Regarding the concept of marriage mate selection, there is a saying circulating in the anecdote, "It is better to marry an older single dog than to marry a high-quality man who is married twice", which means that for divorced men, women must carefully consider, even if they choose some older men who are not married, do not touch those second-married men. So, what are the drawbacks and deficiencies of the second-married man?
Will it make women "prohibitive"?
The first is that men who marry twice value money more, and feelings are secondary.
The second-married man has already experienced a marriage, so he is much more realistic, even if he himself is better, it does not mean that his money can be spent on his wife at will, and the material conditions in married life are the basis. Men who take money too seriously will obviously not let their wives take charge of the financial power in the housekeeper. Men who are married for the second time generally do not take feelings too seriously, because in his eyes, two people are living together. And since it is a partnership, then the payment of both sides is similar. Nor is it possible for a woman to spend too much. It is no wonder that some women who marry a second-married man will say that they do not feel the love of their husbands, after all, after marrying a second-married man, their material life is strictly controlled, the family's economy is all decided by the man, what costs are calculated by him to death, even if he can earn money, he must first consider himself, as well as his parents and children, rather than first considering his wife. Such a realistic man actually hurts a woman's heart.
Second-married men are more sensitive,
Perhaps it was hurt in the previous marriage, and in the second marriage, the second marriage man will be more sensitive. What his wife did when she went out, who she was with every day, and so on, were all the truths he wanted to grasp. This kind of suffering from loss of sensitivity and paranoia intertwined in his heart, both afraid of loss, but also unwilling to get too close to his wife, afraid of repeating the mistakes of the previous marriage, this is the personality characteristics of some second-married men, so that women feel very uncomfortable in this marriage, and there is nowhere to vent, both to be controlled by him, but also can not have the slightest complaint, after all, he is in the name of loving you.
After marrying a second-married man, there will be many troubles.
This kind of trouble is not only emotional, first of all, the second-married man may have children, and the way this child is handled is a timed explosive between two couples, once it is not handled properly, it may explode, so how to treat his children is also a science. If he thinks you treat his children badly, that's the focus of a conflict. In addition, the man who is married for the second time will have more or less shortcomings of one kind or another, otherwise his ex-wife will not leave him so easily, and some shortcomings may be unbearable for ordinary people. At this time, as his second wife, at the beginning of the love stage, or the initial stage of marriage, he will certainly not be exposed, but for a long time. It is more tiring to disguise, "the fox's tail will finally be exposed at the moment", at this time you may see his habits, even vices, you will regret the original marriage, which will also cause yourself a lot of trouble. Some second-married men even have some grudges and entanglements with their ex-wives, which may make you anxious.
Finally, the most heartfelt thing is that the psychology of the second-married man has changed,
As some second-married men once said:
"It's really not okay, it's a big deal to get divorced, and I'm not divorced."
Such a mentality, so that the second-married man in the marriage, many times are fearless, after all, the worst result is "I am not divorced." After leaving, he found another one, and he regarded marriage as a love affair, without regard for his own responsibilities. Taking the woman's lifelong marriage as a child's play, such a mentality is actually very harmful, both harmful to others and harm to oneself. But for him, he felt that it didn't matter if he had been divorced once. And men divorce and women divorce is not the same, men divorce there is a certain material basis, men divorce, relative to women are better to find the next marriage partner, but women are not the same, divorced women are largely value is to be discounted. If you want to find another person, you will also be disliked by many people, after all, some divorced women have also given birth to children, which is also a damage to the body, and many people cannot accept it. The psychology of the second-married woman has been traumatized, which has led to some women who have not looked for a man for a long time after divorce, and even sometimes encountered the object of the heart, and did not dare to easily pour out their feelings, after all, they have been divorced, and in her psychology they have formed an inferiority complex, thinking that they are no longer the previous yellow flower girls, nor is it the first marriage, and it is not good to ask for a bride price, which is a double blow to the economy and spirit. Therefore, it is necessary to be cautious when looking for a second-married man.
In contrast, older single young men are much more reliable than second-married men.
Perhaps such young men are not emotionally intelligent enough at the beginning, but if they are slightly guided, it is still easy to cultivate their emotional intelligence. Older single young men are married for the first time, and they are definitely more responsible than second-married men, and they know how to cherish it more than second-married men. And some older single young men may be due to the fact that they are just trying to buy a house and a car, and then want to marry another daughter-in-law and marry and have children for him, which is an advantage that second-married men cannot match. Men who are married twice also have excellent, but it is likely that there are some minefields hidden in them, and they need to be screened and judged by themselves. Whether it is an older young man or a second-married man, you must keep your eyes open in the process of falling in love, and you are responsible for your future marriage.