*Title source: Question 3 of this issue of Micro-Q&A
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Question 1
Keyword: being proposed
Boyfriend from divorced family/only child, 20, undergraduate student. Grew up with my mom. As a child, when he was five years old, he found out that his father had children outside and did not tell his mother. After separating from his father, his boyfriend and mother emigrated overseas and have not seen his father for three years. Boyfriend: Fifth grade immigrant.
I am not alone, I have a younger brother, 23, Ph.D. candidate. Both families have relative wealth freedom.
We both went abroad in high school and studied in international schools. We both came from an undergraduate school, but we didn't know each other as undergraduates.
The two of us met next door on a plane in New York this summer and soon decided to get together. He used to study at another school, but in order to stay with me, he took half a semester off and transferred to my school. He made this decision, and his tuition became $20,000 a year. My mom didn't approve of him transferring because she felt I owed him a lot emotionally after he made such a decision.
My boyfriend recently proposed to me (the legal age of marriage in our state in the United States is 18). I felt relieved after discussing it with my parents.
My parents disagreed, thinking that we were both too young, and they also felt that each other did not know each other's native families well. Because of the epidemic, they have not seen their parents.
I want to ask the doll, how do you think we can overcome my parents' resistance to get married? (I arranged for my parents to fly in January)
And, will people with incomplete families of origin be more eager to enter marriage? How can I make a sincere move similar to moving to your city/university like my boyfriend in this relationship?
answer
Since this boy is so sincere, you can accept his marriage proposal and enter into marriage as soon as possible.
If you want to convince your parents, you can be tough, and if necessary, you can even pretend that you seem to be pregnant, although your parents may scold you, but they can also accept your boyfriend faster and agree to your marriage.
However, what needs to be reminded is that although your relationship is currently developing relatively smoothly, there is a three-year age difference between you and your boyfriend after all, and if you want this sibling relationship to be stable for a long time, you have to tolerate him and be considerate of him like a general boyfriend to his girlfriend.
In addition, working hard to become his interpreter, giving him more emotional value, and sharing what you have with him, this is the more sincere action you say in the question. Do all this well, and you will be better able to hold the relationship.
As for your question, "Will people with incomplete families of origin be more eager to enter marriage?" This is not necessarily true, there are many people who are unhappy in their original families and are afraid of marriage. Like your boyfriend's case, it is more likely that his attributes themselves are more yearning for marriage, so he is willing to give the sincerity of long-term choices early.
Take advantage of it and good luck!
Question 2
Keywords: female anchor
Hello baby sister! I have been following you for more than a year, and I will benefit a lot from listening to each Q&A, and I look forward to choosing! Thank you very much for helping us answer our questions! Gratitude ❤️
Male 28, 168 weighs 82kg, not alone, monthly income of 12,000, not at home for most of the time due to work every month, temper is irritable and impulsive, love to play games, about 1 to 2,000 a month spent on games, do not like to do housework, but I will be diligent when my income is high, and I will show off with friends.
Female 25, 167 Now the second child weighs 58kg 6 months after delivery, not alone, with a baby, has a side business, and has a monthly income of 3-8,000.
We are all in town, with a son and a daughter-in-law to help, when I was out of confinement, I looked at my husband's mobile phone and found that he gave more than a thousand tips to a game little female anchor on Kuaishou, their chat records felt that some words were not right, the time was during my second pregnancy to the end of my delivery, I don't know if I deleted or not, asked in person about the vagueness of the explanation, we quarreled, in fact, I couldn't argue with him at all.
That night I took the child back to my mother's house, and he later admitted his mistake and picked me up. When I came back and saw that the records of his mobile phone were all gone, I didn't pursue it, and I didn't want to keep holding it.
But today I found a tipping record! It doesn't seem to be the original anchor, and the amount is not large, but he deliberately deleted everything and uninstalled it, and he didn't even pay attention, but I still found out...
At present, I haven't asked my husband and said nothing, what is my husband's psychology? How do I do it properly, am I a stone cloth? After reading it patiently, ask Sister Wa for guidance! thanksgiving
answer
Your husband is a polydol, and you can't take him.
After you first found out that your husband rewarded the female anchor, you had a fight, and then took the child back to her mother's house, "later he admitted his mistake and took me back", that is, your husband only provided a little emotional value to coax you back. And the reason why you "didn't pursue it, don't want to keep holding on" is not that you don't want to, but that you don't dare, and you are worried that digging deeper will destroy the relationship.
When you find out again that your husband is tipping the female anchor, the reaction is "I haven't asked my husband at present, I haven't said anything", which further confirms what was said earlier, you are reluctant and can't leave this relationship, and you are afraid that after questioning your husband again, he may directly let you out of the relationship.
Since this is the case, it is recommended that you put more energy into yourself and practice well. If you stare at him every day, he will not change, and after a long time, it may be rotten, and the matter of polyidity will be raised to the bright side, and then you will be more uncomfortable. Think carefully about where the root of the problem is, since you can't do without him, change it well and see if there is a chance to save the relationship. Let him not cheat in the future.
Old fans advanced
Question 3
Keywords: cancellation of license
Hello baby sister, I have been following you for a long time since Weibo, from your online store to beauty brands until now. Now if you encounter a question, I hope to get your answer.
I, 93,165 104, within the system. The retirement age of the parents is slightly older. It should be cloth stone. There was a 6-year long-distance relationship, the other party contributed money and emotional value, and finally I chose to break up because of the lack of solution in the long distance (the two crossed provinces and places in the system). High success rate of blind dates.
Male, 91,170 130, bank. 1 sister is unmarried, and her parents have a pension in a small business. Both cloth and stone properties are very obvious. Have less than a year of blind date experience. Honestly looking for me because I am beautiful.
We know each other on a blind date in fourth-tier cities, each has a house and a loan, and his house is not named. In the early days of blind dates, he said that he was not used to letting women manage money. In the process of advancing the marriage, the bride price was reduced from 18.8 to 12.8, and then it was raised to 15.8;
At present, he pays out communication expenses, he does housework, and he takes the initiative to contact him on a daily basis. In the process of promoting the license, he always thought that I was not positive enough and felt that I did not sincerely marry him.
Originally planned to get the license today, last night picked up the video he felt that I was not positive enough to put on his face, in fact, I didn't, explained that he has not believed and spoke viciously, today's collection arrangement is canceled. Is it necessary to continue, and how can I adjust the criteria for choosing a mate?
Second, is it difficult for me to meet Chang Zai and descendants if my character attributes miss? How should I improve if I continue to be together. Concealment with a license.
(Swipe left and right to see more)
answer
Girl, you may indeed be a cloth stone, but not the kind of "rich and status cloth stone", but "a very cloth stone", this is about your attributes, the best possibility.
But have you ever thought that you are more likely to be a stone cloth, because you really don't look ugly, you can only be considered ordinary, that is, the middle and lower level, and the outer cloth is not so strong.
To sum up, you are a person who has no advantages in appearance and does not have a very likable personality.
Then, he "frankly said that he is looking for you because you are beautiful", and if you believe this, you will fall into the trap of the other party.
On our platform, there is a very interesting thing, that is, some girls will say "boys find me because I am beautiful", but I don't know why, their real MVs have not reached a medium level.
Another interesting thing is that none of the girls whose appearance exceeds the middle and upper classes in our submissions here has said the phrase "boys look for me because I am beautiful".
Beauty is a very intuitive thing. Beautiful girls, since childhood, there is no lack of praise, others casually praise, will not pay attention to it at all. But those girls who are usually not praised, at most in the "commercial mutual praise" praised for their good looks, once a boy says "looking for you because you are beautiful", they will always remember it in their hearts and write it in the submission to emphasize.
At this time, what you want to think about should be, "What is his intention when he beats me like this?" ”
But I guess you're most likely thinking, "How come he has a unique eye and sees my beauty?" ”
Coupled with your strong speech, what "coaxing is a must, and as soon as possible and on the same day", it is simply choking the throat of the other party and saying "kneel down and spit out the emotional value to me and offer it with both hands", it is really terrible! (Source of the title of this issue)
Not only is it uncomfortable for men to live with such girls, but we outsiders also feel uncomfortable when they see it. The reason why this man keeps haggling and making you uncomfortable is that he hopes to arch the fire to make you quit automatically, because he subconsciously doesn't want to be with you. To be honest, not only him, men all over the world will be afraid when they see your words, they will not want to marry you, they will want to run away.
Having developed a character at this point, you can give too little in marriage, ask for too much, and can only make a trade-off between long-term choices and having offspring. I have seen people in a similar situation to you, finding a man who cannot have children or does not want to have children, such a man can give a long-term choice out of guilt; But if you ask for offspring, there is basically no possibility of long-term choice.
For a child with poor learning ability, you can't ask him to pass both subjects. Choosing a mate is like a short bath towel that covers the top and can't cover the bottom, and if you can cover the bottom, you can't cover the top. You have to be mentally prepared.
Born not, I didn't study in the middle of the term, and now it's almost time for the exam, and you want to catch up with the progress of other students in one go, this is your situation. To be realistic, you belong to the last 20% of our platform, and you are much worse in all aspects. Choosing a mate now is like going fishing, but there's a big hole in the net, and you can't catch any fish. So you have to find the reason from yourself, stop talking like a leader every day, all kinds of things, all kinds of requirements kneeling, all kinds of scares men away.
Other girls learn emotions and never become likable. But you learn emotions to first go from being annoying to being unlikable, but at least not annoying.
The road is blocked and long, come on.
Question 4
Keywords: whether to divorce or not
When I was in college, I began to pay attention to dolls, but my understanding was extremely poor, and I came to the dilemma now, hoping to be drawn and asking for doll guidance.
Husband: 92 years, height 175, weight 90KG, alone, no house and no car in rural areas, sales, high emotional intelligence, lack of financial intelligence, failed entrepreneurship, currently in debt of more than 1 million, working in a new first-tier city, going home on weekends;
Me: 92 years, height 165, weight 48KG, fourth-tier cities in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, low emotional intelligence, annual income of 300,000, family assets of more than 10 million, living with my parents on weekdays, returning to my new home on weekends.
My husband and I were college classmates, he was handsome and could sing, and he pursued being together for 5 months. After graduating, he joined the company and worked in sales in my factory, because we had a lot of entertainment, we quarreled frequently, so he went to start a business.
Since college, he has cheated countless times, both mentally and physically, I was very immature before, and I have been asking for love, and the PU of this relationship between me and my family has always been very high.
In recent years, I have begun to learn and reflect, whether this relationship is to go or stay, stay in this relationship I worry that he was like this when he was still young, if he has money in the future, he will be divorced and retaliated, if he is in debt in the future, his daughter will also be affected, and finally he will have to divorce;
Leaving this relationship, I am worried that with the cloth sex of our family, it will be difficult to find someone to accompany in the future, and it will be unnecessary to find a scissors, and I can't accept the particularly old age in my heart, and I am worried that I can't handle the complicated second marriage relationship.
If you divorce will have a baby, you can treat both sides, whether to go or stay can be accepted, ask the doll to give a suggestion, thank you very much
answer
You sent four photos, not a single photo of the boy, the boy appeared in the photo of your family of three, and your single photo has two, accounting for half of all the photos. There are you dressed smartly, photographed in front of an office building, and you are elegantly dressed, wearing sunglasses, wearing a shiny skirt to participate in the event. From the photos you sent, you can also see your husband's status in your heart.
Since he entered your family, the relationship originally began as a clipper, it is unreasonable for you to expect him to make money, which is also the fundamental reason why he went to start a business. You may as well ask him if he is willing to go out and start a business, find a stress-free class, and you will support him.
This is the route of female cloth cutting and male stone cutting, which is the path that the two of you should take, and it is also the direction where the relationship is likely to develop for a long time. It depends on how much stone he still has and whether he is willing to accept this kind of plan.
If he doesn't want to, let him go, look at you like this, and don't be willing to make stone cloth. If you cut the cloth and cut it, it will be difficult for the relationship to last.
Question 5
Keywords: the child's last name
Female 33, height 162, 53kg non-independent, undergraduate, within the system, annual income 9w, has a sister
Male 34, height 168, 70kg non-unique, junior college, state-owned enterprise annual income of 15w, four brothers
Self-assessment is average, he looks better than me, I am more impatient, he is emotionally stable, and he goes home directly after work every day. I usually go shopping for a vegetable and take something together. The mobile phone and card password are told that the car room is willing to add the name, and the car 20w full name I refused to say that my brother's hard-earned money should have a car of his own (I have one), and the house has not yet paid the name has not been added.
The baby that my parents intended to give birth to was the first to have my surname. At first, he only agreed that the girl had my surname, and finally compromised, and the bride price was 6.6w. I knew that this owed him and agreed that he would take his surname for his grandson.
Active facial maintenance, braces movement to maintain MV. Colleague introduced to know a year of engagement, at the end of March this year to get the certificate originally planned to hold a wedding, y love special his family in the provinces, I braced my teeth did not take wedding photos and other reasons, the wedding has been postponed to the end of the year, the current situation is unknown, the MV after the braces drop, easy to be anxious, see him unhurried, it is easy to make peace with him
During the period of pregnancy, the older crisis wanted to get pregnant early, did a lot of tests, he originally said to go with the flow, see me crying urgently, said that I didn't go pregnant after half a year, the test results are not a big problem, I also tried to make myself not anxious through actions, but the results were small.
How to calm the anxiety in the heart, not to destroy our feelings by asking for a price, tired and intelligent baby sisters and assistants, whether they are drawn or not, they are very grateful!
answer
The boy who can agree with the child and the woman's surname, and there are four brothers in front, the scission is definitely not low, in this case, he will either give the child very little in the future, or he will go out to make up for it.
It's like you beat up a person, but he still smiles at you, which is unreasonable in itself, there must be something strange behind it, maybe one day you will push off the cliff, right?
From you said, "The baby that my parents intend to give birth to is the first to have my surname." At first, he only agreed that the girl had my surname, and finally compromised, and the bride price was 6.6w. I knew that this owed him and agreed that he would take his surname for his grandson. "Look, you understand in your heart that because of the child's surname problem and the man's strong shear, your relationship may not be stable enough, plus your marriage date is delayed again and again, and the "current situation is unknown", and the other party is "unhurried", so you are anxious to ask him for a price. All this is very normal, it is instinct that drives you to test the stability of the relationship through this extreme method, but this test method will not work at the moment, and the crisis of the relationship will only be exposed after you are really pregnant or after giving birth.
Having said that, hopefully you can understand exactly what to do.