Every couple will have a very difficult time, no matter who you marry. Because whoever you marry, at the end of the day, you are still two completely different and independent individuals.
Therefore, which may be appropriate at the beginning, the way of getting along between husband and wife is four words: seeking common ground while reserving differences.
In fact, there is also a process of seeking common ground while reserving differences, a process of running into each other, even if the elders teach and persuade again, this road still has to be taken.
There are many examples around, after the sweet period of the new marriage, the home has completely become a battlefield for two people, attacking each other and being cruel to each other, which is a kind of horror that cannot be imagined. Endless quarrels, I feel that the two people can not have any future, but after surviving, it is really willow dark flowers.
Willow dark flowers are bright, not from the end of the day, from then on will live an absolutely happy and loving life, but know how to love.
After all, just married, each other is still very young and vigorous, the personality is very strong, and it is normal to have repeated conflicts with each other, but it will also make two people grow up quickly.
The more in the run-in period, the more do not give up easily, persistence is not because of seeing hope to insist, but because of persistence is possible to see hope.
Love is with each other's advantages in love, and marriage is with each other's shortcomings in life, with the passage of freshness, the real face of the exposure, husband and wife will definitely usher in a painful run-in period.
Every couple must go through the "run-in period", so what is the run-in period, what is the run-in period?
1. Awareness.
Awareness of marriage, awareness of partners. First of all, let's talk about the understanding of marriage, before getting married, people will definitely imagine the brilliance of married life, sparks splashing, but when they really enter marriage, they will find that it is not that thing at all, so they feel disappointed.
This kind of disappointment will cause emotional changes, and there is reason to suspect that they have chosen the wrong person, and the conflicts between husband and wife will naturally increase.
With the passage of time, I gradually realized that the ordinary is the true face of marriage. No matter who you marry, the ordinary, trivial and miserable are the norm of married life.
As long as it is married life, it is impossible to hide from the trivialities of chai rice oil and salt, old-age care, family expenses, family chores, etc., which are the content of married life.
And with the exposure of the partner's shortcomings, gradually recognize the true face of the other party, and then walk off the altar and no longer have too high expectations.
2. Acceptance.
The so-called run-in period is to gradually let you really understand through quarrels and life, you are two different individuals, if you want to be suitable, you can't ask each other to make changes, you can only respect and accept.
To tolerate the shortcomings of the partner, no longer the eyes are always staring at the shortcomings of the partner, will only make the two people stand against each other.
Without respect and acceptance, feelings cannot be harmonious and life cannot be stable. So during the run-in period, we will gradually find that changing each other is a desire that can never be realized, and we will turn ourselves into a complete madman.
No longer trying to change the other person, just to accept, even if it is through the run-in period.
It's impossible to think of two people who can absolutely fit, perfect fit, no matter who you marry, it's impossible.
Respect each other's differences, accept each other's differences, understand that two people are different individuals, and only by seeking common ground while reserving differences can we get along harmoniously.
3. Temper.
Through repeated quarrels, through repeated run-ins, let you gradually recognize the true temper of your partner. After you understand your partner's temper, you know how to get along with the other person, know where the points that make him or her angry, where the points of anger are, and where the points of irritability are.
In addition, I gradually understood that mutual quarrels and internal friction are meaningless, which will hurt the feelings of husband and wife, and will also destroy the harmony of the family, so I have learned to tolerate it since then.
When the other party has emotions, they will no longer attack each other, through forbearance, to avoid the escalation of contradictions, calm down with each other, and then communicate with each other.
Therefore, it is not through the run-in period that two people can be suitable, but during the run-in period, they understand tolerance and realize love through forbearance.
Otherwise, the marriage will become a cage for two people, with nothing but mutual attrition and harm.
4. Habits.
Through the run-in with each other's living habits, to cultivate the tacit understanding between husband and wife, such as going to a friend's house as a guest, one of your eyes, I will understand the mind, know what it means, and want to express the meaning.
Between husband and wife, the most precious thing is that tacit understanding, but this tacit understanding is also cultivated in blood and tears.
To understand each other's living habits, to adapt to each other's living habits, and then by their own adaptation, let the other party also adapt to themselves. Each can take a step back from each other, not have to ask, you have to center on me, and I have to decide everywhere.
None of us can change anyone, we can only compromise with each other, unwilling to compromise, and show strength, which is not conducive to the construction of the family, and it is not good for the development of the couple's feelings.
Therefore, the run-in period is actually a process of changing oneself, not a process of changing each other.
Yes, the run-in period, the run-in is not only the temperament and personality of the two people, but also their own understanding and acceptance of marriage, and then through forbearance, to achieve love. Knowing that pointless quarrels are meaningless, they can be avoided if they can be avoided, and sometimes they can be avoided by saying one less word.
The other party is such a person, no matter what, or such a person, more accommodation and more responsibility, in fact, there is nothing that cannot be passed.
The most afraid of being angry with their own people, I have to gamble a mouthful, I have to ask for an explanation, in fact, it is very uninteresting, let alone unnecessary. To be a husband and wife is to rush to the goal of moving forward together, because with each other's support and support, life is better and better.
Don't put the cart before the horse, just care about internal friction and struggle, and keep your eyes on each other. There is a saying in "The Little Prince" that love is not staring at each other, but looking in the same direction.
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