Teacher Zhou's video number is updated
Theme: Wine is the oldest invention of mankind
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Love is like a flower, and marriage is its fruit. The law of the plant kingdom is that the fruit and the flower cannot be both, and once the fruit is fruited, the flower disappears. The analogy is that once married, love disappears.
Is there a way to get both ways?
Some, it is so simple that it is necessary to change the syntax of the metaphor: unmarried love is like the beauty of an uncarried flower, while married love is like the beauty of the fruit of a flower that has been thanked. Yes, the fruit and the flower cannot be both, the fruit does not have the gorgeous beauty of the flower, but the fruit has the beauty of the fruit, as long as it is a full fruit, as long as you are good at appreciating it.
Plants don't grieve for flowers to fall. Man is too complicated, he still remembers the flower after the fruit, and criticizes the fruit with the aesthetic standards of the flower, and finally makes the fruit sick and loses the beauty that belongs to it.
About divorce
Q: What circumstances does divorce have to be done?
Zhou Guoping: You said that you were empathetic and didn't fall in love, so you wanted a divorce? I urge you to be careful, because you may just be infatuated for a while, and you will regret it later. You say that you are not in love with anyone else, but feel that you can't live in the existing marriage, the two people are either cold or indifferent, the atmosphere is extremely dull, the mood is always depressed, and there is no bright hope? Well, I urge you to make a decision, because this is a sure and unmistakable indication that your marriage has no emotional basis.
Q: After five years of marriage, my husband has domestic violence, and he has no feelings at present, but he has to accept the status quo for the sake of his children. How do you get out without divorce?
Zhou Guoping: I think that in the case you said, divorce is a better option. Even for children, this family with no parents and violent fathers is also a much worse environment than single mothers, which is full of negative energy, and single mothers are just weaker in energy, as long as you adjust your mentality, it can be positive energy. If, for all reasons, you decide not to divorce, it is best to reach an agreement with your husband to maintain the appearance of the family, and both parties treat their children well and do not interfere with each other's affairs. You must have a free space that your husband cannot interfere with, in this space, you can arrange your own things independently, including work, study, entertainment, making friends, etc. This requires the understanding and cooperation of the husband, the question is will he?
Q: There are a large number of divorced families in social instability, how should single mothers guide their children to establish a correct outlook on life for children who lack paternal love?
Zhou Guoping: Because of divorce, children lack paternal love, and this deficiency cannot be compensated by life outlook education alone, in fact, it cannot be made up. I think that to be truly responsible for the child, the divorced parties should form a consensus that the child still gets and feels the father's love to the maximum. You are no longer husband and wife, but you are still the parents of your children, and you can make arrangements for fathers and children to get together often to express and enjoy family affection. What if the father does not cooperate? There are only two ways to go back. The first is that single mothers themselves take on the role of fathers at the same time, and also think and meet the needs of their children from the perspective of fathers. The second is that one or two close male friends take on the role of quasi-fathers and have more contact with their children. In short, emotional deficiencies must be compensated in an emotional way.
Q: When is it better for divorced women to meet the man they love to confess their experiences?
Zhou Guoping: You are in love with him, he is not yet in love with you, at this time must not say, if he still does not love you in the end, is it not superfluous to tell him this? If you feel that he is also fond of you, I think it is better to say it later than to say it early. Divorce is a legal fact that he can know or hear about through various channels, and once he finds out that you are hiding, he will have doubts about your character. You tell him he'll break up with you, what to do? Break up and break up, first of all, this is sooner or later, and second, a man with such a narrow mind does not make love. There is also a situation where it is not divorced, it is a boyfriend or sexual experience, and my opinion is that there is basically no need to confess, because this is your privacy, and as he is concerned, respecting your privacy is the upbringing he deserves.
Q: My husband is cheating, and on the one hand I hope he will come back in time, and I will take this as an episode in my life. On the other hand, if he is still obsessed, then I will no longer struggle, I will raise the child alone. However, what I am most troubled about is that I already have a shadow in my heart now, even if this time things have passed, Whether similar things will happen in the future, I feel very tired and tired. Teacher Zhou, what should I do?
Zhou Guoping: You make two-handed preparations, and I appreciate your attitude. The inner shadows and worries you said, I also understand very well, this is naturally there, there is no strange it. However, you have to aim for the former prospect, which is to strive to make this matter an episode in life, so you have to play down the shadows and worries in your heart and try not to show it. That said, it's important to encourage and trust him not to do it again, and your trust will work for him. On the contrary, if the family atmosphere is full of suspicion, he will inevitably be emotionally alienated from the family, thus increasing the possibility of cheating again. Of course, your generosity and effort may also be ineffective, and if that's the case, and it's never too late for you to make a decision, then break up.
Taste the beauty and sorrow of life
As an actor, Ms. Li Jingjing is highly respected by many international opera masters and is a famous opera artist who has won many international awards. She looks as well-behaved and lovely as a little sister next door, but under such an appearance, there is the infinite expressiveness and tension of the performance artist.
In order to present the most perfect lesson listening experience to everyone, Ms. Jingjing personally carefully selected the world's best version of the music repertoire, interspersed with the plot for everyone to enjoy. She will deeply analyze the music, plot, characters, era background, composer anecdotes and other interesting things, and ridicule western "serious" opera from the perspective of a young artist after the 80s and a first-line actress active on the opera stage. Listening to beautiful arias and learning about the moving story behind the music, will you fall in love with opera on the spot?
Today's good book recommendation
The Great Mind
In this world, there is such a group of people who, although the fewest in number, will always have the greatest impact on human civilization.
They are the discoverers of truth, the liberators of thought, and the enlighteners of civilization. They are great figures in the history of human thought.
So how do we ordinary people approach these great people and listen to their deafening voices?
Maybe you can do it with this set of Great Minds, which is the easiest and most effective way to do it.
This set of books, the Penguin Classics series. It brings together the world's greatest thinkers, philosophers, and statesmen, bringing together philosophical writings, essays, and political treatises that have had a major impact on human thought.
For example, Plato's "Drinking", Adam Smith's "Invisible Hand", Nietzsche's "With Loneliness" and so on.
This set of 48 books, each volume is a small book, read 20 pages a day, 5 days can read a classic. Moreover, each one is small and easy to carry, which is a good consideration for the reader.
I have said more than once that reading books should not take a detour and go straight to the master, this set of books is a collection of excellent works of many masters, reading it, you can use the simplest way to read the greatest ideas, arm our minds, and achieve a better self.