The heart-to-heart between a man and a woman often only takes a short moment, and it is possible to develop a liking when you find that the other person has certain qualities or strengths that you find appealing. However, managing a relationship and creating happiness is a completely different matter.
In a truly beautiful relationship, it is not enough to love each other, it also requires a certain amount of skill. This is also the reason why people with high emotional intelligence are better at handling various interpersonal relationships. To build a good relationship, we need to continuously enhance our emotional intelligence and learn effective communication and expression. In this way, you can get more happiness in your relationship.
The same is true in the relationship between the sexes.
Many women often have doubts and anxieties when they fall in love, worrying about whether their lover's feelings are genuine, or whether there will be changes in the future. This situation is very common, and women also need to learn how to adjust their mindset, let go of unnecessary suspicions and worries, and enjoy true love.
In fact, if you want a man to love you for a long time and have a hard time leaving you, there is a psychological effect that is very effective. You just need to understand the sunk cost effect to be able to achieve this.
One: What is the sunk cost effect?
In the field of economics, there is a concept called sunk costs. It refers to the fact that people tend to use a good or service more frequently if they believe that the cost of that good or service exceeds its actual value. This is because they want to get more value through constant use to make up for the extra costs they pay.
In layman's terms, the "pay for it" theory in economics says that you will cherish and use the items you spend money on, because you have invested in the cost of resources. If you don't use it, you'll feel lost and wasted. This psychological phenomenon is known as "useless cost disorder".
In fact, there is also a sunk cost effect in relationships.
In relationships, it is often difficult for us to rationally let go of feelings that are not worth continuing because of our previous dedication and investment. Even if we know that this relationship has come to an end, we will still choose to hold on and not let go easily. This persistence may be due to our fear of loneliness, or because we have left good memories in the past. Whatever the reason, this irrational choice can cause us to lose sight of our own needs and well-being. We need to face our feelings more rationally, make decisions that suit us as soon as possible, and move ourselves towards a better future.
In love, people tend to be affected by sunk cost effects. In short, it is to make it harder for the other person to leave you, by increasing their sunk cost and making them more and more invested in you, so that they are not willing to leave you. It's a simple idea, but it works.
The costs here include, but are not limited to: time, money, energy, and love, to name a few.
This is also the reason why the longer you are in love, the more difficult it is to separate, there are too many involvements between you, and living with each other has become a habit, even if there is no love, the people around you will persuade you: "Forget it, you have been together for so long, what a pity to separate." ”
Why is it a pity to be separated? The reason is that we have already given so much that it is difficult to give up.
Two: Continuing to increase the sunk cost of the other party will make it difficult for him to leave you
Why does the divorce of celebrities always drag on for a long time? Compared with ordinary people who go directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau to solve it when they are emotionally up, the sunk cost in the marriage of celebrities is too high, and there are too many interests tied in the relationship, so they will hesitate and have concerns about ending the marriage. These interests include not only property and reputation, but also aspects such as personal image, fans, and business partnerships. Celebrities need to handle divorce carefully and resolve conflicts in a more mature way, so as not to cause greater losses to both parties.
If you want your relationship to be stronger, the easiest way is to make them feel too much to leave easily. For this, increasing their input costs is a viable option. This will strengthen the bond between you and make you trust and rely on each other more.
It sounds complicated, but it's actually simple – don't give it lightly, don't let others get it easily. This is a philosophy of life that deserves our deep thought.
He gets nothing for nothing, like a discount coupon delivered to him at the supermarket. Maybe he will throw it away when he walks out of the supermarket after receiving it, without any nostalgia. This situation is nothing more than ordinary for him.
If you pay no matter the cost, it will be difficult to move others, but it will make your efforts seem cheap. The more experiences people have, the more they tend to cherish them. So, if you want others to value you more and cherish you, then you need to be a little reserved and proud. Have confidence and respect for yourself, and others will naturally understand your value and take you to heart. The above is not to emphasize indifference and ruthlessness, but to let people know how to respect themselves, maintain their self-worth and dignity, in order to win the respect and attention of others.
The warmth of meeting for the first time is easy to get, and the tenderness of getting along for a long time is hard to find.
To take the initiative in love and keep your partner following closely, passion and affection alone are not enough. Love is a kind of wisdom that we need to keep exploring.