Author┃ Hui Cao Read aloud ┃ Hui Cao
Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号
Recently, I heard Mei jie complain that the quality of life plummeted after the second child. XiaoBao has all kinds of care day and night, and on the other side, Dabao is all kinds of trouble, sticky. She shouted: Too hard, too hard.
Such examples are not in the minority, I saw on the Internet that some netizens have made an image analogy: a family with one tire is a normal driving, and after the second tire, it becomes a weight forward, and a little carelessness may overturn.
Although it is a paragraph, but a careful taste, but it tells the true situation of countless second-child families. A woman, in particular, as a mom, is often given more responsibilities more often. Under the pressure of parenting pressure, life pressure, and family work conflict, many mothers have experienced light or heavy anxiety.
The problem seems cumbersome and messy, clear the fog, in addition to the positive mentality of second-born mothers, what specific measures can be taken to change the status quo?
01
Bringing two babies is not the same as doubling the energy consumption
Use the method with less effort
In two-child families, parents also adapt in learning, and children grow up in learning.
At the beginning, for the arrival of the second child, don't say adults, Dabao will also be uncomfortable. Originally, the family surrounded themselves, and after the birth of the younger brother/sister, the mother gave the attention to the baby, and the time spent with Dabao was much less. These, children see in the eyes, more can feel.
Therefore, mothers must take time to accompany Dabao and actively communicate and interact with Dabao effectively. Even mothers should express more love and attention to Dabao when treating their two children. Then, Dabao is more willing to accept the fact that the second child is more satisfied while getting enough satisfaction.
In addition, the baby can not take care of all aspects of life, it is inevitable that the mothers need more companionship and care. This process is also an excellent opportunity to cultivate Dabao. Mothers can take the initiative to show weakness, ask Dabao to do what they can, participate in the care of the baby, the child is very happy and happy.
Another point is also very important, conflicts and disputes between children are inevitable. Don't be too afraid to be a mother, or rush to be a referee, judging right from wrong. Instead, the child's problems are left to the child, and the principle of using the natural consequence method can make the child learn how to live together.
02
Good family atmosphere
It takes a lot of work together
A harmonious and warm family must be inseparable from the efforts of each family member. And a good relationship between husband and wife is the basis of the parent-child relationship. The role play and pattern of getting along between parents in the family is an indicator of a family's happiness directly determined. Dad's participation in family affairs can not only make up for women's shortcomings, but also have an important impact on the child's personality development.
In addition, studies have shown that boys build up the good qualities of a man in their dealings with their fathers. Such as: the courage to take responsibility, love the family, self-confidence in the sunshine and so on. Conversely, boys who lack the involvement of their father's role from an early age are more likely to create personalities such as introversion and shyness, giant babies, etc.
The girl also forms the cognition of the two sexes getting along through the image established by the father, and the role positioning in the marriage.
Therefore, no matter from which point of view, mothers should encourage fathers to participate in parenting. After all, it is only through personal experience that we can better understand and communicate with each other. At the same time, mothers also have time to keep for themselves and enrich themselves.
03
Good mothers can raise good children
Striving to be a better version of yourself is already the next word to do. It is also appropriate to use it on the mother. Sometimes, mothers' parenting anxiety or postpartum depression is more from their own inner fears.
Especially when mothers focus on their children and families, but do not keep themselves, they will find that their joys and sorrows are based on their children and husbands, and they are often empty. And the child may be very dependent on you, but his development does not need you to revolve around him.
Good kids all have equally great moms. Good mothers face the same pressure, but they know how to balance their relationship with their children, family and career.
Qian Qian is 5 years old this year, well-behaved, sensible and versatile. But Mom is a busy working woman. Moreover, there is no elderly care at home.
Almost every time, my mother was the latest to pick up the qianqian, and business trips were also commonplace. Despite this, mom also sets aside time every day to accompany Qian qian - stories, chats... During the holidays, travel plans and interest classes will also be arranged. Therefore, Qian Qian will have excellent performance over its peers.
Therefore, mothers do not have to accompany their children all the time, training children needs methods, and mothers need to adapt to their own rhythms.
Only when the mothers take good care of themselves, develop well, and radiate positive energy, the children will also subtly keep up with your pace.
Therefore, mothers get out of anxiety, first go into their own hearts, see what they want and think, and take action. Moms remember: it's not easy to change others, but when you change, everything around you changes.
Author: Hui Cao, three years to hold two, novice second-born mother, seven years of preschool teacher. Two babies are my best living teaching materials, on the road to parenting, you are not alone, let us work together, while walking and growing.
Appreciation belongs to the author
Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai
Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.