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Theme: A Feast of Flow
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Zhou Guoping: Let the difference of children become value
Where in the world is there a unified way of educating boys or girls, every boy is himself, every girl is herself, unlike other boys or girls. All you can do is love this different, understand this difference, and let this difference become value.
——Zhou Guoping
My daughter's name is Tweet and my son's name is Tap. I wrote a book called Baby, Baby, which chronicles Tweet's childhood. Now this book, which records the childhood of percussion, uses the name of the protagonist as the title of the book.
In my lifelong experience, the greatest blessing is that God has given me a pair of lovely children. The wonderful thing is that the two children have very different personalities and are very interesting. Tweet is a little lady, introverted, quiet, and often a little melancholy. Percussion is a full sunshine boy, cheerful, happy to socialize, full of positive energy. However, under the visible personality, there are actually the opposite factors lurking. We did not expect that this little lady, with a burning fire in her heart, would later grow into an avant-garde artist with a distinct personality. Nor did we expect that this sunshine boy would not be able to adapt to today's education system, and the road to growth would be particularly difficult.
The character of Koto is really sunny, and the main length of this book recounts his vivid, playful, and cute performances when he was a child, and I believe that anyone who reads it will smile. His childhood, before entering school, was also bright and happy, and after entering school, the clouds began to cover. How could a sunshine boy have such a difficult childhood? This sharp question mark always pierces my heart, and the latter part of this book reflects on it, and I hope to discuss it with readers and friends who are concerned about education.
The most anticipated part of this book is tapping myself.
When "Baby, Baby" was published, he was three years old, and the TV station did some talk shows, and the protagonist of the book tweeted that he was quite indifferent, and he was the most enthusiastic audience of these programs, and every broadcast must be seen. Once, he was watching and suddenly asked, "Why do you only talk about my sister and not me?" The TV showed the paintings of Chirping's childhood, and when he saw them, he told me, "Bring my paintings to the TV as well." "He envied his sister so much that from that time on I knew I was going to write him a book.
"A Cat with Character" Knocks on the 8-year-old work
When he was eight years old, one day, he and two neighborhood children were playing crazy in my house, and after the children left, he asked me: "Daddy, when are you going to write me?" I was stunned and said, "Actually, I've been writing." "I mean I've been keeping track of his words and deeds in my journal. With a look of surprise on his face, he said, "Sissi said she was going to buy one and ask you to sign it." "Sissi was one of those two neighborhood kids. He valued it so much that I decided to take it seriously. He painted great, I consulted with him, we both collaborated, I wrote books, illustrated with his drawings, and published them as soon as possible. He was overjoyed and asked, "Do you want to sign?" "I sometimes hold autograph sales events after I publish books, and he knows it, so he asks. I replied, "Of course, I want to sign, and when the time comes, we will sign one table for each of us, and we will sign it with you, and then we will sign it here." He said ashamedly, "I signed too slowly." I said, "Yeah, I've signed it here, and you've got a long queue there." He laughed and asked, "Is there more money after the book is published?" I want to buy myself an iphon6. I laughed and said that the fee was divided equally between the two of them, and it should be enough. He immediately thought of signatures and fees, and he heard it and ridiculed him for valuing fame and fortune, but I knew he was naïve.
I promised to do it immediately, but when the chores were tied up, the writing stopped and stopped, and the delay was repeated, I let the baby down. When he was eleven, once when he talked about it, I hooked him up and promised to finish it next year. While pulling the hook, he said with a bitter smile: "I think the probability of this statement being credible is only one percent, so you don't say it again." "His mother was videotaped at the time, and the evidence was overwhelming, and I did miss the appointment again." Now, at the age of fourteen, I have finally done what I should have done long ago. I gave this childhood notebook to him as a teenager, hoping he would like it and forgive dad for his procrastination.
"The Eagle" Knocks on the 9-year-old work
Readers often tell me how I educate girls in Baby, Baby, and since I have a son, I want to know how I educate boys. But where in the world is there a unified way of educating boys or girls, where every boy is himself, and every girl is herself, unlike any other boy or girl. All you can do is love this different, understand this difference, and let this difference become value. For parents, every child is a guest from a strange country, you are completely ignorant of this guest, you must be careful, slowly understand, find the most suitable way for him or her to grow.
Of course, when I have a pair of children, there will be comparisons, and there will be feelings for the difference between boys and girls. But I cannot conclude that this difference is universal, and that I can only talk about my own experience, mainly on three main points. First, the company of the father is particularly important in the growth of a boy. When I was a child, I was his main playmate. Boys are warriors and like to play games such as fighting, which is a rehearsal of life battles and helps to cultivate masculinity, and this kind of game cannot be played with mothers. Second, boys are active, weak self-control, how not to suppress the active nature, but also gradually cultivate and enhance self-control, is a difficult point in boys' education. Both freedom and rules are necessary, and the difficulty lies in grasping the degree of both. In this regard, I admit that I have not done a good job, favoring freedom and neglecting rules. Third, boys have a slow growth rhythm and a late maturity of mind, so they must have full awareness and enough patience for this, and they must not rush to achieve results. In fact, boys are far more difficult to adapt to the current education system than girls, and often have poor grades at the primary and lower secondary levels and do not catch up until the upper secondary level. I think that the current policy of diverting the middle school entrance examination has great drawbacks, which will cause a considerable number of gifted boys to lose the opportunity to further their studies.
"Flowers" knocks on the 9-year-old work
I am a parent who is very engaged in love and does not pay much attention to education, and has never raised my children in a planned way. I don't deliberately cultivate. When I was a child, who raised me? I have serious thoughts about education and am familiar with various educational theories, but I will never mechanically apply these thoughts and theories to the education of my own children.
In my opinion, in the education of children, the most important thing is two points, one is to give children a good family environment, which is characterized by relaxation, equality, mutual love, and a comfortable mood, and the other is that parents themselves must have a good mentality, not anxious, not blindly following social trends. I believe that edification is the most effective education, and children will be affected by me.
If there is no obvious result of this effect, I will also go with the flow and let the child grow according to his own endowment. There is much more room for spiritual growth, and parents cannot and should not set a scope for it. What I admire most about my children is that they are different from mine. Now the tweet has made me see her wonderful difference, and it will certainly be the same in the future, I firmly believe in this.
"Knocking"
By Zhou Guoping
Hunan Literature and Art Publishing House 2022-4
Introduction: This book is a new parent-child documentary essay created by teacher Zhou Guoping for many years after "Lady Girl" and "Baby, Baby". In the book, teacher Zhou Guoping records from the perspective of an ordinary father from the joy of the child's birth, to the happiness of accompanying the child's growth, to facing the various difficulties of the child's education. The words are warm and delicate, and the little boy's vividness, playfulness, and cuteness jump on the paper. At the same time, as a philosopher, he also observed the growth of a small life from language to heart, discussed the parent-child parenting problems and learning and education problems that all parents are concerned about, and had profound thinking and unique insights.
This is a warm notebook about love and the parenting of boys, and the parenting thinking of a philosopher father from the dual perspectives of The East and the West can provide a reference for parents in the current era of parenting anxiety and educational anxiety.