After a husband and wife get married, how do they privately call both parents?
Many husbands are very concerned about the wife's address to the mother-in-law, "Shall we go to your mother's place for dinner"? The husband will be unhappy, "Isn't that your mother, all entered the door of my house, what your mother and my mother, see more outside"!
It is true that the mother-in-law is also a mother, and when they meet, they must shout affectionately, but privately, many daughters-in-law shout reluctantly, and the title of the mother-in-law will also change with the change of time.
Aunt Zhang celebrated her birthday, relatives and friends came a lot, the family is very lively, at noon dinner, the daughter-in-law rushed back from work, taking advantage of the liveliness of the people, took out the trench coat bought for the mother-in-law, smiled and said, "I bought a dress for his grandmother (the child's grandmother), come and try it out."
Everyone rushed up to see the clothes, smiled and praised Aunt Zhang for being blessed, the clothes bought by the daughter-in-law were so intimate, And Aunt Zhang echoed with a strong smile and accepted the dress. But when everyone was gone, she secretly sighed and was seen by her son.
After repeated questioning, Aunt Zhang said what was in her heart, "Yuehua has been married for many years, and her children have been in elementary school, but she has refused to call me mom since that incident.
But today, in front of so many people, facing me, she still refuses to call me, and she can't help but say 'how his grandmother' is, how to make others think? I feel so bad in my heart."
The son was also silent, and the words of the old mother also reminded him that his wife had not called his mother-in-law "Mom" for so many years, and even he was used to it, as long as the daughter-in-law called out to his mother, it must be the mother-in-law, but this could not blame the wife, he also personally experienced "that thing".
When the wife was confinement, the mother was taking care of the children of the eldest brother's family at that time, and said that she did not have time to serve the confinement. But he knew that his mother was not without time, and the eldest brother had also said that he did not need her, but his mother just refused to leave, in the final analysis, she looked down on her wife and felt that she could not count on her.
The wife belongs to the distant marriage, the family conditions are not good, the dowry is not much, when giving birth to a child, because the road is far away, the mother's family has not come, the whole month is his service, for this reason took a month's leave, almost lost the job, he did not complain about the mother.
But his wife saw the reality clearly and advised him, "Even if she doesn't want to come, she won't be willing to serve when she comes, and when I get more angry, I won't be able to do well." He had to give up.
But since then, the wife's attitude towards her mother-in-law has completely cooled down, and when she thinks about it, it seems that she has really not called out "Mom" affectionately, and now that her mother is old, she complains bitterly, and her son can only be helpless in his heart, this is a monthly vendetta, a woman can do several times in a lifetime, and she can buy things to be filial piety every New Year's Festival, which is really magnanimous, and the old man's discomfort cannot be resolved by anyone.
Confinement is a woman's growth
A family living together, there are always bumps and bumps, especially the mother-in-law, quarreling and mixing a mouth, at best it is a "mother-in-law contradiction", but as long as it is a contradiction, there will always be a past day, but there is only one contradiction, as if a lifetime can not go, also known as "confinement revenge".
The so-called feud of the confinement is nothing more than a contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, but why is it reduced to "hatred"? The reasons are manifold, too.
From the perspective of Bao Ma, she has just given birth to a child, physically and psychologically in the weakest period, around the need for an experienced elder support, know how she can become a qualified mother, take care of her weak body, in the body hormones rapid decline can not bear, give her meticulous care and warmth.
This person is usually the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law has hope for her, and whether she does well or badly is the basis for the future mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along.
From the perspective of the mother-in-law, she has also experienced this stage, women know women best, she has experienced well, should let the daughter-in-law also enjoy, she suffered badly, should not be vented on the daughter-in-law, this is a good mother-in-law.
But the reason everyone understands, there are still many mothers-in-law in the opposite way, just one month, but push three obstacles, verbal denigration, drag their legs in action, and even the unfair treatment received when they were young, a brain vented on the daughter-in-law's confinement, do not know, how innocent the daughter-in-law is, the grievances of the previous generation, why let the daughter-in-law inherit?
Therefore, when a woman is confinement, the mother-in-law should not pick this time to worry about it, and the emotional fluctuations of the mother-in-law are caused by comprehensive factors such as hormones, fatigue, and psychology, nor is it the reason for the mother-in-law to take advantage of the opportunity to pick faults and not take care of them, which is tantamount to people's "falling stones" when they are in trouble.
But this will not make Bao Ma remember to hate for a lifetime, you are not good to me, I am not good to you. But the reality is that if the daughter-in-law is slightly bad for her mother-in-law, she will be condemned.
People are afraid of words, especially husbands and relatives, everyone feels that Bao Ma should not be, and always kidnapped her with "pension", and can't move to say, "Why do you have to worry about the elderly?" How many years have passed, and do you still remember the events in the month? Too careful with the eyes".
Bao Mama feels unfair, holds the grievances in her heart, and slowly accumulates into a "moon feud", which can be understood.
"Yuezi revenge" is a thorn in the bottom of Baoma's heart, from time to time it will hurt, telling herself how embarrassed and miserable she was at that time, no wonder many seventy or eighty-year-old people still clearly remember the grievances when they sat in confinement. Can the feud be solved? Listen to the voices of the mothers.
Bao Mom one, I had a big fight with my mother-in-law in the month, directly without milk, the child can only drink milk powder since childhood, I have not been able to pass this hurdle in my heart, and now my mother-in-law is sick, I do not open my mouth to let the object go to pick up, he wants to take care of me and does not object, the two people are still out of sight and not bothered, old and dead do not interact, may be the true portrayal of the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Bao Ma two, when I was confinement, my mother-in-law cooked me instant noodles, the condiments were also particularly spicy, I ate direct constipation, went to the toilet and cried, and then my mother came, I did not use my mother-in-law directly.
The attitude towards her is like that, it is not cold, she also knows that she is ashamed of me, and it will not trouble me easily. Before getting married, I was looking forward to my mother-in-law and was determined to be good to her, but later I learned that not everyone will be rewarded with sincerity.
Bao Ma Three, my yuezi vendetta was resolved, the reason was very ridiculous, it was actually a sentence said by the mother-in-law, she said with tears that she was sorry for me, at that time lard was blinded and felt that the daughter-in-law could not count on it.
Now that I am old and sick, are you still counting on me and my husband? Forget it, why bother with an old man, it's very strange, after she said those words, I was relieved, the knots in my heart over the years were also unraveled, in fact, I didn't hate her, just waiting to take an apology, all these years, let her go, but also let go of myself.
Do you have a "confinement feud"? Already put it down?