Keigo Higashino has a passage in "Shisheng": "Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they can't choose their parents, what kind of cards are issued to you, you can only try to play it well." ”
There is an old saying in China that the family has a treasure, if there is an old, but unfortunately, not all the elderly can act as the helmsman and pillar of the life of their children and grandchildren.
The existence of some old people not only cannot make the family prosperous, but also drags the hind legs of their children and grandchildren.
Parents are a child's first teacher, and the idea of teaching by example is not empty talk. Only by acting rightly can one be virtuous, and only by walking uprightly can one be virtuous, and only with virtue can one be worthy of rich wealth.
The towering tree is directly related to the roots, and whether the flowers and fruits are luxuriant is also related to the trunk and roots. The virtue of the old man in the family is like the root of the tree, controlling the rise and fall of a family.
For those old people who have a family in their hearts and truly think about their children, daughters and grandchildren, we must give corresponding feedback, respect, and filial piety.
On the other hand, if unfortunately, there are these three kinds of elderly people in a family, which indicates the beginning of the decline of a family, please check yourself.
Selfish, unscrupulous old man
The mainland pays the most attention to the orderly respect and inferiority, which is a tradition. Respecting the elderly is a good thing, and it is also our responsibility for the children of people, but in the face of those selfish, unscrupulous old people, if they still let it go, they have entered a misunderstanding.
Presumably, everyone has seen the hit drama "All Is Good", and the image of Su Daqiang created in it has really subverted everyone's three views.
He is the typical kind of old man who does not understand his children, everything he does is completely for himself, picking bones in eggs, and completely becoming a churning stick in the family.
The family and personal lives of the last three children were torn apart and torn apart by him.
The foolish filial piety of the boss Su Mingzhe made him promise to take his father to the United States to retire when he was incompetent, and also promised to buy him a three-bedroom house, and finally almost divorced his wife Wu Fei;
Although the second elder Su Mingcheng is unreliable, he also takes the old father to the home to take care of, but it is this connection that stirs up the uneasiness in the family and also divorces his wife Zhu Li;
Although the third elder Su Mingyu was in the spirit of staying out of the matter, he was also dragged and pulled by Su Daqiang, both to pay and contribute, and finally it was very likely that he would have to take care of his father who suffered from Alzheimer's disease...
Su Daqiang wants money and face for a room, and in the middle, he runs away from home in order to spend with his nanny Cai Gen, and it is difficult for his children to get happiness in the face of such a selfish and capable old man.
Son preference, "selective blindness" of the elderly
The ancients did not suffer from widowhood but from unevenness. Su Mu in "All Is Good" is a typical representative of this type of old man.
She herself was originally persecuted by the idea of emphasizing males over women, and was forced to choose Su Daqiang in order to change her brother's household registration, resulting in her sad marriage.
However, Su Mu not only did not think that there was a mistake in favoring sons over daughters, but also passed down this idea and integrated it into her own life, directly causing the first half of her own daughter Su Mingyu's incurable life.
In order to let the eldest son have money to go abroad, Su Mu did not hesitate to sell Su Mingyu's room, Su Mingyu went home to see his college entrance examination revision materials were randomly discarded at the door, and only then did he know about selling the house.
The family eats chicken, two chicken legs are always the eldest brother, one second brother and one brother, there is no Su Mingyu's share. But for the housework at home, she had to do the most.
Let the eldest brother study abroad with money, let Su Mingyu go to his favorite university but not, Su Mu forcibly helped her apply for a normal school with low fees... If Su Mingyu had not miraculously met his master, then it would never have been possible to achieve his current career.
For this kind of "selective blind" elderly, her son preference behavior can easily cause the habitual acceptance of the son and the low self-identification of the daughter. In this way, it is difficult for both children to have great development.
Confused, excessive interference with the elderly of children
It is said in the "Augmented Sage Text" that the second elder of the hall is a living Buddha, and why should the Lingshan Dynasty be respected.
If the elderly in a family can distinguish between right and wrong and make the family full of harmony, it should naturally be respected. But those old people who always intervene in the children's families and destroy their children's lives are either bad or unclear.
That kind of moral kidnapping in the name of "good for you" is essentially a kind of cross-border. In the name of love, to do harm is equivalent to hurt.
After Su Mingcheng's mother died, because Su Daqiang lived in the old house, he was afraid of always making a fuss, and he had no choice but to take it back to his home.
Zhu Daqiang is not accustomed to his son and daughter-in-law not being diligent, sleeping until noon every day to get up; on weekdays, his son and daughter-in-law go to work, Su Daqiang can't cook at home alone, his daughter-in-law ordered takeaway, and he called his son to complain that the meal was not delicious.
This made Zhu Li feel a little uncomfortable, the meal she ordered for Zhu Daqiang at noon was expensive, and she was usually reluctant to eat it.
In the evening, the two children went home, as soon as they opened the door, they were stunned, there were a bunch of people sitting in the living room, the smell of cigarettes was pungent, the house was a dirty mess, and Su Daqiang also instructed his daughter-in-law to quickly cook meals so that the old friends could eat.
People must have a sense of proportion when they are alive, and when people are old, they must be able to carry it clearly. Especially when you are not in your own home, you must think more about the feelings of others.
There is a sense of boundaries between people, and virtue is also mutually inspiring. Virtuous parents will naturally inspire their children, while poorly virtuous parents can only recruit the children of poorly blessed or even rebellious families.
The old man has no morality, and the family is in disaster.
Whether a family can prosper and whether the children and grandchildren can prosper is closely related to the elderly in this family. If you want the family to rise, there must be a guide, and the virtue of parents is the foundation of children.
An old man with full spirit and high moral standing is mostly an example for future generations, and he can also lead a spiritual family. Such a family core force is relatively strong, and it is sooner or later to become rich.
In terms of the current family composition, it is usually three generations of young and old. If the older generation can do a good job of the overall family style, the younger generations behind will naturally get used to it and learn from it, so that future generations will be used.
And it can be said that the upper beam is not correct, the lower beam is crooked, if some elders take the family style off, then it is difficult for this family to get the blessing of Fuze.
"There will be more than enough in the house of good, and there will be a remnant of the house of the unkind." If you want a family blessing to continue, the old man must be cautious and virtuous, on the contrary, it is the beginning of family failure.
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[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]