Author┃Big Salt Particles Read aloud┃Xiao Mo
Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号
I have seen a news that Ran Ran, a 9-year-old girl in Wuhan, suddenly couldn't see the homework book clearly when she was doing winter vacation homework, and her vision was blurred.
Ran Ran was afraid to ask her parents for help, but the parents felt that she did not want to do homework and deliberately pretended.
Even once, Ran Ran couldn't see clearly and fell down the steps, and parents still thought ran Ran was lying.
After a few days, Ran Ran's eyes never improved, and her parents were a little panicked and rushed to the hospital.
After the examination, the doctor told the parents that Ran Ran was not pretending to be ill, but suffering from retrobulbar optic neuritis.
Due to delays in sending to the hospital, the optimal treatment time was missed, and Ran Ran's vision was seriously reduced.
Because of the parents' distrust, the child's eyes can no longer see clearly, which is regrettable.
Afterwards, the doctor sighed: "The child is actually the least liar in the world, and questioning will only delay the diagnosis and treatment of the child." ”
Psychologist Alvaro pointed out in the book "The Child's Brain": "The child's self-confidence directly depends on the trust of his parents. ”
Children who are not trusted by their parents can only live in inferiority and strive to prove themselves to their parents all their lives.
And those children who are trusted by their parents, from the beginning of life, get a full sense of security, and are destined to live confidently and frankly.
01
The more trusting the parents are, the more successful the children are
Ma Yili once mentioned her parents' stories about her in "Reader 2".
At that time, her high school teacher asked her parents to come to her to receive the student handbook.
Papa Ma opened the manual and saw that the ideological character column said "Poor", and he asked the teacher incomprehensibly.
The teacher replied to him, and Ma Yili fell in love with a number of boys early.
After listening to the teacher's words, Papa Ma was not angry, he just asked the teacher to write the names of the boys.
As a result, the teacher only wrote a name on the paper.
Papa Ma wondered, isn't it "multiple boys", how did he write a name?
The teacher said that Ma Dad was a little angry.
Papa Ma believed that his daughter could not do such a thing, and finally he went directly to the principal to reason, and broke up with the teacher.
After listening to her father's words, Ma Yili cried, at first she felt extremely wronged, but her father's unconditional trust made her move.
Since then, Ma Yili has always reminded herself that she must be more conscious and not live up to her parents' trust in her.
Later, Ma Yili mentioned on the show: "A very secure child, often in childhood, parents give you a satisfying love." ”
Immersed in such a loving family, the little girl in shanghai's Shikumen Lane has grown up to become a determined, independent and confident actor - Ma Yili.
The more children are trusted by their parents, the easier it is to succeed when they grow up.
As the educator Spencer put it: "When a child feels loved and trusted, it won't be long before miracles appear before your eyes." ”
The trust of parents gives children enough sense of security, these senses of security are the backbone of children's lives, it allows children to have the confidence to leave the comfort zone and bravely chase dreams.
Through the "Rosenthal effect" of psychology, it also shows that parents believe that their children are great, and children receive positive feedback and will work in the direction that parents expect.
The trust of parents is like giving children a pair of wings, which can help children bravely spread their wings and soar, to run, to fight, to achieve their dreams.
The trust of parents is the confidence of children in the face of the world!
02
The trust of parents, the more self-motivated the child has
Educator Tao Xingzhi once said: "The whole secret of educating children lies in believing in children." ”
Children who are trusted by their parents, they are full of self-motivation and can seriously grasp the steering wheel of life.
Fan Deng shared on a show that he never bothered about his children's homework.
Kindergarten manual homework, many parents will help their children to do together, do a beautiful job, but Fan Deng only let his children do it themselves, no matter how ugly it is, they also happily handed it to the teacher.
Later, when the child went to elementary school, it was time to write homework after class.
Fan Deng told the child: "This is your own business, I believe that you can be self-disciplined and can control the time of study." When you're done with your homework, you'll arrange the rest of the time to play by yourself."
In this way, no one in their family has ever helped their children with homework, nor have they found one-on-one tutoring classes, but their children's grades have always been very good.
Fan Deng boldly let the children allocate their own time, and the children consciously improved the efficiency of doing homework in order to have more time to play.
After he finished his homework every day, he even had a lot of time to play baseball, play poker, and watch Marvel with his father.
In life, there are always some parents who feel that their children are rubbing their homework and worry that their children's homework is too wrong, and they can't help but accompany their children to write homework together.
But as stated in the book "Children's Brains": "Excessive enthusiasm and protection of parents can make children less confident."
This meticulous reminder and care reveals parents' doubts about their children's ability to live alone without their parents. ”
In reality, there are some children who spend a lot of energy every day, but in fact, they are not used to study at all, but to cope with the doubts of their parents.
The more parents do not believe that their children can do a good job, the more they are afraid to let go of their children's mistakes.
This kind of worry is like a dark cloud, always hanging over the child, and over time, the child becomes independent and unconscious as the parents "expect".
Excessive worry has become a child's confinement.
If you want your child to grow up and not fall on his heels, what parents can do is to return the initiative to their children, believing that he can get up on his own when he falls, and can gain experience from failure.
Children are in control of their own lives and are naturally able to drive themselves to love learning and explore freely.
03
Wise parents trust their children unconditionally
There was a "reversal news" that attracted everyone's attention.
A car owner in a residential area in Chongqing reported that his car body had been scratched, and the police called for surveillance and found that a 10-year-old child had walked around the car.
The boy kept arguing that he didn't paddle and was just playing with flies on the window.
The child's father knows him well and knows if the child is lying.
However, from the monitoring point of view, it is true that only their own children have approached the car, in order for the children not to be interrogated by the onlookers and affect the children's emotions, the father can only compensate the owner for the loss first.
In the next few days, the child has been sullen, the father believes that the child did not lie, in order to prove the child's innocence, he asked the police at the time to track down the truth.
After three days of investigation by the police, the ending was really reversed.
It turned out that when the boy approached the car, his hand was in the pocket of his clothes, and he did not paddle the car at all.
Afterwards, the owner and the child apologized face to face to pay back the money, and the depressed child did not look up until he heard this apology and laughed.
Netizen commented: "Dad is really good, when the incident occurred, he could communicate calmly, and he did not immediately suspect that the child did it." ”
When a child is in trouble, the different ways parents treat their children will have a great impact on them.
If parents do not listen to their children's explanations, unilateral questioning will only make children become timid and inferior, and they will not believe that their parents can help him when they encounter difficulties in the future.
Wise parents, on the other hand, are usually able to trust their children unconditionally when they encounter problems.
Based on this trust, parents can patiently listen to their children's voices, accept their children's emotions, and obtain effective communication.
When the boy faced doubts, he could bravely defend himself, and it was the pair of reliable parents behind him that gave him full confidence.
Joyce Brazes said: "The best proof of love is trust, and trusting each other is the best love for children." ”
It shows that on weekdays, this child is deeply loved by his parents.
Parents are the most trusted people in children, and we should also believe in children.
04
Children who are trusted by their parents
Destined to live confidently and openly
The "Pygmalion effect" in psychology also shows that when children are trusted by their parents and expected positively, they will work in a positive direction and perform better and better.
If a child is a sunflower, then the trust of parents is like sunshine. There is no need to use the wind, just towards the sun, you can drive yourself to rotate and grow, independently under the sky.
Every child, after all, has to face the future by themselves, and the role of parents is not "referee", but more like "cheerleaders", giving children encouragement and love, giving children strength and trust.
Children who are trusted by their parents are destined to live confidently and frankly.
Click [watching] and hope to be trusted by people who are trusted and loved by people who love in this life.
Author: Big Salt Particles, Motto: What Is Life Like, Put Your Own Seasoning.
Reader┃ Xiao Mo
Xiao Mo, a junior high school teacher, is a spiritual life, understanding the soul of words with the heart, reading aloud to match the heart of the words, and using sound to convey the love and kindness in the words.
Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai
Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.