*Title source: Question 1 of this issue of Micro-Q&A
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Question 1
Keywords: 2 million in debt
Thank you very much for Sister Wa's previous bitter heart, find a reason for yourself, have little experience before, live in my own fantasy, can't listen to what Sister Wa's said, feel special, have been educated by reality, find that Sister Wa's is telling the truth, and also plan to go to offline classes after the epidemic passes. Now there is a problem I still want to trouble the baby sister to solve the confusion, it doesn't matter if I draw it or not,
A few days before I got the license, I found out that he owed more than 2 million yuan before he started a business with me, they didn't tell me, I think this is a matter of principle, angry and ignore him, I know that if he doesn't owe money, he won't find an object like me, I hope he apologizes sincerely, I still continue with him, he didn't apologize properly, saying how difficult it is for him to hope that I understand him, saying that he was good to me before
Now occasionally send flowers and soup, do something innocuous, I will share with him, now it has been more than 2 months, he still hangs my photo avatar, occasionally sends me things, I call him not to send it, I am so afraid that I will be soft hearted and be with my ex again, every time I see what he sends, I cry my heart and lungs, and now I am also in contact with a boy and I am afraid that he will know, how can I get my ex to give up on me and start a new life.
answer
"A few days before I got my license, I found out that he owed more than 2 million yuan before he started a business with me, and they didn't tell me",
Generally, when a girl encounters this situation, she will be glad that she found this big pit in time and quickly take a taxi and run. But what about you, your attitude turned out to be "angry and ignore him... I hope that he will apologize sincerely, I will continue with him", to put it bluntly, you just want the other party to kneel to you, and then you are willing to bear the debt of more than 2 million yuan with him. (Source of the title of this issue)
You are so greedy for emotional value that you can even endure more than 2 million debts for a little emotional value. Although you say, "I know that if he doesn't owe money, he won't look for someone like me", then you know that you are climbing the other party, why do you insist on going your own way, is this debt of more than 2 million yuan not enough to make you retreat?
Are you "educated by reality and found that Sister Wawa is telling the truth", you are clearly not educated miserably enough. Do you have to wait until after marriage, have been living with huge debts, riddled with lawsuits, listed as a dishonest executor, and hiding everywhere, will you regret not starting out?
You and your ex separated, don't worry about him anymore, although he "still hangs my photo avatar and occasionally sends me things", but this is only temporary, he will soon like other girls, once he finds a suitable person to help him pay off the debt, he will immediately replace your avatar and will not contact you again.
And do you think he has no contact with other girls now, and he won't open a second WeChat account? Even if he keeps using this WeChat and keeps hanging your avatar, it doesn't prevent him from going out to tease his sister at all. He can say that his avatar is an ex-girlfriend, and although his ex-girlfriend has failed him, he has always missed her and can't let her go. Do you know how many girls will be attracted to this kind of infatuated boy, and how many girls will be willing to rush to this kind of infatuated boy?
You stop "living in your own fantasy... Feel special" and take yourself too seriously. The boy's mate selection period is long, and your departure will have no effect on him at all.
On the contrary, you, the girl's mate selection period is very short, you quickly focus on yourself. All you have to do now is throw away everything your ex gave you, delete the block, stop having any contact with him, cut off the stimulus, and then let time smooth it all out.
Your age should not be young, there is not much time left for you, and now it is not him who is anxious to find a partner, but yourself. I hope you can really listen to what I say this time and get lost. Adjust to your condition and dedicate yourself to reaching out to new boys. I wish you to find a real good person soon.
Question 2
Keyword: divorce
Female: 32, non-independent, specialist. Retirement from parent institutions. 22 years resigned due to divorce turmoil, annual income 10. Usually 20. 160。 96 pounds
Male: 32, independent, undergraduate. Parents have low rural incomes. Annual income 35. 173,160 pounds Graduated from college and met and got married.
He has been married for eight years. Childless. The man in the marriage room is out, and the woman is out of the decoration. The majority of household expenses during the marriage are borne by the man. Most of the man's efforts are in the family.
Reasons for divorce:
20-22 years have been bursting PU. Disliked him for earning little money and his family was poor. He earns less than me in 20-22 years. In 21-22, he spent the whole year quarreling and divorce, and he humbly asked for peace many times. In the end, due to the appearance of the interpretation flower, he was completely divorced. Three-quarters of the property goes to me. After the divorce, the entanglement was fruitless. Very determined, all contact information has been blocked.
In December 22, I took the initiative to contact and say that they each lived for a while, and thought about it. After that, he blacked me out, saying that he still couldn't get over the hurdle in his heart, and he didn't feel anything about me.
(I fell in love with Yuhua in my heart, but Xie Yuhua had children in marriage) and I got back together to relieve financial pressure.
After December pulling until now, I feel that he is very stressed, up and down. Now because I burst the pu again asked for the separation. I don't want to give a little bit to me right now. I'm always struggling so I burst the pu.
Questions:
Thinking that he is high and climbing, whether he should continue to seek peace.
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answer
You say "self-recognized high climb", but judging from your description, you do not have the attitude of self-recognition high climbing.
If you think that Gao Pan is high, how can you be "married for eight years now" but "childless";
If you consider yourself high, how can you "burst the pu all the time." dislike that he earns little money and his family is poor";
If you think of yourself as high, how can you let him "humble and seek peace many times";
You "have been bursting PU for 20-22 years", "21-22 years have been quarreling and divorce all year long", and you also "resigned due to the divorce turmoil", which shows how explosive your PU is, how fierce and long you divorced, but even so, after the divorce, the man still gave you three-quarters of his property.
Although you may say that he is cruel and "very determined, all contact information has been blocked" after the divorce, in fact, he did not continue to entangle with you, did not short-term you, did not delay your time, did not drag you and then went out to engage in junior, but resolutely let you have a way of life, which is not good, but it is already good.
You are now 32 years old and out of a marriage, and in your current state, you can still find short-term choices, and it is not easy to find long-term choices again. In two or three years, you will further appreciate the cruelty of the marriage market, and at that time, even people who want to choose you for a short time may no longer be available.
Now you ask "do you want to continue to seek peace", since you think that you are high, then how did the other party humble you before to make peace, how do you humbly ask for peace from him. The underlying pattern of human behavior is one report for another.
Old fans advanced
Question 3
Keyword: going abroad
Hello baby sister ~ grateful for the sharing of the public number and the sister of the big planet platform ~ benefited a lot
female 28,166,94 pounds, alone;
Male 32,183,160 pounds, alone;
The home is the same third-tier city, all overseas master's degrees, has always been abroad.
In the middle of the year, he broke up and said that he didn't love me, but the next day he regretted chatting with me from time to time, until he returned to China at the end of the year, wanting to meet his parents and plan the future of the two. But my parents were originally dissatisfied with my previous resignation and went abroad to find him at my own expense (I think he let me not spend money on me in the past and did not identify me, but his financial situation at that time was really bad, and all I said to my parents were good things about him)
Coupled with knowing that he broke up with me in the middle of the year, I felt that even if his family conditions were not good, they recognized him because I liked it and recognized him as very good, but I couldn't do it if I didn't love me well, and I felt that I promised to be too unproductive when he came back to me.
Mom and Dad are very determined not to let the two of us contact again, only if he returns to China to stabilize can he find me again, I told him that my parents just want to see him love me well (Mom and Dad are very emotional), he feels that wanting to marry me is the greatest sincerity, he wants to try to see my parents again to talk about the benefits of abroad, but I'm afraid that my mother won't give him face, if there is no middle breakup, parents may agree to me go abroad with him, but things are difficult now
I want to ask the doll sister how to make my parents accept him again, the more I say that he is good, the more angry my parents are and think I am stupid, but I don't want him to be misunderstood, after all, my parents have never gotten along with him, and going abroad to develop is indeed the best solution for the two of us now.
Whether you win the draw or not, thank you in advance ~~
answer
You said that "going abroad is indeed the best solution for the two of us now", which is true, and this is the only way for you and this boy to enter the long term.
You look plain, the picture of Universal Studios in the background (the only one without filter beauty marks) can see that your facial muscles are sagging badly, you look very old, and many photos are dressed very old, not at all like 28 years old.
With your MV, if you don't completely lower your spirit, it's not easy to choose a mate at home, and only in foreign countries, your kind of stone cloth will be more popular with foreigners.
And now this guy is interested in marrying you because he is still overseas. Domestic boys are overseas, especially in countries where men cut women's cloth, they can't cut local boys, so the choice is generally not high, and it will be relatively difficult to find a girlfriend. But as long as they return to China, their shear advantages will be highlighted, and their choice will be greatly improved.
Therefore, if your boyfriend returns to China and stabilizes, he will most likely not look for you again, there are too many beautiful girls in China, and he has too many options.
In summary, if you can go abroad together to develop and go to an environment where you have higher choices and the other party has lower choices, then you are more likely to get married.
However, it should be reminded that even if you successfully enter into marriage, it will be difficult for you to get single-mindedness in the relationship. Your boyfriend originally "mentioned breaking up and said he didn't love me", and later "felt that wanting to marry me was the greatest sincerity", to put it bluntly, he was dissatisfied with your MV on the one hand, and on the other hand, he took a fancy to your PU.
Therefore, paying a long-term choice is indeed his greatest sincerity, as for the rest, you and your parents expect the concentration of feelings, extremely precious single-mindedness, he can not give you, you have to do this psychological expectation, and to eliminate this hidden danger as the goal of lifelong efforts.
Finally, here to say more, girls with heavy cloth, I sincerely suggest that you can consider the road of choosing a mate abroad, you are a female cloth, it is more suitable to go to a place with higher requirements for girls' cloth, you will be more comfortable, and it is easier to find official matches, why not?
In addition, there are other places suitable for girls with heavy sex to find objects, which will not be revealed here, see you in the planet of knowledge.
Question 4
Keywords: driver's license
Hello dear baby sister, I am your old fan for many years, I have always followed your theory, there are houses and cars in first-tier cities, children are complete, and life is happy. Thank you very much Sister Doll. There is a question that has puzzled me for a long time, and I hope that Sister Wa can win it.
My husband was 1988, 168 tall, weighed 130 pounds, typical cloth, can earn money, but is controlling, temperamental, basically listen to him
I was 1990, stone, 155 tall, 82 pounds, gentle at home, and more obedient to him
He is also very protective of me, there are no requirements for me to work, but it is better not to go to work, housework cooking, I have not done much in ten years of marriage, and he does not require me to learn, that is, there are some requirements for children to learn.
The problem now is that I want to get a driver's license, but he strongly opposes, feels that this is not what women should do, thinks it is very dangerous, is a road killer on the road, and usually looks down on female drivers.
May I ask Sister Doll, should I follow my heart or listen to him?
answer
Your husband "will earn money", "he is also very protective of me, no requirements for my work", correspondingly, then he will definitely be "controlling, temperamental, basically listen to him", this is the typical A and B side of the cloth man.
"I want to get a driver's license, but he strongly opposes, feels that this is not what women should do, thinks it is very dangerous, is a road killer on the road, and usually looks down on female drivers", your husband's attitude is also very suitable for the attributes of cloth men.
On the one hand, the cloth man's requirements for his partner are strong in stone, and your husband does not care whether you work or not, but hopes that you will live at home obediently, so he thinks that you do not need to test for a driver's license. And he believes that danger is also a manifestation of your desire to protect;
On the other hand, men's cloth is not accustomed to women's cloth, feel that their ability is not as good as men's cloth, and also like to wander around to increase the radius of activity, to say that it is ugly is to increase the chance of meeting the opposite sex. This PU explosion behavior, the cloth man naturally can't accept it;
Therefore, if you want to get a driver's license, in your husband's heart, it is a manifestation of cloth, and it is no wonder that he is strongly opposed.
You ask, "Should I follow my heart, or should I listen to him", so to speak, if you follow your heart, to put it bluntly, you are letting yourself go, then your husband is only about three years away from cheating. But if you pull back from the precipice and don't make it, then you may delay the occurrence of cheating and make your marriage a little longer and more stable.
Why do you say that? Because your husband is 35 years old and you are 33 years old, your relationship is in a very important transition stage. Regardless of the fact that you want to get a driver's license, you will already face a lot of potential emotional crises.
For so many years, in your relationship, your husband has been making a deal, but you have not come out well. And you are young, good-looking, even if you do not perform the duties of the stone well, you have been treated well, but have you ever thought, "housework cooking, I have not done much in ten years of marriage", how many stone debts do you owe in these ten years? A cooking + housekeeping aunt in a first-tier city, how to say 10,000 yuan a month, a year is 120,000, ten years later, it is a full 1.2 million.
Moreover, you are already 33 years old, and in two or three years, three or five years, you will no longer be young, no longer beautiful, you will only gradually grow old and deteriorate, and your fertility will gradually decrease until you completely lose it.
On the one hand, the debt owed by the lack of stone is getting more and more, and on the other hand, the external shear is constantly draining, it can be said that the foundation of your life in this relationship is almost exhausted. In this case, your husband, a core cloth man who is in the period of male competition and has a tendency to have multiple couples, is easy to cheat and make amends.
And now, you still want to "follow your heart" and let your cloth nature begin to expand, then your marriage, I can only use an idiom to describe it, it is called - precarious.
If you compare your marriage to a ship that has fallen into disrepair and is barely sailing at sea, and now there is still a storm, do you say that this ship will be prone to capsizing? It must be easy, right?
You sent a total of three single photos of you, on the boat, on the bridge, on the chair, it is obvious that your face has begun to spread, cheekbones are gradually protruding, and there are slight buck teeth, just like the actress surnamed D who was on the hot search and the ex-husband century reconciliation not long ago, her face has changed from young to now.
Therefore, if you want to maintain your marriage, you must be very, very careful, and work hard from now on, polish the stone nature, maintain the shear nature, and restrain the cloth sex.
Fortunately, your husband is not very tall, if you can do your best to keep your marriage for another 5 years, when your husband reaches 40, your marriage will not be so easily threatened by the mistress in the future, if you still hope that your husband will not go out to seek a paid short-term relationship, then you need to work harder.
The storm is coming, step up your cultivation!
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