Chatting with friends and inadvertently talking about when women change the most, we all agree that women change the most after marriage.
According to the normal "process", women will have children after marriage, followed by three meals a day and an inexhaustible heart.
If she lives in a happy marriage, the woman will be healed by the marriage and become more and more confident and beautiful; if she lives in an unhappy marriage, she will only be tormented endlessly by the marriage.
When talking about the topic of marriage, I think everyone has different feelings. Some people regret not listening to their parents, some people think they got married early, and some people feel that they didn't marry the right person...
In fact, no matter how you say it, marriage is a hurdle and a necessary path in life, but in what way we should experience it, the final decision is still in our own hands.
What kind of marriage a person has, what kind of life will have, this is all doomed.
Here, we should also remind young people who are about to enter marriage, and before deciding to get married, we must know these three things.
1, in terms of material, it is best to support each other
Although I don't want to believe it, I still have to understand that "poor couples are sad", and the most important reason for the emotional discord between many couples around them is from the material living conditions.
I remember when my cousin got married, my cousin swore that even if he didn't have a house or a car now, he had a heart that loved his cousin, and would work hard for his cousin and their family, and would never fail his cousin for the rest of his life.
Although my cousin's wedding was not solemn, there should be a ceremony. So that later, when everyone talked about the cousin's wedding, they all felt that the cousin married the right person, and the future married life must be very good.
However, this is not the case, the cousin and the cousin-in-law have been married for five years, and the feelings of the two people have gone from sweet to quarrelsome, making the whole family inseparable.
A few days ago, my cousin finally divorced my cousin-in-law. When asked about the reason for the divorce, the cousin did not shy away from saying that the cousin-in-law had no money, could not support the family, and he was not motivated, delicious and lazy, and there were many excuses.
Although my cousin is not a graduate of a prestigious university, she is also a good key college graduate and has a good job in the city.
But even if the job is good and the income is good, since the birth of the cousin's child, various living expenses have spent almost all the previous savings.
The cousin-in-law did not think so, he thought that he did not have much demand when he was a child, as long as the child can obediently not get sick, there is no need to buy any high-end milk powder, and there is no need to go to the mother and baby shop to do various nursing and the like.
Since the birth of the child, the cousin and the cousin-in-law have to quarrel almost every day, the main reason is that the cousin's income can not supply the child's expenditure, so many times the cousin asked the cousin to buy baby products, and the cousin always bought some unusable defective products to go home in order to save money.
When trivial life replaced the wind and snow, it was found that the fairy tales of princesses and princes could be listened to, but could not be believed, and marriage was more of a fireworks world.
We all understand that love is beautiful, but love will eventually return to life, and with the current economic and consumption situation, all happy marriages are actually based on material foundations.
Life is made up of countless tiny details, and after marriage, the person who can give you three meals a day and guarantee you warmth is far better than the person who says "I love you" to you three times a day.
Love needs to be implemented in practice, and marriage is a lifelong thing. What determines how far two people can go is not the full moon in the movie, but the self-perception, the observation of the partner, the foresight of life, and the assessment of life risks.
2. Spiritually like-minded
Because Miss Lin studied for a doctorate, her adolescence was almost always based on learning, and she rarely had contact with the opposite sex.
Because of this, after she joined the work, she met a man who was still good to her. Two people have been in love for less than a year, and both parties feel that they have passed the best time to get married, so they start to think about getting married.
Miss Korin's mother said that she did not agree to marry her boyfriend, on the grounds that the boyfriend was only a high school graduate, the two people were different in thinking and cognition, even if there was a common topic temporarily, there would be many differences after marriage.
At that time, Miss Lin was already deeply in love, and she still ignored her mother's opposition and resolutely married her boyfriend.
However, the marriage of the two people did not become as much as Miss Lin's mother said, because there was no common topic to say.
Usually, after Miss Lin returns home, she will talk to her husband about professional terms at work, but her husband will listen very patiently and then give his understanding within his cognitive range;
Her husband would also talk to Miss Lin about things on the construction site, such as the operation of various large machines, and Miss Lin also listened to her husband very patiently and finally gave her own ideas.
Although two people have different cognitions in many places, they will try very hard to get close to each other. For example, what books Miss Lin has been reading recently, her husband will take the time to understand the relevant knowledge, and then chat with Miss Lin about the same topic. Miss Lin will also take the initiative to understand what her husband is interested in and take the initiative to communicate with her husband.
Why is it that people with such a large gap in education, salary, and life circle have such a harmonious marriage?
Miss Lin said: "Because both people give each other good spiritual value and emotional companionship. ”
A comfortable marriage certainly provides full spiritual value.
3, adhere to the marriage, can keep each other's bottom line
In Zhihu saw a question: how to describe the current marriage is the most appropriate?
There is a very positive answer: in this era of crumbling beliefs, marriage is no longer worthy of trust. Domestic violence, cold violence, and cheating have become commonplace, and the thorns planted by the hands of the hand cannot open a lily.
I have seen a sentence: "Marriage is a strict discipline." ”
The discipline mentioned here is to keep the promises made at the wedding in marriage, restrain your desires, and do not violate the moral bottom line.
Some people in marriage will always hold the psychology of luck, thinking that it will not be too much of a problem to make one or two mistakes once or twice.
You don't know that once you break the moral bottom line, you have to take responsibility.
Loving someone can be without any conditions, but to love someone, there must be a bottom line.
Everyone has the right to love, and it is free to love a person, but this freedom must be within the realm of morality, and if it is beyond that range, it is self-destruction.
Both men and women must understand the person's human behavior and personality before marriage. Because marriage cannot touch the moral bottom line: do not use fists, do not use third parties, do not engage in extramarital affairs.
The long road of marriage is full of thorns on the beach, and the person who travels a long way for his own lights must be a person with gentle feelings and strong steps.
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