After retirement, regardless of whether there is a saving or not, do these 3 things to your children immediately to prevent filial piety

01

Some people have said that after their old age, everyone lives more and more humble, and can only look at the faces of others and behave.

In this regard, many people are puzzled, people are old, should not be respected by their families? Why do you live more and more humble? Besides, shouldn't children take care of their parents?

From an ethical and moral point of view, it is natural for children to respect their parents, take care of their parents, and even listen to their parents. However, from a practical point of view, the more idealistic things are, the more difficult it is to do.

In the old days when ethics were relatively strong, it was normal for children to listen to their parents. But today, people's hearts are impetuous, and cases of filial piety are endless.

We only need to look at the case of "widows and old people" to see this.

The elderly who have no money and no power will be abandoned by their families and become widows and widows. And the elderly who have a little money will give their family property to their children in advance, so that their children have more room for choice, and they themselves have no way out.

To put it mildly, old age is a game process. This is not our game with outsiders, but our game with our children.

After retirement, regardless of whether there is a saving or not, you must immediately do these three things to your children to be stable.

02

After retirement, immediately "knock on the side" of your children.

On the Internet, there is such a question, how should parents communicate with their children?

To put it bluntly, putting things on the table is easy to make contradictions. And dare not say, but will make children have vague psychological thoughts. None of this is an effective solution.

The best solution should be to learn to "knock on the side" of your children.

What is "knocking on the side"? That is, by means of "suggestion", let the children know our needs and understand what we think.

For example, "implying" that children should be filial piety, we should not bluntly say to them, "You must be filial to your parents", but we must know how to give examples, especially bad examples, so that children have a sense of guilt and responsibility.

In psychology, we call it "sensationalism."

For example, to "imply" that children should be more considerate of their parents, we just need to tell our past experiences. I am a filial piety, and I believe that my children should also be filial piety.

Between people, mutual understanding is the best choice.

Of course, we must also grasp the measure of doing things and speaking, and we must not let our children feel that their interests have been damaged, nor can we let them feel that we are relying on the old and selling the old. In this way, the method of knocking on the side seems to be very effective.

03

After retirement, you must know how to draw a line with your children in terms of "money".

There is a saying that "feelings belong to feelings, and money and wealth should be clearly distinguished." ”

Although there is a blood connection between relatives, it is only a "connection" after all, and this relationship is particularly fragile and is not vulnerable at all. At this time, we have to focus on "money".

When it comes to money, most people think it is particularly tacky, and it is easy to affect the feelings between family members. But if you don't talk about feelings, then what is the point of the relationship?

Truly reliable relationships can often pass the test of "money". Only a hypocritical relationship will be exposed in the face of money. It can be said that money is a mirror of the demon.

When we talk to our children about money, our primary goal is to draw a line with them. Parents can help you as much as possible, and you can't get your possessions in advance, and both parties maintain a respectful relationship.

Some people will say that if you give your children your family property, won't your children be more filial to their parents?

To tell the truth, if children really choose not to be filial to their parents, then we have nothing to lose with them. Money is in hand, at least there is a guarantee. But once the money is in the hands of our children, we will have no way to go back.

Therefore, it is a great wisdom to know how to draw a clear line with children in terms of money.

04

After retirement, immediately live "separately" from your children.

As the saying goes: "Whoever is under the eaves of the house can not bow his head." ”

You and I are all in the same roof, looking down and not looking up, I believe that there will be absolutely unnecessary contradictions between you and me. To put it mildly, one day, we will become "enemies."

Is it high that parents and children will become enemies?

Parents and children should not become enemies until they retire. After retirement, the probability of parents and children becoming enemies is great. Because parents who don't have jobs, they will definitely be annoying.

People are old and are at home every day. And children see that their parents do nothing, and even only know how to enjoy. Didn't their resentment appear at that moment?

More importantly, human beings like to pick bones in eggs, and they don't necessarily have any tolerance. In this regard, we can conclude that the matter of "living separately" from children is particularly important.

Separation does not mean that we do not love our children, but that we represent a kind of respect. I give you freedom, and I ask you to give me freedom and forgive each other. That's all.

05

Write to the end

We often say that "family affection is the most precious thing in this world". But why is it that today, family affection makes us so "left and right"?

First, it's human nature that has changed. What was simple and simple in the past has become the complexity and fickleness of today.

Second, the concept has changed. In the past, most of the concepts were based on feelings. Today's concepts are mostly based on interests.

In this impetuous society, the best thing for parents is to plan their old age well in addition to understanding their children's difficulties. This is the way to settle down.

Wen/Shushan has deer