A philosopher once said that the relationship between people is as complex and unpredictable as the reef under the undercurrent.
Logically, we should be enthusiastic about those who love us and have little affection for strangers who have nothing to do with each other.
However, in real life, we find that there are many people today who have little affection for their families and are passionate about strangers who have nothing to do with each other.
Such irrationality is the norm of reality.
After some experience, I believe we will understand that the idealized world will talk about logic. The real world, on the other hand, is an illogical script that leaves us at a loss.
For humanity in this world, we need to remember such a sentence, don't use your own hot face to stick other people's cold ass, this is a kind of self-esteem and self-love.
In the face of those who don't love us, we don't have to pay much attention to them. And for those who are too thin and cannot distinguish between right and wrong, we must treat each other with a cruel heart.
Those who are particularly enthusiastic about outsiders and have a special affection for their families are often the following 5 types of people.
01
The first type of people: people who are horizontal in the nest and instigated outside.
In real life, there is such a saying: "The nest is horizontal, and the outside is instigated." ”
Some people have no principles and only lose their temper with the people in the family, but are particularly enthusiastic about outsiders and even maintain a humble posture.
Why are they strong on their families but weak on outsiders? Because they have found out the details of their families, they only dare to bully their families. And they are difficult to find out the details of outsiders, they will only listen to outsiders.
The essence of the nest and the outside is the disguised "bullying the soft and afraid of the hard" in disguise. In the past, people would only bully outsiders, but today people will bully their loved ones. This is the transformation of human nature.
In the final analysis, it is the world that changes people's concepts, makes people's concepts distorted.
For these confused eggs who cannot distinguish between right and wrong, we cannot let them go unchecked, but we need to dissuade them in time, and even fight back appropriately.
02
The second type of person: people who can't tell the difference between the important and the heavy.
The greatest ability of a person should be to distinguish between right and wrong, and to distinguish priorities. We must know who we have a soft affection for and a passion for whom.
Why do some people have bad family relations, and why do some people have prominent family conflicts?
It is because they have done certain wrong things, did not distinguish between the important and the heavy, and finally offended the family and affected the feelings between relatives. In the end, all contradictions and problems will occur frequently.
Why do people like this appear so often?
From a psychological point of view, because the distance between relatives is too close, it produces a psychology of extreme disgust. In the end, mutual calculations between relatives will become the norm.
03
The third category of people: people who only want to vent their anger.
The husband has worked hard all day, and when he comes home, he sees his wife lying on the sofa playing with his mobile phone, and I believe that he will be particularly angry and sprinkle his resentment on his wife. In this way, the contradiction between husband and wife will appear.
The wife was at home with children for a day and was particularly tired. However, when she found that her husband was paralyzed in bed when he came home and did nothing, she believed that his wife would be furious.
Whenever we see such a problem, I believe we will sigh, why can't relatives have more tolerance and less complaints?
Unfortunately, due to the weakness of human nature, very few people can achieve "inclusive compromise". Perhaps, targeting and extremism are the truth of human nature.
In fact, if we want family conflicts to appear less, we only need to be "tolerant".
Be tolerant of the trivialities of life, tolerate unnecessary mistakes, be tolerant of yourself, be tolerant of the world. That's all.
04
The fourth category of people: overly contrived people.
When it comes to family, I think of Su Daqiang in "All Is Good".
Su Daqiang is particularly attentive to Xiao Cai, a nanny who cheats money and cheats on the house, and is particularly cruel to his three children. In Su Daqiang's view, trying to satisfy himself and make his children miserable is his goal.
Why are there such elders in the family?
In fact, it is not that the elders are bad, but that the bad people get old, and the bad people become the elders. Just think, he was a bad person in his early years, then even if he is a person in his old age, he may not be able to get much better.
For these people, we can summarize it in one word, that is, "contrived.".
Some elders in the family will only think that other people's children are better, but think that their children are not good. In this way, they will do a lot of ridiculous things. In the end, it is his own family who suffers.
05
The fifth category of people: people who have no gratitude.
The best relationship between people is that I am good to you, you are also good to me, both sides are at peace with each other, you respect me a foot, I give you a foot.
Let's say you're a particularly grateful person, but you've met someone who isn't. So, how do you feel? You can only feel that "good intentions are not rewarded".
In this world, there are not only bad people who have no gratitude, but also relatives who do not have a grateful heart.
Perhaps, it will be a little harsh to say, and it will make people feel chills. However, this is an immutable human reality.
We can't change others, so we can only be ourselves.
In dealing with our loved ones, we must still be grateful and worthy of the conscience of heaven and earth. And what others do, that is someone else's business, we don't have to care, we can't control.
It's just that in a family, you and I will not look up after all. So why can't we live in harmony? This is a question that deserves our careful consideration.
Wen/Shushan has deer