01
Someone once said that all softness of heart never yields good results.
If you are too kind as a person, then the people around you will bully you and not take you seriously at all; if you lack the toughness you should have as a person, then others will have to make progress. There are too many misfortunes, all of which begin with excessive "softness of heart".
Man, I should have respected you, and you should have respected me. At the same time, I am sincere to you, and you should be true to me. But why can't others "treat each other sincerely"?
I think there are two reasons: first, in the shortcomings of human nature, bullying the soft and fearing the hard is always the inferior nature of man, which is a reality that no one can change; second, it is impossible to empathize, which is the root cause of the contradiction of the relationship.
This is true of outsiders, and it is also true of family members.
People always feel that outsiders must be bad, and their families must be good. Ideas like this are, after all, biased. Because human nature is similar, it does not change because of certain feelings.
All we can do is try to avoid contradictions, and at the same time, don't let others get in the way and protect ourselves.
In the family, if you can, don't pay too much attention to feelings. Being cruel in these places will become the foundation of your life.
02
Be cruel to "kinship".
As the saying goes: "If you have money and wine, how can you see a man in trouble?" ”
If you have money and wine, there will be no less people gathered around you. However, if you have no money, no wine, or even bring any benefits to others, I believe that no one will treat you as a relative or friend.
The most cruel part of human nature is not how close the relationship between you and me is, how strong the blood relationship is, but whether the interests of both sides can be realized. Realized, is a good brother, can not be realized, then goodbye.
This is vividly reflected in the group of "relatives".
In the face of such utilitarian relatives, in fact, many people are "fierce" and can't put their hearts down, always feel that their hearts are soft, and their true feelings will certainly be able to exchange for the sincere treatment of others.
I think this is just wishful thinking on your part.
For unnecessary kinship relationships, it should be cruel and ruthless, and it must not be merciless. You know, your kindness is often not exchanged for good rewards. That being the case, it is better to be ruthless and no longer care about the opinions of others.
03
Be tough on "money."
Someone once put forward the idea that in the era of money supremacy, everyone's feelings were not as practical as money.
Which is more important, family feelings, or money? In fact, this does not need to be compared, family affection and money are equally important. However, the lack of money is often particularly fragile.
It can be said that if we want to make the family's feelings more intimate, then we only need to match it with enough money, and that is enough.
An old man without savings will be abandoned by his children. Even if he had distributed the family property to his children before, he could not escape the result of being rejected by his children. That being the case, we just leave the money in our own hands.
A husband who has no savings will be abandoned by his wife. Even if he was particularly nice to his wife. Of course, women face the same problem. That being the case, both men and women must have their own economic base, otherwise they will be looked down upon.
Money and fame sound like a vulgarity. But it is this vulgar intolerable it that makes a family's affection more and more intense. To put it romantically, money is a hot bucket that flattens all contradictions.
04
Be cruel to your relatives who are "inching forward.".
After your parents leave, if your siblings push you step by step, or even take away the part of your property, how will you choose to deal with it?
Your brothers and sisters ask you to borrow money, and you kindly lend it to the other party, but the other party still chooses not to repay the money, and even threatens you, so what can you do?
There is a saying that is very realistic, people are good to be deceived, and horses are good to be ridden.
If a person is too kind, the end that belongs to him is nothing more than being bullied. If a person pays too much attention to feelings and does not know how to safeguard his own interests, then his result can only be suppressed by others.
Attaching importance to feelings is not a good thing, and it often attracts the prying eyes of some treacherous people. You know, people with hearts calculate people without hearts, especially people who have no heart who value feelings, that is a particularly simple thing.
In the face of such a situation, our best approach can only be to "be cruel", to urge people who owe money to repay money, to stand up when it is time to safeguard interests, and not to be kidnapped by others with "feelings".
05
Be a little more ruthless with "managing the family."
There is a way that "rules are strict and ruled." ”
Stricter regulations are good for governance. Take the matter of "managing the family", be ruthless in governance, and maintain the atmosphere of the family, that can make the family's hearts more united.
Why are children and grandchildren lazy? Because "loving motherhood and loving father" will spoil the child.
Why is the family cluttered? Because we can't help but "weed out" the clutter, the family is naturally chaotic.
Why are family members not united? Because the elders have not balanced the forces of all sides, who will be convinced?
The foundation of family stability is not what we often call "blind compromise", but in "should be ruthless, should be broken", do not have too much luck psychology.
In the family, to be a cruel person, this is not a desperate love, it is precisely our silent love for the family.
Wen/Shushan has deer