In the process of growing up, children will definitely encounter more or less setbacks and difficulties. However, when different children face these difficulties, the state they show is also varied.
Some children cringe after encountering difficulties, while some children are able to face difficulties head-on, and some children will find ways to overcome difficulties when they encounter difficulties.
These behavioral differences in children after encountering difficulties are actually a difference in the level of reverse quotient, and the lower the inverse quotient, the worse the tolerance for setbacks.
Therefore, from the side point of view, inverse quotient is more important than IQ and emotional intelligence.
"Reverse Quotient" has also been mentioned: higher than IQ, more important than emotional intelligence, is the reverse quotient in the face of bad events.
The elderly man who is seriously ill, because he has a high reverse quotient, has a miracle of turning the crisis into safety
Earlier, I saw a news story about a foreign grandfather who was unwell and was tested for cancer.
Everyone knows that cancer is an incurable disease, and people think that the boss may be depressed, but the boss is unexpectedly calm, and after learning that his time is short, he withdraws all his savings to complete some of his long-term wishes.
As a result, on the day the doctor announced, the old man's condition did not deteriorate significantly, and when he went to the hospital for an examination, he found that the cancer not only did not spread, but also showed signs of "weakness". After a period of time, when the review was made, the doctor found that the old man's illness was miraculously better.
In fact, a large part of the factors that lead to the recovery of the boss's illness is that the boss can still face it with a positive attitude when facing adversity, simply put, it is the high contrarian quotient that makes the boss turn the crisis into safety.
So, is inverse quotient a positive mindset? It's not that simple.
Inverse quotient is usually divided into four dimensions that you want to understand
In fact, contrarian quotient is mainly divided into four aspects, namely control, responsibility, influence and sustainability.
Control: It is a attitude of controlling fate that varies from person to person. That is to say, when people encounter difficulties, they feel hopeless, give up struggle and resistance, or believe that they can change their fate and strive to seize every opportunity to realize their ideas.
It can also be understood as whether a person has a strong will, whether he does not succumb to seemingly powerful difficulties, and whether he has a heart that controls himself.
Responsibility: The main thing to say is a sense of responsibility. A responsible child, if he encounters some difficulties because of the performance of his responsibilities, although he may have some fear of difficulties, but because of the sense of responsibility, the child has to have a psychology that must overcome difficulties, because only by overcoming the difficulties in front of him can he complete his tasks and assume corresponding responsibilities.
Influence: Talking about other factors that can lead to difficulties encountered by a child. For example, when the child encounters difficulties, he will find that if this difficulty is not solved, then it may cause some other difficulties, and other difficulties may cause more difficulties, and eventually reach an unbearable and unacceptable level.
When the child sees the consequences that may eventually occur, he has to force himself to overcome the immediate difficulties, because if this small difficulty is not solved, then what awaits him may be more difficulties, worse influences, and more unfavorable situations.
Persistence: It is said that when a child faces some difficulties, how long he thinks the difficulties last.
Some children with a low sustainability dimension will subjectively prolong the persistence of difficulties in their own understanding, and even directly determine that the persistence of difficulties is permanent, so that children can get a comforting self-denial in their hearts: this difficulty is permanent. In other words, the child thinks that he cannot overcome this difficulty.
And once the child affirms his own ideas, then he will lose all efforts to overcome difficulties and choose to give up.
Knowing the four dimensions of inverse quotient, we can purposefully improve the inverse quotient.
How can parents improve their children's contrarian quotient?
First of all, in the face of adversity, we must learn to clearly recognize our own reactions, that is, to have a clearer judgment of our own contrarian quotient, and to see what level our inverse quotient generally belongs to.
Secondly, you also need to understand the difficulties you face and how much responsibility you need to bear. It should be noted here that when judging responsibility, do not deliberately expand or even catastrophize the difficulty, because the intensity of the difficulty, quiet will directly affect their own judgment of the size of the responsibility.
Again, try to get rid of the negative parts of your adversity reaction. As for the way to get rid of it, in fact, it is difficult to say that it is difficult, and it is simple to say that it is simple.
Usually, we can get rid of a few smaller parts by a single aspect:
First: whether the analysis of difficulties can be controlled by themselves;
Second: how much influence the analysis difficulty has, and how wide the scope of negative influence on itself is;
Third: the objective existence of the time period of analysis difficulties, in view of the overcomeability of difficulties, generally after calm analysis, it is usually found that in fact, the situation they are facing is not too bad.
The last point is to start acting and overcome the difficulties. Of course, it is also necessary to establish a specific implementation plan to ensure the success rate of overcoming difficulties and thus improve their enthusiasm.
The method of improving the inverse quotient mentioned here requires more of a self-awareness, starting from itself to subjectively improve the inverse quotient. However, many children generally lack subjective initiative, so it is also necessary to adopt a more child-friendly approach to improve the child's reverse quotient, and reading picture books is a very good choice.
(The pictures in this article are from the Internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete)