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"The Biography of Zhen Huan": "The word forever is simple to say." If it is really done, I am afraid it will be very difficult. ”
In the absence of variables, it is possible to say forever. But where there are variables, the word forever is just a wish, and no one can guarantee that it will be fulfilled.
This is especially true of things related to people's subjective emotions.
For example, love, at the beginning, is beautiful, making people feel that they can last for a long time, and making people feel that no one can separate two people. But later, I found out that this was not the case.
No matter which of the two people changes their minds, the dream of "forever" will be shattered. No matter which side backs down when it encounters obstacles, it is difficult to fulfill the long-lasting vows.
The same is true of kinship, which is equally likely to fall apart if it does not conform to the universal state of "family harmony" but is biased, greedy, and calculating. The relationship between relatives can last forever, but the affection between each other is not so optimistic.
The marriage of the following woman has both of the above problems, which eventually leads to tragedy, and let's take a look at what is going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
Although I always hear people say that you should be full of hope for life and see the good side of human nature, sometimes you will find that some things will destroy your hopes, and some people put you in front of you all the ugliness of human nature.
In my opinion, the big truth is understood, but the small emotions are difficult to control, all related to the above kind of problem. They're like a bunch of little goblins that mess around in your head, and you'll figure out a lot of things when you're quiet, but you won't figure it out again when they're bouncing around.
My mom caused me this trouble, she took my marriage as a deal, after my engagement, temporarily sat on the ground and asked my boyfriend to buy another apartment: "Unless I give my son a suite, I don't want to marry my daughter!" I worked hard to raise my daughter, and I can't afford you. You have fulfilled my request, and from now on she will belong to you, so that it is fair. You can also convey my request to your parents that if you want to marry my daughter, you must buy a marriage house for my son! ”
He directly refused: "I am married, not poverty alleviation!" ”
Then, my mom began to pressure me to complete the task she had given me no matter what: "If you don't do what I say, I will never let you marry him. ”
I'm embarrassed because my mom really does what she says, but how do I tell my in-laws? This kind of unreasonable demand, in other words, I will not agree.
Blame me for being too soft-hearted, and after the in-laws repeatedly refused, they were still indecisive and did not dare to argue with my mother, so that the marriage dragged on to the end and ended with my abandonment.
What hurt me was that my mother blamed me and pointed at my nose all day and scolded.
This experience made me sad, first I lost my love, then I ruined my family, I don't understand why this kind of thing happened to me? What the hell am I doing wrong, and God is going to punish me like this?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
It is normal for people to be plagued by all kinds of negative emotions after being frustrated. However, you can't keep yourself in such a state, otherwise the whole person will become abnormal.
She asked God why he punished her, but it had nothing to do with God, because it was the result of the "human" problem.
It seemed to me that she didn't know enough about her mother, otherwise her experiences could have been anticipated in advance.
Anticipating in advance, taking precautions in advance, communicating with boyfriend-related problems in advance, and bypassing the mother's calculations in advance can avoid tragedies.
For her, it seems that she can only choose between love and affection. What people call "affection and love can be easy" and "marriages that are not approved by parents will certainly not be happy" are just general cases, excluding exceptions. Her case was exceptional.
In other words, as long as her mother is present, her love and affection cannot be achieved "forever" at the same time, because she is faced with a single choice question.
Whether to choose love or affection, a little analysis will make it clear: her mother treated her marriage as a transaction, and attacked her brother's marriage in order to complete it, which was not only stupid, but also full of malice. Even if her previous love was not good, she should not choose to sacrifice for her affection, and it should be the same after that, otherwise she will never be happy.
I hope others can learn from her experience: if your parents are eccentric and always demand that you, as a sister, must let your brother go, always leave all the good things to your brother, even if you sacrifice you. Later, when you treat marriage, you should be wary of this kind of problem infiltrating your marriage, otherwise even if you argue on the basis of reason, it will inevitably give rise to an atmosphere.