Material/ From a real interview (told by someone)
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My name is Huang Xiaoyi, I graduated from a key normal university in China, and later worked in a senior high school in Shenzhen Special Economic Zone, where I first taught the first year of high school for two years, and then taught the key class of the third year of high school.
For four consecutive years, I have taken the key classes of the third year of high school, all of which have achieved excellent results in the entrance examination, so I have been repeatedly commended by the school, and even at the age of 28, I have won the title of Provincial Outstanding People's Teacher.
I also became a year leader and was given an intermediate title.
In the eyes of others, my career as a teacher can be said to have a limitless future, and even my parents and relatives think that I will definitely become a principal in the future, or at least a vice principal.
However, when it comes to relationships, I am so frustrated.
The first thing to say is that I am really a very good beauty teacher, perhaps because I am too beautiful and too good, but it makes me quite unhappy on the road to marriage.
I was born in Tohoku, so I'm tall and my skin is very fair.
I'm not tall in my family, but I'm also 1.71 meters, and among southerners, even men, are generally shorter than me, not to mention, the shoes I wear also have a little small heels, so it's not easy to find a man who is taller than me, or at least as tall as me.
And most traditional men don't pursue women who are taller than them, and I am good-looking, so they feel inferior and discouraged.
If there are men who pursue me, I only feel that they don't really want to develop with me to the point of marriage, they just want to take advantage of me, I can see the minds of such men, and naturally I don't want these men to have the opportunity to get close to me.
When I was in college, I had a first love, but after he graduated, he had to go to the north, and after half a year in a different place, he had a new relationship there, so he proposed to me to break up, I accepted it calmly, and blessed him, but in fact, I cried a lot, and I couldn't get out for a long time.
Immediately after that, I had a five-year window period, on the one hand, I focused on my teaching work, I just wanted to be a good teacher, and the only thing I thought about was to improve the students' grades, so I ignored my own love and relationship problems.
On the other hand, I only feel that it is difficult to find a suitable partner for me in the middle school I am in, and there are many beautiful teachers in this school, and they also regard marriage as a big problem.
And when I was twenty-eight years old, I obviously felt that I had become an older generation of female teachers, and those young female teachers had a much better advantage than me in choosing a mate, even if they were not as beautiful as me, but after all, they were only twenty-three or four years old, a few years younger than me, and for women, being young was really invincible.
In a certain year, the school began to recruit new students, and absorbed a group of normal graduates, all of whom were from key normal universities, namely six men and four women, and after the internship expired, they officially became teachers of the school.
Among them, there is a physical education teacher, who looks very muscular, handsome, and has a fairly uniform figure, which makes our old female teachers, who have not been married for many years, shine.
His name is Cheng Zhiyang, a normal student who has just graduated, so we all know his age, only twenty-three years old.
Perhaps because he often exercises and studies this profession, he is always full of sunny sports.
I have never had a good impression of sports students, when I was in college, I felt that those sports students had no connotation, and the temperament was very grinning, in contrast, I preferred liberal arts students, because I myself read Chinese education, I only think that with such boys, can better communicate and discuss.
But Cheng Zhiyang, a young physical education teacher, is very different from other physical education teachers, he wears a rimless glasses, which matches a healthy complexion, and is quite temperamental, so it gives people a feeling of both civil and military.
What's more, he is really a top student in the Normal University, and in terms of conversation, you can also hear that he is a very cultured, cultivated and profound man, and he simply has a charm that is difficult for women to resist.
I first noticed him just because of his appearance, and I ran into him several times in the school cafeteria.
But when he greeted me and passed by, I was disappointed.
He looked up from a distance and seemed to be quite tall, but his actual height was only about 1.68 meters, which was a little shorter than me anyway.
I thought to myself, such a little height difference, I can accept it myself.
But as a physical education teacher, will he find someone who is a little taller than him?
Probably not.
This may be a matter of face, after all, if he walks with his object and makes him look short, what will others think of him, and will he laugh at him? Even the students in the school may see this as a joke.
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but sigh in my heart.
Just thinking about it, this Cheng Zhiyang is the only one that can make me look at and feel excited for so many years, but he may be more suitable for another woman, I can't count on it.
What's more, I'm five years older than him, which is even more unlikely, and I still have some self-knowledge.
Although I asked myself that I might be able to attract him with my personal feminine charm, I estimated that even if he took me back to his house and his parents, his parents might not like me or even accept me because of the age difference.
In addition, I have nothing to do with him in my usual teaching work, he is in the physical education group, teaching freshmen in high school, and I am leading the key class of senior high school.
The only time I could see him was in the school cafeteria, where all our teaching was in the same place, but at this time, there were many female teachers, who also looked at him secretly, and even some female teachers, quite actively approached him and talked to him.
I asked myself if I couldn't lose this integrity and dignity, how could I be so disrespectful?
Therefore, I even deliberately sat far away, not wanting to see him talking warmly with the other female teachers, and feeling jealous.
However, what I didn't expect was that God seemed to be deliberately arranging a coincidental fate so that I could have a chance to intersect with him.
In the third grade of high school I took, there was a physical education teacher who took the physical examination to promote to college, but the physical education teacher had to ask for leave from the school because of an illness.
One of them is an old teacher in his fifties, and the other is Cheng Zhiyang, the new physical education teacher who is only twenty-three years old.
Every week in our grade, there is a meeting of the grade group teachers, and I, as the head of the year group, naturally sit in the main position.
I found that Cheng Zhiyang, who was sitting at the back, looked at me with a kind of admiration or reverence in his eyes.
It gives me a sense of spiritual pleasure.
However, I thought that he just revered me as a female senior, and he did not have a love for me, so why should I be amorous and want to go somewhere else?
After all, I was five years older than him, and as a year leader, I became his superior, so it was only natural that I was revered by him in this way.
But in the following days, Cheng Zhiyang and I really intersected at work, and he wanted to ask me a lot of questions about students' promotion to college, and how to teach students in key classes well, although he didn't have many physical examination candidates.
I am like a senior sister, my advice to him is meticulous guidance, every time he listens to it, he will say to me: "Thank you Sister Xiao for guiding me so patiently!"
When I heard him call me Sister Xiao, I was actually unhappy.
But I only think that this is also very normal, who called me twenty-eight years old, and I am the head of the grade, the male and female teachers who are younger than me, all call me that, I don't recognize the old, I can't do it.
Gradually, Cheng Zhiyang and I had the opportunity to talk to each other, and found that he was really not a hypocrisy.
Not only does he look very cultured, but he also has a lot of ink in his belly, in other words, he knows astronomy and geography, and literature and history are also casually scribbled, which makes me feel ashamed.
I became more and more interested in him, just thinking that he was really good, and that he was my ideal marriage partner, both externally and internally.
I could even say that he was the type of lover of my dreams, and although he was a little shorter than me, it was only a small deficiency that I had to accept, and everything else was perfect.
But as I became more and more fond of him, and my feelings for him became stronger and stronger, my heartfelt sighs became more and more intense.
I only thought that in the school, in fact, there were at least several female teachers who liked him and were already secretly pursuing him, and these female teachers were younger than me, about the same age as him, and therefore more suitable for him than me.
Although I feel that Cheng Zhiyang actually has a good impression of me, I never feel that he is pursuing me.
So, I really shouldn't have any illusions about him, otherwise, I will have to take a few more years, immersed in this unrealistic emotional entanglement, I should find a suitable partner earlier, really fall in love, and then get married, so that it is really rational.
In the end, I made a decision to alienate Zhiyang and let him know that although I was unmarried and single, it was impossible for me to be with him, so I just wanted him not to have any thoughts about me.
However, one day in the next day, because of a small incident, the relationship between me and him, not just staying at the level of colleagues, quietly changed.
At noon on this day, since we had to have a meeting in the section group before the afternoon, after eating, everyone was tired, so they went back to their desks and took a lunch break, instead of going back to the dormitory to sleep as usual.
I went to bed after half an hour and wanted to go outside to the bathroom.
But at this time, I saw Cheng Zhiyang sleeping on his stomach at his desk, and the coat on his body was a little crooked, not completely covering him.
It was the cold weather, and I thought to myself that if he slept like this, he would easily catch a cold, so I couldn't bear it, so I went over and quietly lifted his coat and covered him.
What I didn't expect was that I, though careful not to make a sound at all, woke him up, perhaps sensing a figure behind him.
And when he opened his eyes and saw that it was me, he immediately relaxed, and his eyes were full of gratitude, knowing that I was going to help him cover his coat so that he would not catch a cold.
Since there were other colleagues sleeping in the department, he didn't make a loud noise, but just said to me very softly: "Thank you, Sister Xiao." ”
I smiled and nodded, and whispered to him that it was nothing, that I should do it, and I walked away.
What I didn't expect was that when Cheng Zhiyang got off work that day, when he watched me walk out, he walked beside me and walked with me to the cafeteria, and he said that when I covered him with a coat at noon that day, he thought of someone.
As soon as I heard this, I immediately asked him, who did he think?
I thought he might have told me that I was reminded of some of his ex-girlfriends, or one of his college classmates.
However, there was a heavy light in his eyes and he told me that he remembered his mother, who had died many years ago.
His family was poor when he was a child, and his mother was the most concerned about him, but in the end, his mother died when he was seven years old.
Immediately afterwards, he suddenly broke down emotionally, and his voice became choked, but he was really a manly man, and he could control his out-of-control emotions very well, and no tears flowed out.
I immediately took out a tissue, handed it to him, and said to him, "I'm sorry, Xiao Cheng, I didn't expect it to remind you of such a sad thing in the past." ”
He shook his head vigorously and said to me that I should not apologize to him, but that he should be grateful to me, because at least at that moment, I made him feel the same warmth that he felt so many years ago, the kind of care that no woman can give him, and I was able to make him feel that way again.
I couldn't help but feel a little ridiculous in hindsight.
Just thinking that I actually reminded him of his mother, and made him feel like he had regained his mother's love?
Then he can't fall in love with me.
This shows that he really thinks of me as the older generation in his heart, and how can he see me as a potential target for developing a romantic relationship?
However, what I didn't expect was that in the days that followed, Cheng Zhiyang actually became active with me, often looking for opportunities to get close to me, and giving me some reasons to chat or talk to me, which I could feel.
And the love he showed was a real intention to develop a relationship with me.
One day, when he was looking at no one around, he took a deep breath, and then asked me: "Sister Xiao, you are so beautiful, but you have always been single, is the reason why you want to find a man who is taller than you?"
When I heard this, I immediately laughed, because I thought it was ridiculous, and then I shook my head vigorously, because I really didn't have such thoughts.
Then he asked me, "Can you accept a man who is a little bit shorter than you as your boyfriend? ”
I couldn't help but blush at this moment, but I only thought in my heart that since he had asked such a direct question, then I would answer him directly and say to him, "Yes." ”
Originally, I wanted to see how he would react.
I really didn't expect him to undo it like untying a knot in his heart that he hadn't untied for a long time.
Apparently he has low self-esteem because of his height, or maybe because he feels that his height is not worthy of me, so he has not dared to confess anything to me.
I couldn't help but ask him at this moment, "Can you accept a sister who is a few years older than you as your partner? Would you marry a woman older than you?"
He nodded his head without hesitation when I asked, indicating that he didn't mind the age at all.
At that moment, I was so excited that my heart beat faster, and he was also such a performance, I could hear the sound of breathing.
As a result, when he looked around at no one, he plucked up the courage to propose to me, he wanted to be my object, so as to fall in love with me, and he was sincere, he was already in love with me, and he had feelings for me all these times, and he wanted to be my life partner, really married, and then start a family.
I was at a loss for a moment, I just felt that his confession of love came too suddenly, and I was completely unprepared.
Although I am indeed looking forward to this moment in my heart, I am also ecstatic because of his confession of love.
However, my heart was quite entangled, and I also had a lot of worries and doubts, which were always difficult to solve, so as to convince myself to accept his love.
Although I know that this show of affection by him is to show his sincerity, and he is determined to talk to me about a fruitful relationship, so as to talk about the step of marriage.
But I always felt that I was not the most suitable person for him, and I was afraid that he would regret it one day.
So finally I let out a sigh and turned around and didn't face him.
I said in a helpless voice: "Xiao Cheng, do you know what you are talking about? I am five years older than you, and there are many lesbians who are more suitable for you than me, I can introduce you to a few at any time, so that you can fall in love with one of them, no matter which one you are, it is more suitable for you than me, you will be happier, if you choose me, you will definitely regret it." ”
I originally thought that my refusal would make Cheng Zhiyang disappointed, or a big blow, and eventually he would retreat from the difficulty, or even get angry with me, and he would not have any interaction with me in the future.
But I never expected that he could see that there was love for him in my eyes, so he hugged me without hesitation, kissed me on the face, and then said to me:
"Sister Xiao, don't deceive yourself, you have feelings for me, you love me, I can feel this, so, please accept my love. ”
Immediately afterward, he kissed me wildly, leaving me breathless with the kiss.
I only thought to myself, fortunately no one passed by at this time, otherwise, the seriousness of the problem would have been great.
Eventually, I had to push him away and tell him that I promised to be in a relationship with him, but he couldn't be so aggressive, otherwise neither he nor I could stay in this school, and when the students saw it, it would be passed around.
When I established a relationship with Cheng Zhiyang, what I was most entangled in my heart was how to make this matter public, so that the teachers and students of the whole school could accept it calmly, instead of making any waves, after all, I, an older leftover girl, have been single for so long, and now I am in love with a physical education teacher who is five years younger, which is definitely bombarding school news.
Thankfully, a female colleague of mine helped us announce our relationship.
And she blessed and encouraged Cheng Zhiyang and me in front of many teachers, and finally all the teachers accepted this fact with a smile.
And after I fell in love with Cheng Zhiyang for a month, I only felt that I couldn't help myself, because he was really my ideal life partner.
He was actually born in a poor rural area, his mother died when he was seven years old, and his father died when he was fifteen, and it was his uncle who continued to support him and let him be admitted to university and have the opportunity to receive higher education.
Therefore, he has actually always wanted to find an older woman to be his lifelong partner, and he has already had feelings for me from the moment he joined the company, but he has never let me see it.
Although I am three or four centimeters taller than Cheng Zhiyang, I am actually very coordinated when I walk with him, not inconsistent at all, and I can even be said to be a quite compatible pair, but I don't have the right to wear high heels, which I don't think is a pity.
When I took Cheng Zhiyang back to my hometown, my parents, as well as my relatives in my family, saw that I had found a spiritual guy, a male physical education teacher, as my object, they only thought that we were quite suitable, and also thought that I was not young and needed to get married as soon as possible and have children.
I quickly registered my marriage with Cheng Zhiyang, and after the marriage, I gave birth to a son for him.
Thinking back to my marriage and relationship with him, I only thought that if it hadn't been for his brave confession and asking me if I could accept him, he and I would not have been able to become husband and wife.
Sometimes, both men and women may feel that the other party may dislike one of their shortcomings, but in fact, it may not be the case, so when it comes to falling in love, self-confidence is really important.
If you have love in your heart, you must express it confidently, even if you are rejected, it doesn't matter.
After all, at least if you express the love in your heart, you won't regret it, otherwise it will be a kind of miss, and in the end it will be a good couple, and it may not be able to be together, which is a pity.
－END－
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