01
The most exquisite thing in a family is that brothers and brothers are respectful, fathers are kind and filial to their children, and the whole family has "one heart".
But what family can achieve "one heart"? In terms of the overall situation, very little. Generally speaking, it is good that the family does not cause contradictions, so why talk about maintaining a "heart" forever?
When the parents are still there, the children below will still walk through the formalities, and on the surface, brothers and brothers will not say that they will make too ugly contradictions. This is mainly to give parents face, do not want to let parents worry.
However, once the parents leave, will these children who are accustomed to going through the formalities still be brothers and sisters? To put it mildly, it is already a good result that they do not fight for the sake of family property.
Why are parents still alive, and the impact on the family is so great?
In fact, parents are the creators of the current family and the core of this original family. If the core of the family is gone, then the original family is gone. Of course, the child himself will also create a new family, become a new parent, and continue to rotate.
Parents, after all, are the pillars of the family. Just think, how can a family without a pillar of support be stable?
After parents, why are relatives and siblings no longer "one heart"? I think there are 3 key reasons.
02
Reason one: After the parents leave, the balance mechanism of the family disappears.
The heavens and the earth are divided into yin and yang, the earth is divided into the sun and the moon, the world is divided into good and evil, and the earthly world is divided into men and women. Everything needs to be balanced in order to be long-lasting. Without balance, everything is not long-lasting.
Like a balance, as long as it is balanced, believe that it can maintain the current state, and will not be high on one side and low on the other, creating an imbalance and dumping situation.
In the same way, in a family, as long as the relationship between children and daughters is balanced with each other, relatives also maintain the relationship between relatives, and contradictions are suppressed, then the family can maintain "one heart".
The key to keeping the relationship between relatives balanced and suppressing contradictions is not others, but precisely our parents. With their parents in the church, who would dare to rebel against the family?
The two brothers had a conflict and fought non-stop. At this time, the parents intervened, directly mediating their contradictions and letting them continue to live in harmony. Although they don't want to, I believe that they will also pretend and stop thinking too much.
You know, parents are children who are convinced of the existence of oral. Others, on the other hand, simply can't do that.
Once the parents leave, the family's balancing mechanism disappears, the children are not too much bound, no one looks down on anyone, then the whole family is scattered, everyone goes their own way, and then the relationship breaks down.
03
Reason two: one generation of relatives, two representatives, three generations of sparse.
Now there is a voice on the Internet, and the family affection is getting weaker and weaker. Even rural affection is facing the reality of continuous "decline".
Why is the family affection getting weaker and weaker? I think it is not unrelated to the traditional kinship mechanism and the development of informatization.
The traditional kinship mechanism is that the first generation's affection is particularly close, and in the second generation, the affection is estranged. Then to the third generation, the fourth generation, these family ties disappear.
Do you still know your cousins? Does your child still know who his distant relatives are? Or, in another generation, will these relatives still have a chance to get together?
Unfortunately, there are many relatives with whom we are no longer in contact, just like strangers, going their separate ways. If there is a fate, then you can also meet. If there is no fate, then forget it, there is no need to worry too much.
What's more, with the development of information technology, people have long lost interest in visiting the door or going to visit relatives every New Year's Holiday, and they all hope to chat on the Internet. At this time, isn't the relationship between people alienated?
Parents are in the church, and they can also organize one or two family gatherings. When your parents are gone, who has the influence to organize family gatherings? I think no one has this influence, and no one has this mind.
See or not see, the problem has little impact.
04
Reason three: People no longer have a good feeling for relatives and siblings.
As the saying goes: "The poor are no one in the downtown area, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." Don't believe but look at the wine in the feast, the cup first respects the rich. ”
When we are poor, no one will be interested in us. No matter what we do, no one will care. However, once we have money, others will come to us and flatter us vigorously.
Worshiping high and stepping low is the daily behavior between relatives after all, and who can change it?
Especially in today's materialistic era, I believe that everyone only looks at material interests and behaves, and who has so much time and mind to deal with relatives?
Moreover, whether we make money or not, the most psychological imbalance is still our relatives.
The group of relatives, which seems normal, actually has a very strong "not good to see" mentality. No matter what kind of mix you are, others don't want you to live well, so there is no need for "one heart".
You want to have a heart with others, who knows that others want to see you unlucky. Isn't that your wishful thinking?
As a person, there is no need to have a "wishful thinking" mentality. Sometimes, everything is good with fate, and those who have feelings will be more connected. If you have no feelings, just keep your distance. That's all.
Wen/Shushan has deer