Text/Laughing Snow Parenting Thinking
Recently, I was chasing this year's hit drama "The World", and I couldn't stop watching it from the beginning, and I unconsciously saw 39 episodes.
Although I haven't seen it all, but from my mother's point of view, I really don't like the role of "Zhou Rong" in the play, every time Zhou Rong and Yue Yue appear, there will also be many netizens' comments on the pop-up screen " Not worthy of being a mother" will appear.
Indeed, I also feel that a mother like Zhou Rong in the play is "not worthy of being a mother", and it is difficult to harvest a harmonious mother-daughter relationship.
Zhou Rong always kept her daughter Yue Yue at someone else's house
In this drama, Zhou Rong corresponded with the poet Feng Huacheng at the age of 15 when she was in the second year of junior high school, and later established a romantic relationship, and after the "love brain" was on the body, she went to Guizhou at all costs, and married Feng Huacheng there and gave birth to a daughter Yue Yue.
When the two of them first went home to visit their relatives, because Feng Huacheng had no political consciousness, after reciting poems at the station to cause trouble, he sent Yue Yue to others to send to the Zhou family's parents, and since then Yue Yue has lived in the homes of his brother-in-law, uncle, grandmother, and grandfather for many years.
Later, Zhou Rong and Feng Huacheng went to Beijing to go to school and work, but they still did not take Yue Yue home, and then they also returned to Jichun, or did not take the actual action of taking Yue Yue home.
Yue Yue lived in the brother-in-law's house until the second year of junior high school, the brother-in-law's family because they wanted to move back to the old house, the room really could not be lived, and at this time Zhou Rong actually let Yue Yue live in the uncle's house, this residence, it was more than two years.
The lack of companionship in the parent-child relationship is a disaster for the child
In the TV series, Yue Yue once said a passage, saying that Uncle Guangming had told her that every child is an angel and will lie on the clouds to choose a mother, and finally Yue Yue said, "Why am I so blind?"
Feng Yue also said that if she had a child in the future, she would definitely take him with her, no matter how difficult.
It can be seen that Yue Yue herself also thinks that Zhou Rong is not a competent mother.
Although some of the things Yue Yue does in the play are also quite speechless, such as after her grandfather retires, she is worried about whether her room will be "occupied"; she knows that falling in love with Nan Nan will expose Zheng Juan's past, she still has no remorse; lack of politeness when she is at her uncle's house, and so on.
But I think that many of the shortcomings of Yue Yue have a lot to do with the absence of her biological parents in her growth process, and the lack of companionship of the parent-child relationship is the disaster of the child.
Parents should accompany their children's growth
Professor Li Meijin has repeatedly talked about the importance of parent-child companionship in the book. For example —
"Children's problems are often created by adults, and every psychological or behavioral problem of children must be related to the behavior of parents and the way parents are educated."
——— problems stem from early parenting (from Psychological Parenting)
The psychological upbringing of children needs to be raised by parents themselves, rather than letting children send people to the fence from an early age, even if they are like a family, it is better to put their children by their side.
There was a cousin in the hometown, when the daughter was three years old, the two quarreled, the cousin drank medicine to end her life, the cousin ran away, and the child was thrown to the grandparents.
The little girl grew up in an environment without the company of her parents, although her grandparents were also very good to her, but it was only a material life, and the child's inner world and spiritual needs were ignored.
In this way, the little girl also finished high school and entered XX Normal University, but she did not finish her sophomore year and then quit school, why? It turned out that she and a social person who was working on a computer repair on campus got along, and after living together and getting pregnant, the man asked her to take a break from school and get married and have children.
In this way, the girl's youth, which was just about to bloom, came to an abrupt end.
I think the root cause of the girl's tragedy lies in the fact that she lacks the company of her parents since she was a child, so "lack of love", once she sets foot in society, it is easy to be put on the emotional shackles.
Like Yue Yue in "The World of Man", her growth process is lonely, inferior, and loveless.
After all, childhood is the beginning of life, and it lays the foundation for a person's life. If the child lives in an environment lacking from the parents from an early age, the child's weak mind will have no pillars, and the personality will become withdrawn, sensitive, introverted and rebellious, which will have a great impact on the child's growth, and even affect their life.
Moreover, the growth of children is irreversible, the lack of childhood is also permanent, and it is also impossible to make up for it with more money and a favorable environment in the future.