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When people reach middle age, they keep these 3 secrets in front of their relatives, not because they have a deep heart, but because of their high emotional intelligence
When people reach middle age, if they still do not understand the sophistication of human feelings and do not know how to deal with the interpersonal relationships around them, they are doomed to become a great instrument.
Thirty years old, you must understand what to say in the face of whom. If you don't choose your words, your mouth is not covered, and you always tell your life, experiences and encounters to the people around you, you will not only get comfort and help; it is inevitable that some people will dislike you, treat you as a plague god, and stay away.
In addition to your own loved ones, you need to learn to be reserved when dealing with so-called relatives and friends. Especially in the face of relatives, the following three secrets must be kept.
Secret 1: Family "Troubles"
As the saying goes: family ugliness should not be publicized.
Chinese are good-looking, but also the most unsightly others, always like to watch the hilarity.
If you tell others all the ugliness of the family without any scruples, pass it on to ten or ten hundred, it will soon become known to everyone. Some people may sympathize, but there must also be people who will be schadenfreude, or even fall into the well.
If you don't want your family's troubles to become the talk of others after dinner, don't want to raise your head in front of others, don't want to become the laughing stock of others, then learn to shut up, learn to hide, learn to keep secrets.
Everyone has their own life, don't expect your relatives to save you from water and fire.
Remember a truth: "The poor are in the downtown area and no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." "When you're poor, the less people look up to you, and the less anyone wants to help you."
Secret two: financial situation
The older many people get, the more they like to show off, as long as they make some money, they will brag about it with great fanfare.
In order to satisfy his vanity, he told the family's financial situation, and even how many deposits the bank had. It is nothing more than making people envious and making their faces shine.
As the saying goes: wealth is not revealed.
The more wealth you expose, the easier it is to get into trouble. For example, if a relative asks you to borrow money, do you borrow it or not?
If you borrow it, you are worried that if you don't pay it back, you won't feel happy in your heart; if you don't borrow it, you will hurt your kinship and make it difficult to get along with it in the future.
This is typical of cocooning oneself, digging a pit for oneself, and being extremely stupid.
Secret three: internal contradictions
Although they are relatives, they are outsiders after all, and unless their interests are involved, try not to involve them.
The things that you can solve on your own, to solve them yourself, always expect others to be the end of the road.
In particular, the internal contradictions in the family, such as the disharmony of the relationship, etc., tell these to relatives, in addition to being ridiculed and taught, I really can't think of any other results.
Remember, not everyone wants you to be well. Sometimes, the closer the relationship, the more you can't see you, especially the so-called relatives.
The most typical example is the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which leads to family discord, and once it is known to outsiders, it is inevitable to be judged. Even if sometimes you do it without problems, you will still become the target of public criticism.
So, instead of expecting others to sympathize with you, care for you, and help you, it's more practical to save yourself.
All in all, as a middle-aged person, the thinking must be mature, especially in handling interpersonal relationships, not well considered, it is easy to bring trouble to yourself and become the laughing stock of others. If you know how to hide the above 3 secrets, not only will you not appear to be deep in your heart, but you will be considered to have high enough emotional intelligence.
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