When you were a child, did you ever experience being beaten up by your parents?
What kind of impact do you feel have had on your parents' scolding education?
When you grow up to be the parent of others, will you also learn from your parents and educate your children in the form of scolding?
Hitting and scolding is indeed the simplest and most direct way of education, but whether it is effective or not is unknown. This may be counted in many people's minds, but it cannot be told to parents, because it will be crowned, "When you grow up, your wings are hardened, and you will not obey discipline."
So can scolding education really achieve the purpose of educating children, so that children can become the kind of people that parents want them to become? Let's look at two cases.
Case 1: Parental scolding is the most serious burden, even if you go to college, there is no escape
In the impression of college student Xiao Li, from childhood to adulthood, parents will only scold themselves. If things are not done well, they will be scolded by their parents; if their academic performance declines, they will be scolded by their parents; sometimes even if they just say a wrong word, they will be scolded by their parents. Therefore, when encountering difficulties, Xiao Li never dared to open his mouth to his parents, for fear of being scolded by his parents again.
Under the harsh scolding education of his parents, Xiao Li lived up to his expectations and was admitted to a 211 university. But since going to college, Xiao Li has encountered serious psychological problems. The difficulty of the university course and the excellence of the surrounding classmates made Xiao Li have an extremely serious sense of frustration. So he became obsessed with online games, because in online games, he could not think about the things that bothered him, nor did he have to deal with the scolding of his parents.
It can be seen that the scolding of parents is the most serious psychological burden of Xiao Li, even if he goes to college, he cannot escape.
Case two: The difficulty is only temporary, the mother calls to wake up the confused daughter
Xiao Zhang is an excellent college student who is very self-disciplined, confident, self-respecting, and knows how to get along with people. When others encounter difficulties, she will always be the first to comfort others. But in her sophomore year, Xiao Zhang also encountered a psychological obstacle, and she could not go out, and her election for student union cadres failed.
Because of the failure of the campaign, Xiao Zhang fell into his own confusion and could not lift his spirit in doing anything. Reluctantly, Xiao Zhang called his mother and wanted some comfort from his mother. As a result, the mother picked up the phone and scolded Xiao Zhang, "Aren't you usually quite good at comforting others?" How come it's your turn, you can't do it? "I was under the impression that you were a strong girl with self-confidence. But I don't know, you are so cowardly! ”
During the whole phone call, Xiao Zhang did not say a word, and was scolded by his mother to hang up the phone. After hanging up the phone, Xiao Zhang couldn't help but cry. Mom's sentence "You are so cowardly" was so heartfelt that she kept thinking about that sentence in her mind.
Finally, Xiao Zhang stopped crying and once again raised her head confidently and bravely, because she already knew what to do. "Isn't it just a failure?" What's not to like, it's a big deal to regroup and do it again! In this way, the mother woke up the confused daughter with a phone call, so that the daughter understood the truth that "the difficulty is only temporary".
Therefore, scolding children in education is also a way and method, and scolding children like the following will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but may also be counterproductive.
1, as long as the child makes a mistake, he will scold the child.
As the saying goes, "Gold has no feet, no one is perfect", and saints will inevitably make mistakes, let alone children. Therefore, we must allow children to make mistakes, and do not scold children as soon as they make mistakes. Because the result of this can only be that the child can not only remember the reason why he was scolded, but also have a sense of estrangement from his parents. Just like Xiao Li, a college student in Case 1, when he encounters difficulties, he can't remember his parents, and will only choose to escape.
2, do not ask the green and red, just scold the child.
Being scolded because of being wronged by parents is always the deepest wound in the child's heart. Therefore, please do not scold the child without asking, because it will bring great harm to the child's psychology.
3. Scold your child before eating or going to bed.
Hitting children before eating and going to bed is also a taboo for psychologists, because eating and going to bed are the two most relaxed times of the day, and you can ignore learning or other things. If these two times scold the child, it will bring great psychological pressure to the child.
The best thing to do at these two times before eating and going to bed is to communicate with your child. Communication can be about children and keeping abreast of children's physical and mental health; it can also be about family and society, encouraging children to speak their minds and guide children to look at family and society correctly and reasonably.
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