Text/Li Zi Yan
Figure/ From the Internet, infringement contact deleted
The child is the crystallization of the love of every parent, and it is a piece of flesh that falls from the mother's body, so the relationship between the child and the parents is the closest love.
In the mind of every parent, it is always believed that everything that is best for the child should be given, and there is no distance between the child and the child, so as to reflect the characteristics of blood relatives.
However, children will grow up one day, they are no longer satisfied with staying in the world of their parents, they meet their friends, colleagues, lovers, and slowly, the ideas originally taught by their parents will also change, and their parents will no longer be the only ones in their lives.
Some parents can't accept the distance between their children and themselves, and will say some things that should not be said, not only does not keep the family relationship harmonious, but also makes the family more suspicious.
Entering old age, we must understand that there must be a little distance between people and people, because distance produces beauty, which is an eternal and unchangeable truth. Especially with children, these words would rather rot in the stomach than say them to the children.
One: About the amount of one's own property
I remember the most curious thing when I was a child was how much money my parents had. Every time they ask their parents, they will always say with the sentence "Adult things, children less inquire." to refuse to answer. I think many people have experienced this.
In fact, this is the wise parent.
In life, some families are too doting on their children, and they will reveal their family wealth to their children early, perhaps in order to let their children have face in front of others, or to make children more dependent on themselves.
Either way, doing so would create a hidden crisis.
Children know the family background, always think that everything has parents to rely on, learning will not work hard, no longer work hard at work, they think that even if their grades are not good, there is no job in the future, anyway, there are parents who can support themselves.
In terms of thinking, children are not thinking of making progress, and the idea of nibbling on the old will slowly corrode their hearts.
In other families, the children know that their parents have a strong family foundation, and they fight for property, making six relatives not recognize.
When Zhang was young, he started from scratch and opened a construction company, and the benefits have been booming over the years. He himself usually loves antiques, and he also collects a lot, sometimes selling them to others, which is a lot of money.
Lao Zhang only had a son in his 40s, and the mood of the old man made him doting on his son, and he would try everything to satisfy what his son wanted. Now my son is a sophomore, but he can't read well. He eats and drinks with a group of fox friends all day long, and often goes in and out of some high-consumption places.
Every time everyone coaxed Zhang Gongzi to pay the bill, just like that, Xiao Zhang's pocket money was not enough, at first he also opened his mouth and Lao Zhang wanted, and then directly and quietly took Lao Zhang's antiques to sell. Once, when he was arrested by Lao Zhang, his son said: "Anyway, you also said that our family has more money, and it is left for me to spend." ”
Smart parents will not easily give their children a bottom, will let the family relationship develop benignly, otherwise once broken, it will hurt each other.
Two: Dissatisfaction and disappointment with children
Every parent has the hope of "hoping that the child will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix". Some parents are constantly encouraging their children to make greater progress, but others always say something derogatory to stimulate his progress.
However, psychology points out that the language of encouraging children is more important than the language of criticism. The teaching of children should be more encouraged and praised, and less criticized and counted. In this way, the child will be more confident in the process of growing up, and the child will be more excellent.
In the TV series "In the World", the three brothers and sisters of the Zhou family, the eldest Zhou Bingyi and the second Zhou Rong are the leaders of the school, and when they grow up, one becomes a vice mayor and one becomes a university professor.
Only the youngest son, Zhou Bingkun, did not study well since he was a child, and became a worker in a soy sauce factory after graduation. Therefore, in the eyes of the father, he was prejudiced against the younger son, thinking that he did not stand out like his older brother and sister.
When Zhou Bingkun was at the railway station, his father shouted in front of everyone: "Your mother who raises cerebral thrombosis sequelae, your sister's child, and other people's sons are the steps your father gave you!" Even without these drags, on your grades, year after year, can you get into college? ”
There was also a quarrel, Bingkun said: "You are a father, have you considered my feelings?" The same father and mother were born and raised, and I did not show up the most, I just wanted to make you and my mother satisfied. But what about you? Sprinkle salt on the wound and poke you where it hurts. ”
Father Zhou said, "Then isn't what I said the truth?" Bingkun said, "Even if it's a fact, you can't say that?" How hard I feel, you know? ”
Bingkun's question seems to have spoken a lot of voices for children.
No matter how far children go, the biggest reliance in their hearts is always their parents, and a word of support and recognition from their parents will also become their most powerful encouragement. Parents who always accuse their children of their shortcomings do not know how much psychological trauma these words will cause to their children.
Three: Treat your children with a bowl of water
Some families have more than one child, and when there are many children, it will be difficult for parents to be as pampered as when treating a child. There is always a preference for a child.
In "All Is Good", the harm brought to her by Mingyu's original family made everyone watching this drama feel very sad. Mother Su was always very concerned about her two sons, but she did not like her daughter Su Mingyu so much.
Su Mingyu because of her mother's preference for sons and daughters, throughout the childhood was highly despised, when she wanted to buy a roll when she went to school, Su Mingyu refused to give money, and later wanted to apply for a tutoring class to enter a good university, and her mother did not give her a registration fee.
However, her son Su Mingcheng went out on a trip, and Su Mu immediately took out two thousand yuan. In the house of the family, Su Mu gave it to the eldest brother and the second brother, but did not give it to her. At that time, Mingyu was admitted to Tsinghua, but was arranged by his mother to be a teacher.
Su Mu's attitude towards Mingyu and the other two sons could not be leveled by a bowl of water in every matter. It also brought mingyu family damage that could not be erased from childhood to adulthood.
However, in the end, the most prominent person in the Su family was Mingyu, and every time the Su family encountered a hurdle that could not be passed, it was Mingyu who went to level it one by one.
As parents, in their attitude towards their children, we cannot always favor one and ignore the other.
The relationship between parents and children is the most important factor. Many times, what parents say to their children should be selective and cannot be put out, which is to maintain family harmony, harmony, and the wisdom of love.