He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
What is good love?
Good feelings, you are flowers, the other party is water; Or you are water, the other is the flower, you nourish each other, bring each other life and hope.
What about bad feelings?
With each other, not only do you not feel nourished, but you feel that you are withering little by little.
Love can bring positive energy, but it will also "devour" people.
When your relationship comes to an end, you can actually feel some "signals".
-01
With each other, you are "worthless"
It is not that you yourself are worthless, but that you seem worthless and worthless in the eyes of the other party.
The other person is an "accusatory partner".
No matter what you do, what you say, what you get, what you give to him, you will never be able to satisfy him.
He is used to hitting your self-confidence and mocking your grades.
With him, you feel as if you are worthless.
Over time, you fall into the "PUA" trap he set for you.
He tries to complete the manipulation of you by hitting you.
A good relationship will definitely make you feel self-worth and amplify your strengths.
For example:
Before falling in love with each other, you had low self-esteem; But after falling in love with him, he encourages you and supports you little by little with patience, energy and gentleness.
He can always find the sparkle in you and admire you from the bottom of his heart.
Your love and union has transformed you from low self-esteem to a confident person.
Conversely:
If you are with each other, you are not happy at all, but you become more and more inferior, thinking that you have no value.
At this time, please be sure to stop the loss in time.
Only by leaving a bad relationship can you find yourself.
-02
Loss of desire to "share and communicate"
What is one of the techniques for managing love?
Desire to share and communicate.
Share Desire:
With each other, you suddenly become a "chatterbox".
No matter what you see, think, feel, even if it is a flash of inspiration in your mind, you will share it with each other as soon as possible.
What meals you eat, what you sleep for a few hours, what you are busy with at work, what you talk about with friends, even if you see stray cats and dogs on the side of the road, you will take pictures and share them with each other.
What you want to share is not the thing itself, but the other person wants to feel your presence.
"Even if the other person is not by your side, he can still participate in your life."
What is shared is the longing and love for your partner.
Desire to communicate:
This is a must for business relationships.
Communication, including positive communication, resolving conflicts, but also arguing and expressing dissatisfaction with each other.
Only with communication can feelings continue to operate.
What is the manifestation of love disappearing?
You live together, but you become "transparent people" in each other's eyes.
It is obviously the love of two people, but you feel that there is no difference from the days of being single.
Still lonely, still helpless, still ununderstood.
When you are with each other, you completely lose the desire to share and communicate, which means that your relationship has really come to an end.
-03
Your feelings, there is a "fork in the road"
What does that mean?
Simply put:
Your irreconcilable opinions on future planning and life requirements have emerged.
For you:
You think that people should work hard and should be alive.
You work hard, you work hard, you are self-motivated, and you think that you should not mess up, but try to live every day.
For him:
He is tired, he doesn't want to work hard, he just wants to live a simple life; As long as he earns enough money for living expenses, he is very satisfied.
Your ideas diverged, and your plans for life were completely different.
At this time, feelings are like a suspension bridge swaying in the wind.
From another perspective:
You find that you and the other person have less and less common topics.
He talks about games, gossip, all kinds of boring neighborhood stories.
What you like is career, talking about scenery, talking about travel, talking about film and television and literature.
You find that your relationship seems to have nothing to talk about.
You are not interested in his preferences, and he scoffs at your pursuits.
To the cow playing the piano, the chicken and the duck speak, there is no resonance.
When a relationship loses its resonance and is completely unable to understand the other person's intentions, it is impossible to continue walking.
-04
The love and giving between you is "not equal"
He takes what you give for granted.
He thinks it's natural that you're good to him, that you're giving for him, that you're investing time and affection in him.
However, he is never willing to voluntarily pay for you.
In a short time:
Give for love, even if you have no reservations, you are willing.
But the relationship between two people, not overnight, is always you paying, he is sitting and enjoying it, such love you also lose the patience to maintain.
Why should we fall in love and get married?
It's nothing more than finding someone who resonates with you, supports each other, clings to each other, and encourages each other to walk through the rest of your life.
But you find:
With him, it's better to live happily and dashingly alone, why should you struggle to stick to it?
Being in love is like doing business.
We all hope that high investment will get high returns, when your return is far lower than investment, timely stop loss, is the best choice.
If you meet the wrong person, don't hesitate to leave immediately.
Today's Topic:
When the relationship comes to an end, do you have the courage to "stop the loss in time"?
(Article with picture source network)