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First, only when you step into marriage do you regret it, and you regret having a child even more
Zeng Shiqiang, a master of traditional Chinese studies, said: "The wife should accompany her husband, do not isolate her husband and the people around him, you must accompany him to help deal with many relationships." This admonition was a nightmare for Xiao Ru, who had been married for three years. She and her husband met at a party, after a period of understanding became lovers who knew and loved each other, because the two worked outside and were far away from home, for five years they bathed in the world of two, Xiao Ru felt that he was lucky, a man who was obedient was simply a lucky star that fell from the sky!
Xiao Ru, who is close to marriage, knows that her husband has a very complicated family relationship, and he is almost the pillar of the original ecological family and family. Many people advised her to leave the phoenix man, otherwise there would be bitter food in the future, and she did not agree that because she had a stable job, she would not end up in the tragedy of the poor couple Pepsi. Although she is very diligent and hard-working, and all the money she earns is paid with her husband to pay the down payment of the house, but the in-laws still have opinions on her, because from her face,around the table, she is not a traditional woman who can be recalcitrant, and she has a personality and a personality that is not very social with the in-laws. This made a group of dependent in-laws feel a strong sense of crisis, fearing that her intervention would make them lose the dependence of men.
Second, tolerate the poor and lazy people, the other side kicks their noses in the face
In fact, poverty is not terrible, it is terrible to sit and wait for others to feed, and to make many unreasonable demands and set a lot of ridiculous rules. The husband's gentlemanly thoughtfulness before marriage disappeared after marriage, under the supervision of his family, and was replaced by a strong command, ridicule and denigration of her, and everywhere above her, otherwise his family would accuse him of uselessness. With pregnancy and childbirth, her connection with her in-laws' family became closer, they exposed their true faces, and frequently clashed with her incompatible values, her husband never sided with her, living in a big city but strictly demanding her with the rules of a remote mountain village.
At first, I put up with it because of love, but I put up with it until I had no feelings for him, and I stayed only for the sake of my children. Her forbearance did not buy acceptance, her husband's family of five, including some distant relatives, moved in, everywhere the noise of the lord disliked her, did not do a good job that did too badly, they also refused to work to enjoy the material services she provided, the money was not enough, they thought she earned too little money, yelled at her, taunted her why not go to find a part-time job.
At home, the in-laws can not work, but she can't, she must maintain a certain income and have an upward trend, the husband will be slightly pleasant, and his family will not say harsh words. A woman's awakening often has to go through a mixed heart process of blood and tears, experienced the threat of layoffs and divorce, and encountered a deceased friend who introduced a better job, she opened her eyes in the reversal of fortune and found the root of the tragedy.
Third, people who have no self are bullied
She was too unconfident, never resisted when violated by others, and asked for peace in a flattering manner. Why is it so cowardly? Because her parents divorced since she was a child and her stepmother was rejected by her stepmother in her life with her father, she longed for a happy marriage to maintain the integrity of the marriage at all costs. She decided to rebel against the boldness of speaking out of her heart, demanding the establishment of a boundary between a small family and a large family, not allowing parasites to enter her family to eat her life, no one at the family meeting to refute her, and probably knowing that it was shameful not to work and rely on her in-laws for support.
Speaking of this kind of poor family is tears, poor is not only material, but also backward cognition, to eat away at others of the day, to trample on in-laws as the only source of fulfillment, not to work dependent on relatives and in-laws as the common feelings of people, to treat the partners of relatives as outsiders and enemies of competition for resources. Zeng Shiqiang said that he wanted women to have a good relationship with the people around their husbands, but I don't know how to start this relationship? The family style is not right, and women have to sacrifice themselves to integrate, and they have to religiously accept the fate of being dragged down and poor for a lifetime.
A woman marries a man with poor conditions to try to be warm and comforting, but will he open his wings to give her shelter and conjugal love? It is often seen that some women are pushed aside by men, who give all their preferences and material things to the giant baby-like family and find an impeccable reason: relatives are the most important, husband and wife are fake, and they will abandon me at any time. If you don't believe in marriage and don't trust your partner, why get married?
Fourth, only people who are economically independent will not participate in family infighting
Parents with pensions and savings do not like to stick to their children and rack their brains to deal with their children's partners, they have a rich old age, travel, visit relatives and friends, and develop interests; there are brothers and sisters who have work and pursuit, they will not stare at their relatives' families 24 hours a day, and they will calculate how to squeeze in to replace their relatives' partners as masters and win a sense of security; if relatives have quality and financial ability, they will not affect other people's families. Family infighting is actually a power struggle, everyone is working hard to make their situation better, and the evil of human nature is fully revealed.
The harmony advocated by the master of traditional Chinese studies is precious, women are obedient and virtuous, it is rare to be confused, and it is only suitable for normal families. Although Mimon has gone, her self-awareness and personality stretching have awakened thousands of women, don't put up with it anymore, you let an inch of inferior people go a foot further. Marriage needs to be guarded, and guarding is to show its fangs at some point.
[Author: Shameful mud, focus on emotional inspiration, marriage interpretation, may my companionship bring you comfort]