01
George Bernard Shaw said: "Home is the only place in the world where human shortcomings and failures are hidden, but also contain sweet love." ”
No family will be 100% perfect, can not satisfy all the family, hiding a dark side. As a member of the family, we must understand, take responsibility, and strive to help the family.
Of course, before helping our families, we must first understand our families and find clues from our usual words and deeds.
There is a way that the ugliness of the family is not exaggerated. Many people are accustomed to tolerating and concealing "ugly things"; as everyone knows, the ugliness of the family is not external, but it can be "promoted internally".
Through observation, it will be found that people with bad character are very angry in the following aspects, and need to be corrected in time to do a good job in internal digestion.
02
First, filial piety to parents is very angry, do not pay, do not contribute.
Lincoln said, "I don't know what kind of person my grandfather was, I am more concerned about what kind of person his grandson will become." ”
For celebrities, I understand it this way: older people have been stereotyped, and the past things cannot be changed; young people can change, and the future can be expected.
In the life of a parent, they will miss many opportunities and do a lot of wrong things. As children, we need to remind them, but we can't think about them.
For example, when you were young, your parents always let you wear old clothes, but your older brothers, sisters, younger siblings can wear new clothes, and the treatment is obviously different. When siblings go to school, their parents give different amounts of pocket money, and there is a phenomenon of preference.
Most families, when the parents are healthy and have money in their hands, will have fewer contradictions. Parents can't move, contradictions will erupt in a concentrated way, new hatred and old hatred, together.
Knowingly, some anonymous netizens asked: Parents are sick, how should children be assigned care?
He said his wife's father was sick all year round, and he and his wife would also find time to take care of it. Because the brother-in-law is very busy with business, he basically does not care about his parents. Now his wife has quit her job to take care of her father-in-law.
Obviously, across the network, you can feel the "anger" of netizens.
The brother-in-law is the main "person in charge" of the family property, but he only manages the benefits and is unwilling to take care of his parents. It is unreasonable to be reasonable.
There is a rural proverb: "The contrarian is more ruthless than the snake and scorpion." "Those who are not filial piety, no matter what reason they say, cannot prove that their character has passed."
03
Second, brothers and sisters are very angry in their interactions, only remembering revenge and not being grateful.
If you comb through it carefully, you will find that there are many contradictions between brothers and sisters.
For example, my brother ran a company outside the home and made a lot of money. The older brother went to the house, and the younger brother also arranged a job for him, and the income was not low.
After working for a period of time, the problem of the brother's lack of ability was gradually exposed, but the brother did not learn the art. In desperation, the younger brother could only gently dismiss the older brother.
When the brother returned to his hometown, he said that the younger brother was very unsympathetic, and even the people in his own family did not care. The brother didn't realize that he had gained some benefits. The root cause of not being helped is that you are "at fault".
Subconsciously, we all feel that whoever has money should take money for everyone to use; whoever has status should pull everyone along.
In fact, money and status are not empty, but labor and sweat condensed.
Magnifying resentment and narrowing grace make it clear that it is the behavior of a villain. People with good character are people who "drop the grace of water and repay each other with springs".
04
Third, the exchange of gifts is very small, remember to receive gifts, do not remember to return gifts.
The Ming Dynasty writer Ling Mengchu wrote a story: During the Song Dynasty, the minister Liu Mengyan was a child, his family was poor, but he was very good at reading.
Relatives, friends, fathers and fellow villagers all supported him to study and let him eat and dress. At the beginning, everyone thought that if Liu Mengyan went to high school in one fell swoop, he could also let his family have a big tree that he could rely on.
Later, Liu Mengyan hit the yuan and forgot all the help of relatives and friends. I even did some things that hurt relatives and friends, and things that were contrary to the nest, which was chilling.
In the Qi Dongye Language, it is said: "The higher the name, the more the official is, and the more absurd the intention." It is the glory of one body, and the harm of one country. ”
Everyone gets rich, not by their own strength, but by relatives and friends to help them more or less; everyone's hilarity is made up by relatives and friends. If you don't approve of it, you've forgotten the fundamentals.
In real life, when many people are holding banquets, they invite relatives and friends from all over the world to come, and the scene is very large. But when someone else held a banquet, he disappeared.
Some people only recognize the "gift money at the banquet", do not recognize the usual help, so that the meaning of "casual gift" is lost.
The ancients said: "Send goose feathers for thousands of miles, and the courtesy is light and affectionate." ”
The key to the exchange of courtesies is a friendship, not exchanging money for money. If there is only money in your eyes, then don't "talk about love", it really hurts feelings.
There is a saying in the "Warring States Policy": "If the family has ill-gotten wealth, it will hurt the book." ”
In the family, money that puts aside feelings is ill-gotten wealth, which makes everyone very sad.
05
When you encounter a family member with a bad character, how should you treat it?
Goode wrote in The Family: "The family is a social invention whose task is to transform biological man into a social man. ”
Morally, we have a responsibility to help our loved ones get on the right path and get rich with their pocketbooks.
First, learn to communicate, listen to the family's talk and wishes, and understand him from the depths of your heart. Then through the heart, he is inspired. We cannot blindly accuse and alienate.
Second, help people first help their aspirations. Let your loved ones read more, learn a skill, and improve their moral quality. With the ability to make money, small families are rich, and there are fewer calculations between families.
Third, keep an appropriate distance and don't find the other party 'confrontation' immediately after hearing the rumors. Instead, calm down and let the other person reflect on it for themselves. Some trivial things, everyone does not ask, naturally forget.
Fourth, we must have principles in our conduct and cannot help our relatives without a bottom line. For relatives with very poor character, we must also dare to expose the ugly and let him receive the lessons he deserves.
Always believe that love can touch everything, if the family is intolerable, it means that "love" is not enough, not deep enough.
May you and I accumulate goodness and virtue, and accumulate love into blessings.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.