Author ┃ Purple Qiulan Read aloud ┃ Purple Qiulan
Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号
After more than twenty years as a primary school class teacher, I have seen students of various personalities, some lively, some quiet, some flamboyant, and some introverted, and each student is unique.
Among these students, my heart ached most was the children of single-parent families. Especially children who lack paternal love.
I once taught a boy named Xiao Kai. His father died unexpectedly. Mom took him alone. Xiao Kai was particularly timid, and did not even dare to be at home alone. I asked the child why he did not dare to stay at home alone, he said he was afraid of the dark, I told him many times that he was afraid of the dark, he could turn on the light, but he was still afraid.
His mother didn't know how to guide him not to be afraid. In addition to being timid, Xiao Kai does not love sports, almost all boys like to play games, he does not dare to try. He did not dare to learn roller skating, did not dare to learn bicycles, did not dare to climb trees, in short, he felt that he was particularly unvigorized, did not like to play games that required strength, he always liked to play with children younger than him, and when playing with his peers, he was often bullied.
There is also a very timid child in our class, Xiaowen. The lack of family interaction is the main reason for Xiaowen's timidity. His father almost never took him to play, and the interaction between his mother and Xiaowen was mainly controlled, and everything in Xiaowen was arranged by his mother, and he never gave Xiaowen the opportunity to express his opinions and take responsibility. Xiao Wen became timid and had no opinion.
I looked at the children around me, except for a few children who were naturally introverted, most of the children's timidity was related to the lack of family interaction.
Specifically, if you want your child to be lively and cheerful, parents should give their children enough encouragement and affirmation to reduce commanding and controlling dialogue. Xiao Kai in our class is likely to have the same family problem as Xiao Wen, that is, the lack of fatherly love. Children without paternal love are more likely to appear timid and insecure, and children without paternal love are more likely to show a lack of courage to try new things.
However, Xiaokai's mother is aware of the child's problems and consciously encourages the child to try sports games, which is a positive attitude worthy of recognition. Xiao Kai does not dare to be alone at home, and not loving sports may be two different problems.
Xiao Kai has always stressed that he does not dare to be at home alone for three reasons:
01
Afraid of the dark, the mother just tells the child that the lights can be turned on at home, but also can not rule out the child's inner fear, because the darkness in the child's heart may only be a symbol of fear, the child alone at home, will have a similar sense of fear, he said afraid of the black, the actual meaning is that he is afraid of this fear.
02
It may be that adults often lock their children in a dark room when they are young, so that when the child feels afraid, his mind is full of black rooms.
03
The child may indeed be locked up in a dark room at one point and frightened by the dark room.
It can be seen that in order to improve the child's timidity, the first thing parents have to do is to accept the child's fearful mood and listen carefully to the child's voice. Only through patient listening and gentle inquiry can parents understand the real reason why their children are afraid to be alone at home. Once the child speaks out of the true fear in his heart, and the parent gives full understanding and support, the fear will naturally weaken and even disappear.
When children go to primary school, it is the best period to develop physical flexibility and sensitivity, and parents should encourage their children to participate in sports. So why is Xiao Kai reluctant to participate in these sports that her mother said? There are generally the following reasons:
01
He has not yet encountered the most suitable sports for himself, because individuals are different, the types of sports that children like will be very different, parents may wish to take their children to see different types of sports.
02
Family culture is more negative. Children are often hit, most children are born to love sports, but if parents in the child's exercise, often say "you can't do", "you are really useless" and other words, or worry that the child in sports injury, the child is likely to be interested in trying new sports.
03
Parents cannot exercise with their children. Parents and children with the benefits of sports are many, first of all, let the child directly see the meaning of this sport, because parents are also doing it every day; secondly, the time for parents to exercise with their children is itself a very good parent-child time, children can experience the support and love of parents from it, even if the child does not like a sport at first, but if the parents are willing to play with their children, the child will soon fall in love with the sport. Again, children can learn a lot in the process of interacting with their parents.
Most of the current social situation is that fathers earn money to support their families, and when they return home, they hold their mobile phones and look at them. My mother had to go to work and do housework when she got home, and she wanted to rest when she had some free time. In addition, most women do not love sports, and they will not take their children to exercise. Over time, the children raised by mothers are timid and even cowardly. Studies have shown that fathers often take their children to play, and children are more emotionally stable and more responsible. Since the child is brought into the world by the father and mother, both the father and the mother must participate in educating the child and making the child feel different care.
Author Reader┃ Purple Qiulan
Purple Qiulan, a stay-at-home mother, usually likes to read and write. I hope to exchange and learn with you in Shanbo Education.
Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai
Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.