After the age of 30, I found that the real advantage of men in marriage and love is not a material condition

Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story

An original emotion number that deserves your attention

Illustration/from the web

"Before the age of 30, I thought that the biggest advantage of men was material conditions, and after the age of 30, I found out that this is just a misunderstanding that many men often enter."

That's what an older single friend next to me said to me.

He is 32 years old this year, has a house and a car, and has a monthly income of 9,000, which is less than the top and more than the bottom, but getting married is still a very difficult thing for him.

His biggest disadvantage is his height, when he was in his 20s, he was often rejected for his height, at that time he secretly vowed to use material conditions to make up for this defect, and now he has a house and a car, and his income is also very good, but girls still can't accept his height.

Looking back at the friends around him, many men who are taller than him, but whose material conditions are inferior to his, are married and have children.

Gide wrote in "Food on Earth": "With the swing of the reeds, we know the wind, but the wind is still more important than the reed." ”

We can see the essence of a thing through external phenomena, but the essence is always more important than the phenomenon.

People think that men can't get married because they are poor, this is an external phenomenon, it is undeniable that those who are too poor can indeed step into the temple of marriage, but the real reason why men cannot marry wives in life is not because of poverty.

There are not many material differences between ordinary people

Except for men who have no academic qualifications, a monthly income of three thousand, and no houses and no cars, most people have the ability to support their families.

Even if you can't get rich, you will never let your family go hungry.

As for the men in the ordinary class who are slightly better in material conditions, they have only mortgaged a house and a car, and these two things have cost them the savings of two generations.

But even so, in the long time to come, they will have to work hard to make money to repay the loan.

Nowadays, most families have the ability to mortgage a house for their children, so that having a house and a car has become a threshold for marriage.

From this point of view, men of the ordinary class do not have much difference in material conditions.

The only difference between them is that some people buy a house a little easier, and some people buy a house a little harder.

The poor will not be too poor, the rich will not be too rich, there are gaps, but the gap is very small.

This is the truest state of affairs at the moment.

Since everyone's economic ability is not far apart, then material conditions are naturally not the main reason for determining the height of a man in the marriage market.

Men's strength lies in themselves

For men of the average class, the real advantage is not material conditions, but their own differences.

Emotional intelligence.

Many people may find that some men have average financial conditions and look very average, but they can always be able to get comfortable in the women's world.

They rely not on anything else, but on emotional intelligence, which is a virtue that needs to be discovered after two people really get along, and once found, women will be immersed in it.

Men with high emotional intelligence know how to provide emotional value, which is hugely lethal to anyone.

Emotional satisfaction creates emotional dependence, and women happen to be dependent creatures.

Appearance.

Men like young and beautiful women, they think that women's appearance is very important, and men's appearance is not enough to hang their teeth, in fact, this is a misunderstanding.

Women value the appearance of the opposite sex more than men because they are born with a good look association.

The reason why small fresh meat is popular in the entertainment industry at present is because women like young and handsome men, and most of those who watch TV are women, so women's aesthetics have formed a social aesthetic.

As long as a man is tall and handsome, even if his other conditions are not good, even if his temper is not good, there will be girls willingly following him, which is a phenomenon often seen in real life.

Talk.

The so-called conversation is actually the height of a man's thinking, and to achieve this, many conditions are needed, such as good academic qualifications and broad experience, and even extraordinary insights.

If a man can have an advantage in this regard, it proves that he is a person with connotations, although women look at appearance first, but after a long time together, they are often moved by a man's connotations.

In the entertainment circle of handsome men, the most fundamental reason why Huang Bo and others are so popular is that they have interesting souls, they are very humorous, and they can always bring happiness to people.

Ordinary men improve their advantages and improve themselves first

Ordinary men want to get married early, they must get out of the misunderstanding, do not dwell on material conditions, and do not attribute the reason why they cannot get rid of the single to material conditions, because in terms of money, the gap between everyone will not be too large.

In this world, 90% of people are ordinary people, but 90% of people have stepped into the palace of marriage, which shows that men's advantage is not money, because most people will not have money in their lifetime.

Based on this, everyone should improve themselves more.

First, the change in appearance

A person's appearance is innate, but it does not mean that there is no change.

As the saying goes, three points depend on looks, and seven points depend on dressing.

As long as you pay attention to the cultivation of hairstyles and dress and temperament, your overall image will also be greatly enhanced.

Second, the improvement of emotional intelligence

There are two ways to improve emotional intelligence, the first way is to read more books on emotional intelligence, and then learn and sell now.

The second way is to make more friends with high emotional intelligence, see how they behave, and you can improve in the long time.

Third, the blessing of the soul

Good-looking skin bags are the same, interesting souls are one of the best.

Profound knowledge, extraordinary insight, humorous conversation are all interesting souls.

This is a bit difficult to improve, but as long as it accumulates over time, it can still achieve initial results.

There is nothing difficult in the world, but I am afraid of those who have a heart.

In this world, the men who really can't get married are after all a very small minority, as long as you recognize the reality and actively change, sooner or later there will be a light for you.

Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column

May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.