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"The child who didn't show up was here to repay the favor."
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What is the most popular TV series in the first half of 2022? That's none other than "The World."
This TV series adapted from Liang Xiaosheng's novel of the same name tells the story of a northern Zhou family in which his father Zhou Zhigang participated in the construction of the "Great Third Line" in the southwest, the eldest son Zhou Bingyi became one of the first to go to the countryside to know the youth, and the eldest daughter Zhou Rong followed the poet's husband to the countryside of Guizhou, leaving only the story of the third brother Zhou Bingkun and Zhou Mother.
In the warm atmosphere created by this era drama, we not only see the changes in the lives of chinese people in the past fifty years, but also see the regrets, emotions and wisdom in Chinese-style family education.
01
The story is set against the backdrop
The three brothers and sisters of the Zhou family, the old third Zhou Bingkun is "the most stupid".
The support of parents and the development environment of the whole of China made Zhou Bingyi and Zhou Rong study and finally enter the city's key high school and enter Peking University. One of them rose from director of the Agency for Cultural Affairs to provincial cadres after graduation; one returned to his hometown to teach at a provincial key university after graduation and became the youngest associate professor.
The eldest brother Zhou Bingyi and the second sister Zhou Rong had good academic performance and were admitted to Peking University, and then the eldest brother became the vice mayor, and the second sister became the youngest university professor in the school. Only Zhou Bingkun didn't understand anything, he didn't even graduate from junior high school, and he kept his old mother to take care of the family's big things and small feelings.
02
The younger son of "worthless"
Old Third Zhou Bingkun is the one who "mixed badly" in the eyes of outsiders. And from childhood to adulthood, his father Zhou Zhigang compared Zhou Bingkun with the eldest and second eldest, mocking him. He didn't feel his son's dedication to the family at all, but instead said hurtfully: "You raise your sick mother and take your sister's child, that's the step that your father gave you." Even without these drags, can you get into college with your grades, counting down year after year? In the heart of his father Zhou Zhigang, the younger son is useless, only worthy of serving the elderly and watching the children at home.
Even Zhou Zhigang would consciously or unconsciously show off the achievements of his eldest son and daughter every time he went out, and these words were like knives piercing Zhou Bingkun's self-esteem.
In the face of his father's accusations, Zhou Bingkun lost control of his emotions and roared at his father: "They are all born by one father and one mother, and they are all raised by one father and one mother." As long as I didn't come out, how bad I am, you know? What's going on? In my life, my greatest wish is to make my father and my mother satisfied with me. ”
Zhou Bingkun, who has always lived under the aura of his brothers and sisters, and who is eager to be seen and recognized by his family, has accumulated too many grievances, because this inferiority, this disappointment, this anxiety, and this pressure have affected too many choices and lives.
Rather than saying that this sadistic interpretation is a classic scene in "The World", it is more a microcosm of many real family lives.
Who is excellent, who is stupid, who is smart, who is cowardly, this is not only a short talk in the eyes of outsiders, but also a scale in the hearts of parents, they will unconsciously have a bias in their hearts, and that proud gaze will always inadvertently burn the self-esteem of another child.
Perhaps the inadvertent actions of parents cannot affect the final parent-child relationship and brotherhood, but the subtle imbalance relationship invisibly makes the contradictions and disputes between brothers and sisters, family and friendship love, and the disputes difficult.
The "key" to resolving "worldly" family education disputes is actually mediation.
Can this "key" make us clear that differences in educational methods are really the root cause of family conflicts and disputes?
How to grasp the principles of family education?
Is it appropriate to teach families without spiritual food?
Is education with sound personality necessary?
Is there a mediation method for disputes caused by different parenting concepts?
Starting from the family's educational environment, we specially invited four front-line experts and scholars in the industry to use this "key" to answer these questions.
focus:
1. Is the difference in parenting style the root cause of family conflicts and disputes?
2. How to grasp the principles of family education?
3. Is it appropriate for a tutor without spiritual food?
4. Is personality integrity education an inevitable requirement of psychology?
5. What is the method of family dispute mediation caused by different educational concepts?
Guests:
Zeng Xiaoliang - a well-known expert on marital emotions
Summer - Deputy Director of the Marriage and Family Committee of the China Life Care Association
Hou Liwei is the deputy director of the Marriage, Family and Wealth Inheritance Committee of Qingdao Lawyers Association
Lan Chunyan is a member of the Marriage and Family Committee of the China Life Care Association