have no intention of asking the heroine to continue to be with this boy. In the boy's own words, "he's just a piece of garbage," we won't judge.
Because we respond to this story not to vent our emotions, but to share through this story: How to become a woman with high emotional intelligence?
From the chat records and question descriptions given by the heroine of the above story, we can see 5 common manifestations of low emotional intelligence:
1) Disgust.
Although boys have various problems, they also have places to attract the heroine.
For example, the heroine said in the description of the question that "she didn't look at him at the beginning", so why did she suddenly feel it after seeing two or three faces in succession?
Maybe it's because she doesn't have a better option, or maybe she's found something about boys that attracts them. If there is indeed something that attracts you, then appreciate his strengths instead of rejecting his shortcomings.
The original intention of the two sides together is unknown, but if it is with a person who we dislike, this start is wrong.
A woman with high emotional intelligence should always look for a man she admires.
2) Fried cold rice.
From the chat record, you can see that the boy thinks that the matter has passed, but the heroine will continue to turn it out and say, so he is very depressed: "It was all very good, why turn it out every time?" It makes everyone feel bad! ”。
The sentence "Why do you turn it out every time" is actually what the boy wants to express: If something has happened, as long as it is seriously and thoroughly handled properly, the matter has already passed.
The performance of a woman with low emotional intelligence is to turn over old accounts again and again, while the performance of a woman with high emotional intelligence is to live in the moment.
3) Appetite.
The boy said a sentence in the chat record, which is very interesting: "Originally you went to buy me a racket, I was so excited that I was in tears, and I knew that the plot suddenly reversed, and suddenly turned these out again, and instantly fell to the bottom."
This kind of momentary state of appetite, I have seen in other emotional stories: two people are already fine, or before two people are going to have something beautiful, the girl suddenly puts forward a condition, and immediately loses her appetite.
Women with high emotional intelligence are always good at creating a beautiful and comfortable sense of atmosphere, which we call "atmosphere beauty".
The sense of atmosphere beauty is not only how the makeup is, but can create the atmosphere in the relationship very well. Let both parties enjoy a thing, enjoy a relationship, not just fulfill their obligations.
4) Label.
From what the boy said, "I am a garbage myself", it can be seen that the boy is very good at attacking himself by labeling himself.
But the heroine is really good at labeling, not only saying to the boy "willing to pay to others", but also saying "you are willing to give everything you have".
Thinking of the first sentence in their chat history, although it is only half presented, it is probably to ask her boyfriend to buy her pajamas.
The heroine obviously said that this man gave everything for others, but also wanted him to buy her pajamas, in her heart, is this boy not much different from the ATM machine?
Women with low emotional intelligence make the other party think that he is an ATM machine, and women with high emotional intelligence do not label each other and make the other party willing to pay.
5) Negative.
The heroine of the above story has a lot of negatives about boys, especially the sentences "Then you do it personally" and "less this set".
Frankly, if you really deny a guy in your heart, don't be with him.
Why would the heroine be with him while denying? Because the cards in her own hand were not played well.
The opposite of negation is recognition, praise, and the expansion of good results, that is, the process of slowly expanding the results on this basis after a person has obtained a part of something.
Women with high emotional intelligence will be very good at attacking the city in the relationship map, laying down one point and then spreading to the next point, and finally winning everything; while women with low emotional intelligence are constantly denying men's efforts and advantages in the relationship.
Seeing this, some people may say, "Why do you ask girls to do this?" ”
I didn't ask the girl to do this, just because it was this girl who asked the question, and if it was the boy who asked the question, I would definitely respond to the boy. Whoever asks for help responds; whoever feels pain, we support whoever changes. Whoever suffers changes, who changes benefits.
Moreover, we say that high emotional intelligence and low emotional intelligence have no other meaning, but want to express: all the results and all the victories we want to get in life must be obtained through two major tracks, either in reason and wealth, or in emotion and love.
Especially in the matter of love, our [Mission Psychology] love journey is to help everyone continuously improve themselves and become a better person.
Illustrations herein, by any organization or individual, may not be used for commercial purposes without permission