What happened to the women who remarried with children

I'm 30 years old, divorced, with a son under the age of one.

After my mother learned about my divorce, she couldn't sleep all night, and she thought: I dragged a child, how to find a husband with good conditions, and what if the remarried husband is not good for his son.

My dad was a bar to smoke, after knowing that the wood had become a boat, he said that it was good to leave such a person, he would take the child alone, and my father helped you to support it together.

I know that the future will be more difficult, but whether I remarry or not, I will try to make myself and my son happy.

In 2014, I met my husband now, fell in love after half a year of mutual understanding, and married three years later. Because it is a remarried family, from the beginning, it mixes the complicated relationships of children, parents, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in-laws, etc., so the run-in period comes faster and fiercer.

We were both in pain, confused, and even wanted to give up in the process, and now looking back on those years, although painful, but precious.

A marriage that has not been tested is not enough to be stable. Many girls say: Husband is not good, have a child to know. This is because before having children, we are all free single dogs, no small things that need 24-hour care to take up your time, no "four-legged gold devouring beast" to devour your money, and no mother-in-law and aunt relationship to consume your feelings.

At most, it's what to eat on birthdays, what to send on anniversaries, and so on. We are good, directly from love to the whole family to raise children such a grand and embarrassing situation.

But I have to admit that it was the fastest year for each other, and the endless quarrels tested the feelings of the two people; various practical difficulties forced you to constantly improve your ability to solve problems; those problems that were solved and the experience of surviving difficulties together further consolidated the foundation of marriage.

I have been married to my husband for 8 years, and the two years have gotten better and better, which is not just luck, but more by business. Looking back on the years we have gone through, I have taken a lot of detours myself and accumulated some experience, hoping to share it with readers to help you better get happiness in your second marriage.

01

Reflect on the problems of the previous marriage and learn the lessons

Marriage failure must be more than just one person's cause. Whether you choose to be single or remarry after divorce, you need to adjust yourself, reflect on yourself, seriously summarize experience, learn lessons, and ensure that you will not make similar mistakes in the future, so that you can harvest happiness in the next marriage.

My own problem has three main points:

First, before marriage, I didn't know enough about each other, although I had been in love for a long time, I had always been in the realm of eating, drinking and playing together, and I rarely seriously and deeply understood each other's original family and personal growth history.

The second is that after marriage, they naturally gave birth to children, and did not make sufficient preparations, such as who brought the child, what to do if there was a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, what to do if the partner was not a good father, and so on.

Third, after the marriage problems, my own ability to solve problems is not enough, many times small things are made big by me, and big things cannot be ended by me. Feelings this thing is like this, once consumed, it is not easy to repair, it is a pit to make up, and it is a scar to make up.

02

I'd rather be single than remarry

Some women have just experienced an unhappy marriage, their feelings have been hit hard, their hearts are empty, and they are in urgent need of care. At this time, if someone shows kindness, you should be particularly careful, often this kind of feeling is illusory, just like we have no water in the desert for a long time, suddenly give you a scoop of bath water to drink, you will feel that the food is like manna, but under normal circumstances, we know that the quality of this water is not good, and there is a faint smell.

Some women feel that it is too hard to carry a child alone, and they want to find a companion to raise children together, so as to reduce their burden. I am very much against this practice, life is really suffering, not here to suffer, will be suffering there, not suffering now, will be suffering in the future.

All depend on personal choices, choose to be bitter now, you only suffer in one person with a baby, one person makes money; but choose the future bitterness, you may have to suffer in a person with two babies, a person to raise a family, and then encounter a domestic violence cheating, is it another divorce?

It is said that eating a long and wise, remarried must polish your eyes, seriously choose a good person.

03

Love is the driving force behind solving all difficulties

Many women choose to remarry, the first condition is to be good to my children, which is actually putting the cart before the horse.

Because only by loving you can he be good to your children. Parents who have raised children know that taking a baby is an extremely test of patience, INTELLIGENCE and physical hard work, we are all ordinary people, the heart to heart, let you have a heartfelt love for a bear child who is not related by blood, and there is no support for the true love of the child's mother, how can it be inherited?

Marriage is inherently difficult, and remarriage is even more difficult for families. My husband and I used to quarrel because of the way our children were educated, because my mother had an unpleasant quarrel with him, because of the taste of eating and quarrels, and even because of the way of drying clothes... When the quarrel is serious, they think about each other, otherwise forget it? In any case, it is not impossible to live without each other.

But after each calm, I feel that if I change a little, the two may be able to achieve greater happiness together. So I tried to change the way I communicated and improve my problem-solving skills. The relationship between people is like this, when you change first, you will find that the other party is also quietly changing, so the marriage enters a virtuous circle.

04

Trust is the most important foundation of the remarried family, and there is no one

The most complicated problem for remarried families is that children from the previous marriage, non-blood adoptive parents are really hard to do. No matter what, I think you are not careful, the management is a little stricter, and you are speculated about abusing the child, this degree is difficult to grasp.

Everyone's educational philosophy and methods are different, and the standards are different. Since you have chosen the other party, you must fully trust, and you must not presuppose a position in anything.

Once I went out on a trip with my husband and my child, the child wanted to buy toys, because the family had just bought similar ones, and my husband felt that he should not buy them, and I felt that since he came out to play, he wanted to make the children happy and buy them if he wanted to. We both made a few remarks about this little thing, and he was so angry that he even said that he was going to break up.

I thought it was strange at the time, for this little thing? After quietly thinking about it, he knew what the problem was, so he said this to him: "Honey, I have never doubted your love and responsibility for your children, no matter how much I disagree with your views and methods, it does not affect my approval that you are for the good of the child."

When I chose to be with you, I was the one who loved you and appreciated your character, so you must also believe in my trust in you. Although he didn't say anything at the time, I could see that his heart was immediately relieved.

We have never quarreled over anything like this since, of course, because the debate over the way of education is still our daily routine.

05

Thinking more about each other is the guarantee for the long-term happiness of marriage

Think about who we ourselves want to spend our lives with?

Isn't it the person who always takes you to heart, puts your feelings first, and makes any decisions that are for your benefit? If you really meet such a person, you will enjoy it with peace of mind, or will you repay the favor. Excluding a small number of particularly selfish people, most of the hearts are still flesh.

Before we got married, my husband said, if I don't want to have another child, I won't have children, and Dabao is our only child. But I know that he is very eager to have his own child in his heart, so I am very determined to give birth to a second treasure, and my husband is very touched. He worked harder, always vigilant about whether he was a bowl of water for his two children, and was more tolerant and loving to my parents, and after the small family had two treasures, it was more harmonious and happy.

Our house, the car, the savings (all before and after marriage) were all in my name, and the salary was all handed in, and the gentleman said that he did not need it, because if the two of us were separated, he would be the one who was more capable of making money.

I said no, these are the joint property of the husband and wife, and I must add his name, although in the end I did not change his name, but he knew in his heart that I was thinking about his rights and interests. He also knew that no matter what he gave for his family, I would treat him fairly. When the soul has a home, the soul has a dependence, and it becomes willing to give everything.

When people reach middle age, they should know that there is no right person in the world, there is no match made in heaven, and fairy tales are really all lies. Recognizing the facts is the standard for us adults.

Romain Rolland said: There is only one kind of true heroism in the world, that is, to love life after knowing the truth of life. The same is true of marriage, we still believe in marriage after recognizing the truth of marriage, we still want to be with him after knowing the shortcomings of the other party, and we are still brave to move forward under the premise of knowing that there are many difficulties.

Life rewards the brave, and time treats the wise.

May we all cherish the people we meet in the future and make ourselves the right people!

-Ends-

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