The most ruthless way to quarrel is cold violence, the impact of cold violence on people is light sad, sad, heavy is cold, friends break off or lovers break up, I believe that no one will like cold violence, including children.
What child doesn't make mistakes? Making mistakes, education, criticism, and scolding are all common things, as long as you target the child's wrong behavior rather than his personality and self-esteem, then the child will correct it and develop in the direction you expect.
But when the child makes a mistake, do not use cold violence against him, you think that this can make the child better reflect, in fact, it will only hurt the child's heart, extreme insecurity.
A lot of "cold violence" against children, in fact, you are also doing it!
1, sulking, ignoring the child
When the child is naughty and makes mistakes, even if the child has apologized, the parents may still be angry, or even refuse to accept the child's apology, or ignore the child.
Such an approach has invisibly hurt the child, the child will not realize that the parents are still angry is related to their own mistakes, and the cold violence used by the parents is completely unable to make the child reflect on themselves.
For children, parents scold themselves a thousand times better than cold violence, when children make mistakes, as parents should be patient and reasonable, blindly sulking is useless, and even hurt the feelings with children.
2, just play with their mobile phones
The farthest distance in the world is — I'm sitting in front of you and you're playing with your phone. There are many parents who seem to often accompany their children, but their attention is focused on the mobile phone, ignoring the children on the side.
Over time, it will lead to the child's reluctance to speak, and parents who are not aware of their own behavior will only think that the child has a problem with development.
But this is related to the way parents get along, children will unconsciously imitate the adults, which is very affecting the child's future interactions with people.
3. Do not understand and ignore the enthusiasm of children
When children are still young, they always like to share the fresh, funny, interesting or doubtful things they encounter with their parents.
But many parents are busy with their own things, they will ignore the enthusiasm of their children, children will not get a response, for a long time, children will feel that their parents do not love themselves, frustration, natural sense of security will also be missing.
I would like to ask parents how disappointed you are when you are excited to share an interesting thing with others, but you do not get a corresponding response.
Therefore, parents should also compare their hearts to their hearts when getting along with their children, and don't think that they don't understand anything.
4. External emotions bring to children
A person's life is not always smooth, there are always a lot of bad things in the outside, and if they are not solved for a while, it is inevitable that they will bring emotions home, especially to their children.
Children can not understand the reason why their parents are unhappy, when children run into a wall with their parents for no reason, they will feel that it is their own reasons that make their parents unhappy.
In turn, guilt and self-blame arise, and slowly there will be a lack of self-confidence, so no matter what, do not bring external emotions home, which is also a responsibility to the family.
Be a good parent, pay attention to words and deeds, do not be cold and violent to children, and do not invisibly ruin a child.