Love your daughter well and don't let her have a rough life.
Author | Li Walnut's "Human World" was broadcast, and compared with the original work, everyone's ending was more satisfactory:
The eldest brother did not die of illness, the eldest sister-in-law did not remarry, Bingkun did not encounter the contradiction between Weng and his daughter-in-law, and even Feng Huacheng, who cheated, was "whitewashed", and the Zhou family, who had been bumpy all their lives, had a good result.
Only Yue Yue, the screenwriter seems unable to give a warm and reasonable ending.
Yue Yue in the original work, who could not find a job after studying abroad, intervened in the marriage of a logistics company owner in his 50s, and the little three took the position, which humiliated the whole family.
Yue Yue in the play must look like, talented, and career, but she is always alone.
The only ambiguous object, Peng Xinsheng, was an old man who was many years older than her.
She was depressed about it: my emotional luck was so bad...
Everything has cause and effect.
Yue Yue's emotional misfortune was actually doomed as early as ten years ago.
A girl who lacks paternal love
A life of love is bumpy
Yue Yue grew up with her uncle and aunt, and was only picked up by her parents after the age of 16.
A few days after returning home, her parents divorced again, and she followed her mother.
Therefore, in the first half of Yue Yue's life, the role of "father" was missing.
When her mother first wanted to take her home, her first reaction was that she was unhappy, thinking that her father was "a man" and inconvenient.
But she has lived in her uncle's house for more than ten years, her cousins, uncles, and grandfathers are all men, and she has also slept with her cousin and uncle, and she does not feel inconvenient.
Just because she treats them as relatives, there is no sense of alienation because she is a relative.
And Dad?
Although the blood relationship is closer, the father and daughter have never lived together, and they are emotionally distant, even strange.
Although Dad was sentimental, he did not make up for it, but divorced his mother, left France, and completely left Yue Yue's world.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"A girl who lacks paternal love has spent her life looking for a man like her father to fill in the gaps in her life."
Yue Yue's ambiguous object is old enough to be her father, and this is the reason.
Psychology believes that throughout our lives, we are all repairing our childhood.
What is missing in the process of growing up, what will be sought when you grow up.
Girls who lack love in childhood will grow up to find mature old men in the relationship between the sexes to repair the missing father's love.
For example, Zhang Liangying, who lost her father at the age of 15, met Feng Ke at the age of 38 at the age of 18, and the charm of a mature man immediately captured this girl who was not deeply involved in the world.
13 years later, Zhang Liangying braved everyone's opposition and married Feng Ke, who was 20 years older than herself.
But the marriage lasted only two years, and the two broke up after the end of their brokerage contract.
Another example is Zhang Yuqi, when her parents divorced when she was 3 years old, she grew up with her mother, and her father did not even know how old she was.
The lack of paternal love left her completely ignorant of the world of the opposite sex.
Her first husband, Wang Quan'an, was 21 years older than her, and their marriage ended with Wang Quan'an's prostitution.
The second husband, Yuan Bayuan, was even more scummy, openly exposing her shortcomings in the circle of friends, and after the two had a physical confrontation, they left again.
Netizens jokingly called her "scumbag harvester", and she also laughed at herself for "looking at men's eyes inaccurately".
She said:
"Because you have little contact with your father and always grow up in a pile of women, you don't have that much understanding of men, no one tells you what men look like, and you don't see what they really look like." 」
The father is the first person of the opposite sex that the girl comes into contact with, and the girl opens the door to the opposite sex world through the father.
Girls who lack fatherly love do not know how to deal with gender relations, and their love road is bumpy in their lives.
The way Dad treats Mom
Determines the marriage pattern of the daughter
Yue Yue lacks both fatherly and maternal love.
However, the mother is sensitively aware of the adverse effect of the parents' absence on the child, so the second half of her life strives to make up for the daughter, and Yue Yue's later excellence is not unrelated to the mother's efforts.
But no matter how strong the mother is, she cannot replace the role of the father.
On the basis of the bad consequences that the absence of father's love has caused to his daughter, Yue Yue's father has made another mistake: cheating on young girls and abandoning his wife and daughters.
What impact will this have on her daughter's future?
A professor of psychology at the University of Georgia in the United States once did a survey:
In families where the father misbehaves, the daughter has lower expectations of men, has a natural "distrust" of men, and yearns for and disrespects feelings.
Yue Yue's actor Hu Lianxin also said:
In love, Feng Yue is both eager and inferior. Stepping out of the obstacles and demons of my original family is something I really want to interpret. ”
In her view, Yue Yue represents a type of girl who is forced to precocious because of the breakdown of her parents' feelings, and she is extremely eager for love and extremely lack of love.
Thoughtful, sensitive, lonely, this is a pain that she has been difficult to reconcile in her life.
So, the best gift a dad can give to his daughter is to treat her mom well.
Wu Zhihong once told such a story:
A woman who is excellent in every way, has been married three times, but each time she has encountered domestic violence.
In her last marriage, she carefully chose a man with a gentle personality. This man didn't talk about domestic violence, and he hadn't even quarreled.
But half a year later, she was domestically abused again.
The reason is that the woman's father often beats her mother, she has witnessed her father beating her mother since she was a child, and subconsciously believes that men will abuse women.
It is this kind of cognition that causes her to argue with her partner and say: Are you trying to hit me?
If the partner didn't do it, she said: You kind of come and hit me!
The partner who is angry can withstand such an agitation, and his mind is hot.
Satya, the master of family therapy, once said, "The best gift you can give to your child is a good marriage." ”
Children will pay great attention to the emotional interaction between their parents.
The way the father treats the mother directly affects the daughter's judgment of the sense of family security, and also directly determines the daughter's future marriage.
If the father respects the mother, then the daughter will not accept the situation of not being respected in the treatment of the partner.
If the father loves the mother, then the daughter will not accept the situation of not being loved when treating her partner.
The best education a dad has for a girl is to love her mom well.
Even if you don't love, please leave with dignity, give your mother dignity, and give your daughter a sense of security.
Good Dad
Set an excellent male role model for your daughter
Ma Yili:
"For a girl, if there is a father who loves her very, very much, this girl will have a lot of confidence in the world."
Deeply.
There is a question on zhihu: how much can a father love his daughter?
The answer received by netizen @Qiao Qiao Sister let us see the appearance of a good father and the energy that the daughter draws from the father's love.
She is a middle-aged daughter of her father and has been pampered since childhood.
When she was in elementary school, her father picked her up every day after school, and as soon as she left the school, she could see her father smiling and waving.
On the way home, Dad made her happy again, deliberately asking her: "Dude, how is class today?" She replied mischievously, "Brother rest assured, boss I am very good!" ”
Such intimate interaction makes her very happy every day.
In junior high school, she wanted to ride a bicycle to school, but her mother disagreed and worried about not being safe.
Dad persuaded Mom: Can we protect her for the rest of her life?
Mom let go, she got her wish, and learned to better protect herself and reassure her family.
In high school, a boy pestered her, and even the boy's mother frequently came to her, and she told her father about it.
Dad called the boy's mother on the spot: Don't bother my daughter anymore, take care of your son!
She felt a sense of inner security in an instant, and felt that her father was as dazzling as a star.
That day after school, Dad picked her up and told her:
"Baby daughter, you have any difficulties in the future, even if you go up the knife mountain and go down to the sea of fire, there is a father in front of you." Don't be afraid of you just rushing! ”
She was touched and proud.
When she grew up, she went to work in big cities and videoed her parents every day.
Dad also took the opportunity to teach her the wisdom of getting along with friends and colleagues, and encouraged her to bravely face the difficulties of work and life.
Her mother taught her: Girls should be self-respecting, self-reliant, and self-loving, not to live by their husbands all their lives, but to live their own happy looks!
Today, she is optimistic, confident, brave and knows her position.
Even at the age of talking about marriage, she knows very well what kind of partner she wants in the future, and she will never find someone to marry because she is old.
The book "Raising Girls" once appealed to fathers:
"When you're with her, her mom, and other female friends and relatives, being at your best can help her set a high standard for the men who will be in her life in the future."
A good father not only shapes his daughter's sunny and powerful personality, but also sets an excellent male role model for his daughter.
The daughter who has seen the "high-quality male template" is not far behind in the second half of her life.
Hong Lan, a doctor of experimental psychology at the University of California, said that the maternal love needed for children to grow up shows a decreasing trend, and the father's love shows an increasing trend.
This is especially true for girls.
Because the father is the shaper of the daughter's temperament, the leader of the rules, and the giver of security.
Although the mother can give the daughter love and warm background, the girl's understanding of her own value needs the support of male characters.
As writer Meg Meek put it in Daddy is a Mountain:
"More than anyone else, the father is the one who can set the trajectory of his daughter's life, and the real 'patron' of his daughter's life."
If a girl can get her father's company for 2 hours a day, she will live incredibly strong and get up quickly even if she encounters setbacks.
Father's love is the source of the girl's courage to move forward.
With a father's beloved daughter, the future luck will not be too bad.