I am Xiaoyuan, an emotional creator who loves words and reading, I hope to bring you warmth, and I welcome you to tell me your story!
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From ancient times to the present, the issue of fertility has always attracted public attention.
And the idea of son preference has never disappeared.
Although, from a long time ago, society has promoted equality between men and women, but it is difficult to achieve it in real life.
Whether it is Fan Shengmei in "Ode to Joy" or Su Mingyu in "All Is Well", they are all victims of the concept of son preference.
From a young age, they want to give the best to their brothers or brothers in the family, but they themselves do not feel the warmth of their families.
This may seem like just the plot of a TV series, however, sometimes the reality may be more brutal.
Because reality will not only affect your family's love for you, but also interfere with your marriage.
There is a saying that says, "Love is when I fall in love with someone, marriage is when I don't love anyone else anymore." ”
I strongly agree with that.
However, some marriages are not smooth sailing, because there are too many objective factors and variables, and we can only move forward in the wind and rain.
As the sister in the family, Yang Li can only have a childhood without love, until she meets her husband, she began to face her fate.
Let's hear her story.
1. My brother is the "emperor" of the family, and I am superfluous
My name is Yang Li, I work as an operations supervisor in an Internet company, and I often have friends who envy my career success, but I rarely pay attention to my past.
I am not the only child in the family, and there is a younger brother Yang Fan who is 3 years younger than me.
Therefore, since I was a child, I have never enjoyed the happiness of being loved by my parents and holding in the palm of my hand.
Most of the time, I am the "protective umbrella" that accompanies my brother, but this is not my intention.
There is a saying: "Girls are only accessories to the family, boys are necessary for the family." ”
This sentence is most appropriate for me.
My parents were responsive to my brother's needs, and I was always that superfluous.
Because of this, I have been very inferior since I was a child, and I have a sensitive personality.
I didn't like to play with other kids, so even though I was reluctant to take my brother, it seemed like my only friend at the time.
It can be said that I love and hate my brother, and for my parents, I am afraid and love.
At that time, the conditions at home were not good, and I dropped out of school before graduating from elementary school, so to this day, many people admire me for being where I am today.
But they don't know that if it weren't for my escape from the plight of my original family, I might only be like many girls who compromised on their parents' arrangements, marry early, and use the bride price to build a house for my brother and marry a daughter-in-law.
When I think about it, I feel a little afraid inside.
In the impression, the degree of favoritism of parents towards their brother is much higher than everyone imagines.
They can even open their eyes and "talk nonsense."
I clearly remember that on the day of my brother's third year of high school, he went home for dinner and quietly told me that he wanted to eat chicken and make up for it.
However, the old hen in the family was usually used to lay eggs, and I was also hesitant at that time.
But my brother had to eat, and I thought that my parents loved my brother and wouldn't say anything, so I stewed the old hen in the house.
I thought we would be safe, but I didn't want my parents to come back, and I didn't ask the reason, so I scolded me.
Even though I explained that my brother wanted to eat, they still put the responsibility on me alone.
I have always remembered this matter in my heart, and I still have not let go.
I think that there is nothing more to say and do than to favor sons over daughters.
2, my husband spent "heavy money" to marry me home, my parents were happy
Later, my brother went to college, and I also left the small family and came out to work.
At first, I had no diploma or skills, but I was eager to change my destiny on my own.
So I was working on the assembly line during the day and going to night school at night.
The hardships are known only to me.
For an introvert like me, it is not suitable for some majors to talk to people, so when I was self-taught, I chose e-commerce operation, which also laid the foundation for me to enter the Internet company later.
Because I had a strong desire to get rid of my original family, I studied very seriously, and after completing all the courses, I changed jobs.
Enter an Internet company and start at the grassroots level.
The new job was the beginning of my radical change.
At that time, I was just an operations specialist, and although the salary was not high, I was very fulfilling every day and always down-to-earth.
During a visit to a client with a colleague, I met my husband Li Jun.
He was the marketing manager of a technology company, and at that time, he happened to come to our company to purchase products, and the leader arranged for me and other colleagues to negotiate with him.
The cooperation was very pleasant, and Li Jun and I also began to have in-depth contact after exchanging contact information.
There is a saying: "Sometimes love is not marriage, fit is marriage." ”
It is true that Li Jun and I belong to the kind that is just right and the three views are in tune.
He told me he grew up in a divorced family and followed his mother. Although his father gave him material compensation, he did not give him love.
Therefore, from a young age, he was determined to try to make his mother live a good life, and after finding the right person, he would give the other party a warm home.
When he confessed to me, he said I was the one he was looking for.
At the time, I was very touched and worried that he would not accept my family.
Therefore, I told Li Jun the truth about my situation, and he said, don't worry so much, after I marry him, he will protect me.
Under his promise, I also accepted Li Jun's love.
Later, the two families talked about our marriage together, and after my parents knew that Li Jun had a car and a house, they did not consult with me, and directly proposed a high-priced dowry of 20,000 yuan.
I was a little angry at the moment, because many cases of not getting to the end because of the bride price abounded.
I didn't want to miss my true love, I wanted to turn my face with my parents, who knew that Li Jun stopped me and actually agreed to come down.
At this time, I was not only a little blindfolded, but also moved by Li Jun's deep affection for me.
Therefore, under the witness of everyone, Li Jun and I married.
3, my brother wanted my husband to buy him a car, and I turned my face on the spot
After marriage, I wanted to get the bride price back from my parents, because they didn't intend to give me the appearance at all.
I told Li Jun my thoughts, and he told me: "Although your parents have less love for you, they gave birth to you after all, and this money can be regarded as your filial piety to them." ”
In the face of Li Jun's tolerance, I can't use any words to express my gratitude, I only hope to use my love to repay his redemption of me.
Therefore, I took Li Jun as my driving force to move forward, and stepped into the position of operation supervisor step by step.
And my dowry money was also squandered by my parents as a down payment on my brother's house.
Two years after I married Li Jun, my brother also graduated from college.
At that time, although he had a bachelor's degree, under the unprincipled protection of his parents, he became a high-scoring and incompetent college student in the eyes of most people.
I found several jobs just, either because I had little money or because I felt too tired.
Later, his salary could not meet the rent, and his parents had to take money from the family to subsidize him.
For this brother, I did not have the slightest sense of affection, and even felt that as long as he did not come to trouble me and interfere with my married life, everything would be fine.
However, the more you are afraid of something, the more you will come.
Later, after my brother asked me to introduce him to a job, he said that the place where he lived was too far from where he worked, and asked me to buy him a car.
However, since I was with Li Jun, I didn't feel that I should live for my brother, so I refused.
Who knew that the younger brother did not spare, and naturally said: "Sister, the brother-in-law is so rich, you let him send me two cars." ”
I immediately had a showdown with him: "He's not our dad, you've graduated from college, you should rely on yourself for everything!" ”
My brother never thought that I, who had always tolerated him, would refuse his request.
However, now that I am married and have worked for many years, I have long since escaped the shadow left on me by my original family.
The bondage of the original family to me may have ended when my parents asked Li Jun for a 20,000 bride price.
As the saying goes: "Refuse when you should refuse, turn your face when you should turn your face, and unreserved kindness will only drag yourself down." ”
I strongly agree with that.
I should have had my own life, not been living in the abyss of the past. I think it's good for everyone to make it clear to my brother.
And this is also the courage that Li Jun gave me.
Xiaoyuan's message: In this world, there has never been a natural love.
Any relationship that only gives and doesn't get, there is no need to last.
As women, we should first learn to love ourselves and then love others.
Sometimes, we may not be able to choose our own origins, but we can choose our own future.
Perhaps, some hurt cannot be erased for a while, but as long as you can be warm-hearted, then you will definitely meet the person who is full of you and blow away the dust in your heart for you.
For the rest of your life, may all you encounter love and encourage!
Topic: What do you think of Yang Li and her brother?
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