There is never a perfect lover in a relationship, but Li Ao and Hu Yinmeng's love has made this mistake since the moment they met.
Li Ao identified Hu Yinmeng as his perfect goddess, and he commented: "If there is a new woman, beautiful and adrift, charming and confused, excellent and excellent, sad and sexy, incomprehensible and reasonable, it must be no one else, it is Hu Yinmeng." ”
And when he pushed open the bathroom door and saw the beauty on the toilet with a red face due to constipation, his goddess dream was shattered ....
When he saw Li Ao for the first time, Hu Yinmeng had decided that he should have been a rebellious and talented man Wenhao, but he didn't expect that his skin was white and clean, and he was a little honest with a medium figure. After they started their married life, but Li Ao, who was grumpy and nitpicky after marriage, made Hu Yinmeng unbearable, so the romantic and talented male god dream in her heart was also shattered.
So this marriage of talented and beautiful women only lasted 3 months and 22 days before it ended in accusations and anger....
In marriage or romantic relationships, sometimes we also make such mistakes, it seems that we always impose our "perfect" ideas on our lover or hide our "ugly" side, deliberately playing a perfect image in front of each other!
So does marriage really need to be "perfect"?
Emotional counseling interprets it for you
In the mind of her first love boyfriend, Xiaomei will always be such a "perfect" girlfriend.
She is gentle and considerate, empathetic, she talks elegantly and does not lose her temper; She knows people warmly and well, and she manages to achieve all his wishes...
Once her boyfriend spent all his living expenses because he was addicted to games, and begged Xiaomei to give him some money as living expenses, so Xiaomei, who was the "perfect girlfriend", did not hesitate to lend her salary to her boyfriend under the opposition of her friends, but her boyfriend continued to play games with these money. Xiaomei's friends have repeatedly advised her to stop pampering her boyfriend so much, but Xiaomei does not think so, she hopes that she is a "perfect" girlfriend, she has to work hard to be a good woman, so that no one can find anything wrong, but the most important thing is to be able to maintain the relationship and make her boyfriend love herself more.
However, with the connivance of Xiaomei, her boyfriend split his legs. Before finding conclusive evidence, Xiaomei actually didn't want to believe it, because she felt that a good girlfriend should trust her partner.
However, as her boyfriend became more and more excessive, and the evidence of his splitting was even exposed in broad daylight, Xiaomei had to admit this fact at this time.
In front of the facts, his boyfriend is still full of lies and quibbles, and he even attributes the reason to Xiaomei's various nots. At that moment, Xiaomei was completely chilled, she didn't understand why a perfect girl like her boyfriend's eyes was betrayed by her boyfriend in the end, and even blamed everything on her in the end.
She took such pains to maintain her "perfect lover" image, but unexpectedly the other party did not cherish it and accused her of smearing her!
Now remembering the first love in the past, Xiaomei really can't wait to immediately travel back to give herself a slap in the face at that time, when she lived so humbly in love, the image of a "perfect" lover is really not so important, playing "perfect" will only make herself farther and farther away from her real self!
Emotional psychological counseling analysis
Some relationships, we hope that it will be long-lasting, stable, beautiful, so that the other party can like us, so many people try to be a perfect child, a perfect partner, a perfect mother, or a perfect work partner, etc., just hoping to maintain a relationship with such a perfect state.
However, many people try, but fail.
01
People always have flaws
There must be a glamorous side to a person's true self, and at the same time there are some flaws.
Sometimes bursting into one or two foul words, not washing hair for three or four days, throwing clothes all over the room, losing temper when unhappy, lazy procrastination, occasionally missing contact, etc. are all part of themselves and deeply rooted in everyone's genes.
02
Deliberate "perfection" is really just repression
When a person deliberately allows himself to show a "perfect" image, those "flaws" will not completely disappear, but are deeply imprisoned in a small black room in the bottom of his heart, accompanied by all kinds of unwilling and aggrieved emotions.
Although at the beginning, they "stay honestly" in the small black room, but over time, the "shortcomings" in the small black room will be ready to move and jump, but just emerging will be suppressed by reason and have to continue to be suppressed.
03
Behind "perfection" are grievances and accusations
However, they do not "keep to themselves" from now on, they will deform and deform into a posture of great grievance, even if there is no clear expression, they will think in their hearts: I am so perfect, why can't you be kind to me? I did so well, it's all your fault that our relationship is not good!
In this way, not only the person who plays the perfect will be depressed and unhappy, but the person who has the "perfect partner" will also be held hostage by the "perfect", and will be equally depressed, unhappy, and angry.
Two depressed, unhappy, unable to be their true selves, the relationship is naturally difficult to deepen, encounter contradictions and conflicts and often "slip over" without being discussed and resolved, the relationship is getting worse and worse, more and more distorted, and finally collapses.
A person's whole life is unlikely to live in disguise forever, if you deliberately act "perfect", then the first to be wronged is yourself, and the second is the other party who is tired.
In fact, the two are not complicated together, think more from each other's point of view, to understand, those entanglements and unpleasantness will always have a way to solve. No one is smarter in the love relationship, no one is the most aggrieved, don't be too demanding on yourself and others, there is no perfect lover in marriage, some are just a perfect fit between the two.
Emotional counseling reminders
If you like a person, it is better to let go of your guard and present your true self to the other party. In this way, if he also happens to like you, then he happens to like your most natural appearance.
Know that authentic self-expression is often more appealing than a deliberate pursuit of "perfection."