01
Since ancient times, people have had such a traditional concept - raising children and preventing old age.
Raising children in order to cope with the misfortune of old age and prevent the risk of old age is the choice of many families, and it is also the "appropriate" way for many middle-aged and elderly people to care.
However, we may wish to look at the current social environment, and then look at the cruel reality of life, I believe we will gradually understand that raising children and preventing old age seems to be not as easy as imagined.
The cost of living for young people is rising, but their wages are not necessarily high. Moreover, there are too many young people who cannot afford to support themselves and their families, so why talk about supporting their parents?
There is a way that "mud bodhisattvas cross the river, and they are difficult to protect themselves." "Relying on our own children, who are unable to protect themselves, seems to only increase their burdens, but also bury our future with their own hands."
At this time, we can't act blindly, nor should we take it for granted that family affection is omnipotent, and blood relations will always be reliable. You know, relying on ourselves for everything is the greatest enlightenment that life brings to us.
There is a saying that the older people are, the more transparent they are, which is the experience and experience of all encounters in time.
After retirement, we will understand that children and family affection may not be as good as imagined.
02
The 68-year-old sighed that he had been lying in bed for many years before he gradually saw through the warmth and cold of the world.
Uncle Yang of the village is 68 years old this year, but he is not living happily. Because of the misfortune of being sick in bed, it directly destroyed his life and scattered his family.
I remember that six years ago, Uncle Yang's body was still particularly good, he could jump and jump, and at the same time he could take care of himself, anyway, he didn't need to rely on anyone, and he lived a particularly independent life.
Of course, the family is also a happy and harmonious scene, the children are particularly concerned about their parents, and the wife also likes to live with Uncle Yang in the two-person world after retirement, and life is particularly good.
However, all good lives have a time limit. A year later, due to Uncle Yang's accident and other complications, he could only lie in bed and need the care of his relatives and children.
From that moment on, the family's hard days came.
After the children took care of Uncle Yang for two years, they couldn't stand it anymore, not only to spend money, but also to spend energy. This is indeed a great test for children who are almost forty years old.
And the wife? He also rarely lived with Uncle Yang, but lived with his daughter and son-in-law, leaving Uncle Yang alone, except for three meals a day, someone came to deliver food, and no one was seen at other times.
At that moment, he completely understood that the so-called family affection is often particularly fragile in the face of reality. What kind of raising children to prevent old age, what kind of wife is the best, are just the bragging of paralyzed people.
03
Why are children and wives not as "reliable" as imagined?
There are two sentences, which are actually particularly realistic - there is no filial piety in front of the bed for a long time, and there is no virtuous wife in the long-poor family. Husband and wife were originally the same forest birds, and they flew separately in the face of great trouble.
The so-called father-son relationship often disappears in the face of "illness". The so-called conjugal love will often gradually become indifferent after a party has encountered difficulties.
Feelings are something that, to put it romantically, is a colorful bubble, and on the surface, it is actually particularly moving. In terms of the actual situation, this colorful bubble is basically "burst with a poke", which is no big deal.
Just think, where in the world are there any sincere and eternal feelings? Affection will not be eternal, and love will not be eternal. And the rest of the friendship is even more unreliable.
Just think, who in this world can be trusted? Is it a child or a wife? No matter how good the children are, they will gradually be disgusted because their parents are sick in bed. No matter how close the wife is, she will gradually drift away because of the misfortune of life.
There is a flaw in human nature that will always exist, that is, it cannot be "empathized".
We all understand that everyone has a day of aging, and everyone needs the care of others, but we are still selfish and still choose to retreat in the face of difficulties, regardless of family and blood. This is the nature of human nature.
People with human nature and selfishness will not live a stable life whenever and wherever they are.
04
Human emotions are not the same, and it is difficult for people to empathize. That being the case, how should people in their old age be good? I think there are three preparations.
First, the preparation of independent thoughts.
If we want to be well in our old age, we can only start with "thoughts". Only by first eliminating the concept of "dependence" at the level of thought can we live our old age more independently.
This is not to say that we should keep our children and wives at a distance, but not to expect too much. Avoid the "greater the hope, the greater the disappointment" result.
Second, there is sufficient provision for deposits.
When it comes to money, there is a saying that it is very realistic, money can buy the hearts and feelings of the people around you. It's like a hot bucket that helps you smooth out all the misfortunes around you.
An old man with plenty of money, like leaning on a big tree that will never fall, protects you from the wind and rain, and protects you from the rest of your life.
Third, be prepared for regular exercise.
For the elderly, take good care of the body, go out more when you can go out, exercise more when you can exercise, and don't sit too much when you can run, only by maintaining the habit of exercise, the body is gradually younger.
When people are old, they don't necessarily have to be bedridden. Having exercised before we retire may have different results.
Wen/Shushan has deer