"It's all family" Father remarried children take turns rubbing rice, wife: I don't need children and grandchildren around the knees

01

Will middle-aged and elderly people be happy to remarry?

With the progress of society, people's minds are becoming more and more open, marriage is no longer just the patent of young people, and more and more elderly people living alone have begun to pursue marriage and find happiness in their old age.

However, although the remarriage of middle-aged and elderly people looks good, the possibility of harvesting happiness is far less than imagined.

In addition to the problems of property division such as houses and child support that middle-aged and elderly people must face when they reorganize their marriages. The difference in thinking between men and women is also an important cause of the misfortune of remarriage.

For many middle-aged and elderly people, in addition to the purpose of their remarriage is to find a companion for themselves, there is also an important premise, that is, to ensure that their established interests are not lost, and at the same time maximize their own interests through remarriage.

For example, the man is afraid of taking responsibility and afraid of property damage. The woman is not willing to give the other party a free babysitter and so on.

Once these things are not handled properly, the marriage can be in jeopardy.

Aunt Lin (pseudonym) recently chose to return to singlehood because her remarried husband's family used her as a free nanny.

02

Aunt Lin was widowed at an early age, and after her only daughter married, to be honest, her later life was indeed a bit lonely and lonely.

Aunt Lin quite wants to find a companion, do not ask the other party to have a condition, as long as they can know the cold and know the heat, and have a care for each other.

Later, on weekdays, a good old sister introduced her to Uncle Liu, an old man who lived alone who was also single. The two contacted for a while and felt that it was quite appropriate, so Uncle Liu took the lead in making a request for remarriage.

Sons and daughters on both sides are very supportive. After all, young people are busy at work now, and it is good to have someone to talk and walk with their parents, and it is good to have a companion with each other.

In this way, the two received the license, simply made two tables of wine, invited their respective children and relatives to eat a meal, and then officially became a family.

After getting married, Aunt Lin moved into Uncle Liu's house to live together.

Uncle Liu has three children, and the three children each have two children, which is equal to three generations of Grandchildren in Uncle Liu's family, and together with his daughter-in-law and son-in-law, there must be thirteen people, which can be regarded as a very lively big family.

And what made Aunt Lin decide to divorce was precisely because she couldn't stand this "hilarity".

Aunt Lin felt that since she married Uncle Liu, Uncle Liu and his children had used themselves as free nannies.

On weekdays, Uncle Liu, like all the stubborn old men of machismo, never touches the housework, but the ability to pick thorns is first-class, and he always likes to point out the fruits of Aunt Lin's labor. Today's rice is hard, tomorrow's dishes are salty, trying to make Aunt Lin feel that she has a lot of shortcomings through the act of provoking, and he is also generously tolerating her imperfections, and then stubbornly making cattle and horses for him.

Not only that, Uncle Liu's three children will take turns to bring their families to rub rice every week, and sometimes the three families come together.

As soon as they came, Aunt Lin was busy.

On the day they came to dinner, Aunt Lin had to walk two stops early in the morning to buy vegetables so that she could buy the fresh sea fish that children liked to eat the most. Then bring two large bags of ingredients and walk home.

Uncle Liu's house does not have an elevator, and lifting two large bags of vegetables to the fifth floor each time is a big challenge for Aunt Lin's body.

When I got home, I couldn't catch my breath and had to rush into the preparations. From washing dishes, preparing dishes, cooking, cleaning dishes, cleaning up, she is all busy.

Uncle Liu's family is gathered together, watching TV when they should watch TV, and playing with mobile phones.

What makes Aunt Lin uncomfortable is that every time they don't wait for Aunt Lin to come to the table and eat and drink by themselves. Sometimes when I drink happily, I will let Aunt Lin add more dishes. When she was finally busy and ready to go to the table, all she had in front of her was the leftovers.

Eat it as a family, and do it alone. The number of times is too much, and Aunt Lin is inevitably a little tired.

That's not all.

Every time they had to go back after eating, they also had to take a lot of things from home, including some local specialties sent to her by Aunt Lin's daughter. As long as they look at it, they don't say hello and leave.

Not only contributing, but also pasting upside down, Aunt Lin was very dissatisfied in her heart.

What Aunt Lin can't stand the most is that as long as she talks about these things, Uncle Liu will use "all are family" as a shield. The implication is that they are all family, and Aunt Lin is still so calculating, which is too bad.

Not long ago, Aunt Lin finally decided not to be fooled by this sentence and talk to Uncle Liu well.

Aunt Lin hoped that he could tell his children that it was not impossible to come back for dinner, but the rich people who contributed money and powerful contributions could not leave everything to her alone, otherwise they would reduce the number of times they came back to rub rice.

When Uncle Liu saw her say this, he frowned and accused Aunt Lin of not treating his children as family, and said, "They are all family, they also want to share the heavens with us when they bring their children back, you just make a meal, how do you calculate like this?" ”

Aunt Lin was very disappointed in Uncle Liu, and Tianlun was just their family's Tianlun. Uncle Liu's children never called her aunt, even the children called her "feeding and feeding", tired in the kitchen to die, no one had ever said a word of concern to himself.

His children did not respect her at all, but regarded her as an old mother who could wash and cook for their father and wait for their family reunions on weekends.

Thinking of this, Aunt Lin couldn't help but reply: "I don't need my children and grandchildren to go around my knees." Then he filed for divorce and moved out of Uncle Liu's house.

Aunt Lin said that she was looking for her wife for someone who had an individual. If the other party only treats her as a free nanny, why should he find such a sin? It's better to live alone and end up at ease.

03

In life, there are many middle-aged and elderly people like Aunt Lin and Uncle Liu who are eager to remarry and live, but are ruined by conflicts of interest.

Through his story, he also tells us the following two truths.

One: Before the second marriage, we must say "ugly words" in front.

In fact, compared with the first marriage, if you want to harvest happiness in the second marriage, the effort required is much greater than that of the first marriage.

Especially in the second marriage of middle-aged and elderly people, the interests involved are a thousand times more complicated than ordinary marriages.

Not to mention the real material benefits of property distribution, in the case of Aunt Lin and Uncle Liu, it is also an important reason why it is easy to cause the marriage of the middle-aged and elderly people to be unhappy and dispersed.

Because the love of middle-aged and elderly people is more realistic.

The purpose of their finding a wife is nothing more than that their children are not around, life is too lonely and lonely, and they want to find a companion who can talk to each other to warm up.

To put it mildly, when there is an unexpected situation, someone around can notify his children to go home in time.

As for other family obligations, such as living expenses and housework, no one wants to pay more, and no one wants to be taken advantage of.

This is the common sentiment of human beings, and it is also a real problem in front of us.

Therefore, it is very necessary to say "ugly words" in front of the second marriage.

Each other put the expectations and conditions of the second marriage on the surface to talk. If you are together, you will be gathered, and if you are not together, you will disperse, so as not to take this "second marriage robbery" empty.

Second: To achieve a "win-win" is a good marriage.

What is the nature of marriage?

I know that a high praise replied that the biggest essence of marriage is to achieve a "win-win situation".

A good marriage must be something for both husband and wife, and at the same time can harvest corresponding returns from each other.

Mutual benefit between each other, married life can be happy and long-lasting.

Especially the second marriage. Everyone has experienced a failed marriage, and they should understand that the truth of marriage is nothing more than two people working together to maximize their respective interests by reducing the cost of living and resisting risks together.

It's like the marriage between Aunt Lin and Uncle Liu.

The only beneficiary of this marriage is Uncle Liu, who has gained an old partner who can serve his own food, clothing, and housing. But for Aunt Lin, her wife has not been found, but she has to pay for others to be a free nanny. Of course, the heart is unbalanced.

Parting ways is also inevitable.

Therefore, when middle-aged and elderly people remarry, they should also pay attention to not trying to only get benefits from each other, and at the same time they are stingy and pay.

Everyone is a person who has seen the scenery of half a lifetime, he has traveled no less than you, and the salt you have eaten may not be more than someone else's home. By calculation, you will not be able to get a happy marriage.

Only by comparing hearts to hearts and respecting each other can a happy marriage be guaranteed.

Text/No Pen