Mortals are not Nezha, they do not have three heads and six arms; mortals are not gods and Buddhas, and they have no boundless mana; mortals are just mortals, with limited ability, and it is already very good to be able to manage the acres and three points of land within their share.
For things that are beyond their own tolerance, it is understandable to refuse because of the weakness of the heart.
But in real life, if this kind of rejection occurs in marriage, it may cause quite regrettable consequences!
Share a man's distress: "Twenty years of marriage, husband and wife are deeply in love. The ups and downs have gone through, but they did not want to be divorced in the end because they refused the pension of their parents-in-law! ”
How should we look at and deal with this situation? Is it really the man who is at fault? Let's discuss and express our opinions after watching it together!
01, Mr. Che
I'm 45 years old this year. In middle age, I have been married to my wife for twenty years.
My son saw that in another 3 months this year, he was going to go to college, but his wife did not get my cooperation because of a matter that she thought was very important, and divorced me in a rage, which really made me feel quite helpless and discouraged!
This matter is mainly related to her parents, and then I will talk about the context carefully:
My parents-in-law usually treat me well, and it is not an exaggeration to say that they regard me as a son. She was the only daughter in the family, and because she cherished her daughter, they also put love on me.
However, a few months ago, my parents-in-law took the initiative to propose to me: in the future, the problem of their pension must be solved by the two of us.
Faced with such a heavy responsibility, I hesitated to treat the two elderly people as parents.
Because I am also the only child in the family, there will be two parents to take care of with my wife in the future, which must not be avoided.
02、
My father, though he had a job before, had a pension not too high; his mother was a full-time housewife, with no income.
The two of us are older, and the physical pain is increasing, and it is certain that in the future, I will need to contribute both money and effort in this regard, and the burden is really very heavy.
After a little thought, I realized that my family would be a bottomless pit in the future, and whether we could take care of it with all our efforts was still a considerable question.
On the contrary, the parents-in-law are younger, and both of them have pensions, and they are currently much better than my parents in terms of physical health, I think they should be able to take care of themselves for many years, plus in order not to let themselves add more to the heavy pressure of the two elderly people,I refused the request of my parents-in-law.
At that time, I also told the second elder one by one about my bitterness, and I thought that I was quite pertinent and frank, not prevaricating.
After listening, the two old men did not say anything more, and there was no considerable change in attitude compared with before, but the atmosphere suddenly became quite delicate, and they suddenly became silent, no longer willing to say a word to me.
I was ready to take my wife home and give the two old men a time and process to accept and digest this fact.
03、
Who would have thought that my wife would have thrown my hand away at that time, and then ignored me and sat still in her mother's house.
I knew she was angry, and I thought it would be better to let her accompany the two old men and comfort and persuade them.
After all, we are husband and wife, she should be able to know that I am telling the truth, and she can also understand my pain and difficulty.
Who knows, when she came back a day later, she actually began to pack her bags, saying that she was going to move back to her mother's house to take care of her parents alone.
As soon as I heard it, I was anxious and asked her, "Then how are we living our own lives?" ”
She replied with a sneer: "You only care about your parents' old age, as well as your own feelings, and never thought about my parents' feelings with me!" I finally saw through it, you are really cold and selfish, just like this: let's divorce each other. You are at ease to give your parents a pension, I am at ease to give my parents a pension, and all the problems will be solved. ”
Although I had persuaded her and worked with her afterwards, she couldn't listen to it at all, really because of this matter, we had already received a divorce certificate, and you said that I was wronged!
I really can't afford it or deliberately avoid it, how can she not understand it?
epilogue:
For families where both parties are only children, the problem of how to provide pensions for the four elderly people on both sides in the future can never be avoided, and it must be faced one day.
Therefore, it is even more necessary to plan early and start to implement.
If the couple can only live with one of them, then the other parents can buy a house closer to them, or even in the same neighborhood.
In this way, it can be walked between the legs that are usually lifted, and between frequent exchanges, it can play a role in accompanying and caring. Many things are man-made, not absolutely unthinkable.
For the pain and difficulty of this kind of one-child marriage, the parents of both sides must also understand and understand.
Don't be angry, complain, and mess up your child's marriage and family because your wishes can't be achieved.
After all, their life is also life, and it is not easy to have a happy and warm haven. Now there are many kinds of solutions for the elderly, choosing your own suitable, than forcing the other party's ability to reach the unattainable is much more appropriate is not it?
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