Author ┃ Purple Qiulan Read aloud ┃ Purple Qiulan
Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号
Children are starting elementary school. Parents often experience the mood of riding a roller coaster, children achieve good results, parents are touched and happy; children encounter difficulties, parents are anxious. With the passage of time, the child gradually grows up, and the parents' mood slowly tends to be flat.
Children unconsciously rise to the upper grades, become more and more familiar with school life, and they begin to talk about their schools, their teachers, and classmates like "little masters". Their growing sense of self tends to give parents the illusion that their children have grown up.
In fact, children in primary school are far from developing a mature body and mind, and they still make mistakes often. If you make a mistake and don't deal with it, you will subconsciously cover up your mistakes by lying.
The survey showed that most of the students lied about learning, for example, not completing homework, deceiving the teacher to say that the homework book was forgotten at home, etc.; the homework was written poorly, and they did not dare to take it out for the parents to sign after returning home, deceived the parents to say that there was no homework today, and deceived the teacher the next day when they arrived at school that the parents were not at home, or simply imitated the parents to sign themselves. Poor grades can also change grades. In the face of such children, parents are irritable, anxious, and even doubt their own way of education, and do not know how to educate their children.
The friend was very upset during this time, saying that her son's class teacher called her to say that the child had been doing very badly recently and that he always talked in class. The teacher has already talked to his son and hopes that the parents will help the teacher to re-educate and educate the child. When the child came home, she talked to the child about it. The child said that the same table always asked him for homework, and he had to speak. She said that let the child communicate well with the same table, do not talk about homework in class in the future, and discuss the problem after class.
In this way, both people can ensure that they will listen carefully in class. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. The child said that he would not talk to his classmates about homework in class again. The child's attitude is very sincere, and she believes the child's words.
On Friday, she asked her son how he was doing in class, and the child said he was doing well and did not speak in class again. As a result, the teacher called again to say that the child was still speaking in class, and did not listen carefully to the lecture, and the teacher criticized the child fiercely in the school. Let parents educate their children well. My friend was sad and disappointed, saying he didn't know how to educate his children.
Students in the lower grades exhibit lying behavior because they cannot distinguish between the imaginary world and the real world. In the middle and upper grades, as children's self-awareness increases, their hope of lying is generally purposeful.
A child's lying behavior is essentially an attempt to construct a perfect self-image---- the perfect image set by parents and teachers.
That is, if parents and teachers often hint at their children that they only like those who learn well, the child will unknowingly accept this hint. But not all children can get good results, once the child's grades do not meet the requirements of adults, adult criticism, indifference will bring great pressure to children, at this time, the only way for children is to lie. In other words, the child's lying behavior is forced by the adult.
Lying is not good, but if it is a helpless act of persecution by adults, then how to do it.
01
It is the adults themselves who make the change
It is the adults themselves who have to make a change. For example, in terms of learning, in the lower grades of primary school, the core of children is not knowledge, but in maintaining and stimulating their enthusiasm for learning, curiosity about knowledge, and adults should reduce children's learning requirements as much as possible.
In terms of daily life, parents try not to create opportunities for their children to lie, not to let their children do things that they are not yet capable of doing, and not to make excessive demands on their children.
02
Parents should not rise to the moral level
Examine your child's lying behavior
Parents must not rise to the moral level to examine the child's lying behavior, the child can not meet the expectations of the parents, itself is already very depressed and sad, if the parents still criticize them at this time, it is tantamount to worse, the child's soul is a damage.
03
Poor parent-child communication
Therefore, inaccurate information transmission can lead to misunderstanding
Poor parent-child communication, so inaccurate information delivery can lead to misunderstanding. Therefore, parents should learn to communicate effectively with their children, which is by no means to learn some communication skills, to learn to respect children, to learn to think in a different position, to think from the perspective of children to think about the root cause of children's problems and then communicate with children.
04
Let your child participate in some party activities as well
Some parents in order to accompany their children more, many social activities do not participate, in fact, relying on their own efforts to educate children is thankless, if you can try to arrange, so that children can also participate in some party activities, on the one hand, learn to pick up people and things, on the other hand, parents and children will also have common topics. In the process of growing up, children are socialized step by step, in which parents are their role models, they want to know their parents' views on things, but they do not want their parents to say a lot of truths to them at every turn.
For children who are growing, every parent needs to have a sense of unconditional acceptance of children, affirmation of them, and protection of them. Only by embracing all of their children's behavior can parents truly understand their children's behavior. Only by affirming certain manifestations of the child can parents activate their instinct to grow upwards. Only by unconditionally protecting the child's body and mind can parents create a free and broad space for their children to grow.
Appreciation belongs to the author
Author Reader┃ Purple Qiulan
Purple Qiulan, a stay-at-home mother, usually likes to read and write. I hope to exchange and learn with you in Shanbo Education.
Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai
Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.