Recently, my family and I have been chasing the hit drama "The World", which is very resonant, and my family, especially the elderly, often cry a handful of snot and a handful of tears.
The realism and human feelings of this drama make people feel very pyrotechnic.
But after watching it, the 4 parenting principles inspired by the TV series are really very good, and the sooner all parents understand it, the greater the help for their children's growth.
Inclusion is the best care for children
After the drama was broadcast, there was a saying that went viral on the Internet: stupid children are here to repay favors, and smart children are here to collect debts.
The eldest son, Zhou Bingyi, and the second daughter, Zhou Rong, have been academic bullies since childhood, and have been admitted to Peking University, the eldest son has become a leader, and the daughter has become a university professor.
The stupid old three Zhou Bingkun, who grew up poor in school, first worked as a worker in a timber factory, and then found a relationship to go to the soy sauce factory, mediocre.
Dad thought he was the least successful person in the family, and once pointed to his nose and asked, "Let you go to college, can you pass the exam?" ”
But Zhou Bingkun, I think the greatest contribution to the family. In particular, zhou's mother became a "vegetative person" for two years, he went to work during the day, massaged and scrubbed his mother at night, and chatted with him...
At the same time, he also had to take care of his sister's foster niece Yue Yue, one hand was a comatose mother, the other hand was an ignorant niece, but all his suffering and tiredness were carried down alone.
In real life, similar situations are also played out from time to time.
The one who can take care of his parents when he is old is often the stupid child who can see it all the time.
In the play, the Zhou family's mother did a good job of this, and treated Zhou Bingkun with special tolerance, even if the third elder was inferior to his brother and sister in some aspects, he has always been the baby knot in the heart of the Zhou family's mother, and has never changed because he did not study well and could not go to college.
Every child has thoughts and emotions, he needs to be seen, supported, encouraged, but more needs to be tolerated, especially when he is not good enough.
Children are the best gifts brought by heaven to parents, each child is a unique little angel in the world, what parents have to do is to take care of him to grow better, give him deep tolerance and understanding, and let him thrive into a towering tree.
We love children, we must learn to tolerate children, for children, parents' tolerance is the best love.
Accept the ordinary, accept the ordinary, just as you can live this life, for stupid children, tolerance is more than all love.
Companionship is the best gift for children
In the play, Zhou Rong, from a young age, is proud and confident, and feels that the biggest failure in her life is not handled well with her relationship with her daughter Yue yue.
Zhou Rong put Yue Yue in her brother's house from childhood, and when Yue Yue grew up, she found that she was not close to her, and she was anxious to take Yue Yue to her side.
Later, he peeked at his daughter's diary, which made the mother-daughter relationship between the two worse.
Zhou Rong was always confused that her own daughter did not listen to her own words. The reason is that all the critical periods of Yue Yue's growth, she almost missed them all.
She did not know that at the age when children needed the company of their parents the most, she did not give Yue Yue enough security and companionship, which directly led to their poor parent-child relationship.
Parent-child relationship is not good, wait until the child grows up, parents to discipline, the child will not listen to you, because the parent-child relationship is the premise of education!
Don't miss the critical period of your child's development. What can I do without missing it? Only companionship!
There is such a story about parent-child companionship.
A father who is a lawyer is particularly busy at work, and it is more than 10 o'clock when he returns home from work, and his daughter, who is almost 5 years old, asks her father for 100 yuan.
Dad didn't know why the child wanted money so late, but he still gave it.
After the daughter got the money, she held her piggy bank from her room and said, "I heard my mother say that you are charged by the hour as a lawyer, and 1 hour is 500 yuan, right?" ”
The daughter looked up and continued: "I saved 400 yuan, plus the 100 yuan just now, exactly 500 yuan, can I buy you for 1 hour to accompany me?" You haven't played a game with me in a long time! ”
Dad was ashamed to hear it!
When I really want to come, I don't have much time with my children.
Children are all before the age of three.
After the age of six it was morning and evening.
After the age of twelve it was the weekend.
After the age of eighteen, the family is winter vacation and summer vacation.
After marriage, there is only New Year's Eve.
Some people say, I want to work to support my family, I am really busy!
But no matter how busy you are, do you not have time to spend 10 minutes with your children every day? Busy, are there any national leaders busy?
Former U.S. President Barack Obama was busiest in the campaign, but even during the 21-month campaign, he never missed a parent-teacher meeting for his children, and he took time out of his week to spend with his children.
He once said, "I'm not going to be president for the rest of my life, but I'm going to be a good father for the rest of my life." "This dad, who was once the busiest in the world, gave his children the best quality companionship.
Companionship is really the best gift for children, and it is also the gift that children most desire to get.
Acceptance is the greatest affirmation of children
In the play, what impressed me the most was the quarrel that broke out in the bedroom between Zhou Bingkun and his father after years of estrangement.
A middle-aged man cried with tears on his face and said that he was raised by a father and a mother, and I did not show up.
His father angrily accused him of not saying that what he said was not true!
But Zhou Bingkun has been filial to his parents, thoughtful to his children, and righteous to his friends all his life, and I think he is the most competent and excellent son, but the father has not accepted his son.
In real life, there are indeed many parents who are always accustomed to using academic performance to measure the good and bad of a child:
"How are you so stupid?"
"You see how many points other people get."
"You're so angry, I'm so disappointed in you."
………
But "The World of Man" tells us: a child's good or bad can't just look at academic performance!
As long as the child loves life, is industrious, kind and filial, he is a good child, and can even be better than a child with good grades.
We must respect and accept the differences of children, because every child's qualifications are inherently different.
If he is mediocre, he will take pleasure on his knees, and if he is outstanding, let him spread his wings and fly high.
There is a story like this that moved me very much.
There was a mother, her son was in elementary school, and after a parent-teacher meeting, the teacher told her that her son got the last place in the intelligence test, his IQ was lower than normal, and it was best to go to the hospital to check it out.
The mother didn't explain too much, she knew that her son was not a stupid child, just because he was born prematurely, he was in a hurry to come to this world, and he was not very adaptable.
On the way home, my son asked, "Mom, did the teacher quietly tell you something?" Do you mean I'm a stupid kid? ”
The mother's nose was sour, and the tears almost flowed down.
But she said to her son, "The teacher praised you, and the teacher said that you are not a stupid child, as long as you are more careful, your grades will be much better than they are now."
She found that when her son heard this, his eyes lit up a lot. In later days, I studied more seriously.
After my son went to middle school, after another parent-teacher meeting, the class teacher stopped his mother and said, "With your son's current grades, it is a bit dangerous to enter a key university."
The mother was very surprised, because in the past many parent-teacher meetings, her son's name appeared in the ranks of poor students.
After returning home, she told her son: "The class teacher is very satisfied with your grades, as long as you work harder, you can be admitted to a key university." ”
My son graduated from high school, and the college acceptance letter was sent to his home, and the courier was printed on the courier of a 985 university.
The son cried with the notice, hugged his mother and cried: "Mom, I know that I am not a smart child, thank you for accepting me, always appreciating me, affirming me, and encouraging me!"
This story moves me very much, we must learn to accept the child's imperfections like the mother in the story, and at the same time continue to motivate the child, so that the child can make greater progress.
How to accept children from the bottom of their hearts, especially those with poor academic performance?
First, accept your anxiety.
Parents "hope that the son of Jackie Chan" is very normal, I hope that he can grow into a talent in the future, can have a brighter future, can understand.
But don't transfer your excessive anxiety to your child and put him under too much pressure.
Adjust their own mentality, let the child lightly pack, the child will have his own future, the parents have fulfilled the obligation of lifting, and the hard work is the baby's own business.
Second, accept the child's ordinariness.
Many parents say that after several years of tossing and turning, they finally do not admit it: their children are an ordinary person.
At this time, think: as long as the child is healthy and happy, the family can be together, what is wrong with being an ordinary person?
What's more, each baby has its own shining point, all are unique, and you need eyes that are good at discovery.
Accepting the child from the bottom of your heart is the greatest affirmation of the child.
Respect is the warmest education for children
Respect is very important in the process of educating children, which is easier said than done.
In "In the World", although Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan are the lowest-educated in the Zhou family, they have done a good job of respecting their children.
Especially when Yu Hong proposed that they wanted a house in Taiping Hutong, they did not make their own decisions, but sought the opinion of their son Congcong, fully respecting the child's ideas.
Compared with Zhou Rong, yue yue did not have equal respect.
Zhou Rong, who peeked at her daughter's diary, felt that she cared about her children and did nothing wrong.
If you understand that your child also has privacy, you should seriously apologize to your daughter.
In addition to apologizing to the child, we should learn to respect the child, and we should not always be on the top because we are elders. Zhou Rong's attitude and ideas do not change, and she will never be able to educate her children.
Only by respecting the child, striving to become the child's friend, putting themselves and the child in an equal position, and opening their hearts, can parents enter the child's heart and communicate happily.
Enough respect for the child, and the child to become the best friend, and the child's parent-child relationship is very harmonious, this is the warmest education.
At the same time, leave a private space for children and don't ask everything thoroughly.
Allow him to have little secrets so that he can find a sense of respect and understanding, and so that he will also bring the parents and children closer together.
After watching "The World of Man", what is your biggest feeling? Comment area message Oh, remember to like and follow yo!
This article is original by Coco Ma, welcome to pay attention, take you along with long knowledge!