Wen | Lily's mother
(i)
Girlfriend Yue Yue sent me a voice call last night, chatting and crying, she said that she just couldn't help but scold her daughter, and afterwards she felt particularly regretful.
She said her daughter threw toys all over the floor, and the colored pencils after painting were scattered on the table. She asked her daughter to clean up, but she didn't hear her.
She couldn't help but murder her daughter a few times, and her daughter cried bitterly, crying while saying that her mother didn't love her anymore. One night the mother and daughter were not in their hearts.
Yue Yue said that she just wanted her daughter to develop a good habit of tidying up, how could her daughter just be disobedient?
I listened to her quietly and comforted: "Your daughter is only 5 years old, she is still just a child, it is right to want her to develop good habits, but you can't expect to simply reprimand the child a few words, and the child will obey." ”
"So what should I do?" Yue Yue was in a hurry.
I said, "On the one hand, don't be too demanding of your children. On the other hand, if you want your child to learn to tidy up, you have to take it slowly, and the child feels afraid that he may obediently clean up. But there will be resistance in the heart, not really willing to clean up, in the future as long as you are not fierce, she still does not clean up. ”
(ii)
I recommended the "21-day Habit Formation Method" to Yue Yue, asked her to print a table, write down the good habits that the child wants to develop, and then discuss it with the child in advance, and then implement it with the child's consent.
Record the completion of the child every day, draw a check mark after the completed item, or paste a smiley face or something, patiently insist on it for 21 days, and the habit will be formed.
Many of my son's good habits were cultivated in this way.
Some mothers said that they also used it, but it didn't work, and the children still littered.
I don't quite believe that using this method has no effect, unless there is a problem with the method, or the implementation is too eager to see the effect. Under normal circumstances, as long as the child is willing to participate, the parents have the patience to insist, there is no unsuccessful, after all, the child is good.
Reprimanding and scolding can see the immediate effect, the child immediately obeys, but there will be many side effects in the later stage.
The "21-day cultivation method" does take more time, but after the habit is formed, it will benefit you for life.
As long as you have confidence, patience, perseverance, and are willing to spend time on your children, there is no reason not to succeed.
(iii)
At the same time, I also gave her another trick, the process is relatively pleasant, is a good way for a mother to be kind and filial.
Insist on reading the picture book story of the "behavior habit formation" department to the child every night, one day or two days will definitely not see any effect, the time is long and subtle, the child will inevitably be affected, learn the character behavior in the story, and unconsciously develop many good habits.
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