For these kinds of "low-quality" family affection, no matter how heavy the feelings, there should not be too many expectations

01

As the saying goes, tigers are still close, and people are too familiar to be close.

In real life, the more unrelated strangers are, the less risky they are when we approach them, because we have nothing to do with them, and there are no disputes and contradictions.

And our relationship with our loved ones is more complicated. The more intimate the blood relationship, the sharper the contradictions between people. To put it mildly, sometimes relatives are more difficult to get along with than outsiders.

What is the difference between getting along with outsiders and getting along with relatives?

With outsiders, we either talk about money or feelings, anyway, money and feelings will not be mixed together, and the boundaries between people are relatively clear.

With relatives, we must not only talk about feelings, but also talk about interests, feelings and interests are mixed together, and the boundaries between people will be blurred. In the end, the problem comes.

Someone has put forward the idea that low-quality friend feelings are like debris that can be discarded at any time. And low-quality family affection is like chicken ribs, eating no meat, abandoning it is a pity, making people feel embarrassed.

In fact, it is better to be a person or "when the judgment is broken". For these kinds of low-quality family affection, no matter how much attention is attached, we must also make great efforts.

02

The affection of "harming others and benefiting oneself" should be broken.

From the perspective of human psychology, selfishness is the innate nature of everyone.

How can this "selfish" nature be suppressed? Unless a shackle is imposed on humanity, so that selfish humanity is temporarily invalidated, and it is not without regard for others, it is all empty talk.

As a result, people use "morality" and "affection" to limit selfish human nature. We are all relatives, so we should help each other, not argue with each other and calculate each other.

People who are more emotionally attached will accept the moral concept of "family affection first". On the contrary, people who do not attach much importance to family affection will not have any concept of "family affection" at all, and the shackles of family affection will be invalid.

We may wish to think about a question, how should we deal with those who do not value family affection and are selfish?

The best thing to do is to deal with them less. I don't have your interests involved, and you don't interfere in my life, the two sides are estranged from each other and are at peace with each other, that's it.

At least, hello and I are the best way to get along with relatives.

03

There is a "bad people" characteristic of family affection, should be broken.

Everyone is influenced by the principle of "nearby comparison".

The essence of the so-called "nearby comparison" is that everyone will compare with the people around them, such as our brothers and sisters, relatives and friends.

Relatives compare you, if his quality of life is better than yours, I believe he will be particularly happy, either to satirize you everywhere, or to cover your mouth and laugh at you, directly to you.

However, if his quality of life is worse than yours, he will be particularly unhappy and will eventually "hate" you. Gradually, the situation of "not being good" between relatives appeared.

There is a saying that it is not good to see people, and it is the biggest breakthrough in all intimate relationships.

All the contradictions in this world stem from the envy at the beginning, worsened by jealousy, divided by resentment. You know, there is no gratuitous hatred, only inner entanglement and distortion after comparison.

In family affection, we can ask ourselves to be at peace, but we can't ask others not to compare. Therefore, it is the right way to avoid the family affection of "seeing no one good" in time.

04

The affection of "squeezing out the interests" should be broken.

In the folk, people have such a saying: "Work less with relatives, less business with relatives." ”

If we want to do things, then we must not do it with "relatives", otherwise it will cause disputes. If we want to do business, then we should not cooperate with our loved ones, because "interests" will sever all kinship.

Brothers and sisters will settle accounts for the sake of temporary interests; sisters will turn their faces and not recognize people for the sake of temporary interests; relatives will squeeze out your interests for their own interests.

In the matter of "squeezing out the interests", we must be cautious. Sometimes, it is not your boss and boss who squeezes your interests out, but your relatives who have a certain relationship with you.

For example, if your relatives ask you to borrow money, or even want to use you as a "stepping stone", then do you agree?

Say yes, and you become the wrongdoer. And if you don't agree, you'll be accused of being heartless people who don't talk about affection. Anyway, the moral rope will bind you. Perhaps, mutual use is the norm in the world.

05

The affection of "far away and near smell" should be broken.

There is such a word in life - far away and near smell.

What is "far away and near smell"? You are particularly kind to your parents or relatives, who knows that others turn a blind eye to your giving, but like those who do not give.

Why do you give and end up gaining nothing, while others don't do anything but are loved?

It's like a plate of meat, no matter how delicious it is, as long as you eat too much, you will feel greasy. And that plate of cabbage, because it has not been eaten, and it is far away from them, then others will fantasize that it is delicious.

How can we "break" the contradiction between the far and the near smell? The best thing to do is to keep your distance from your loved ones and just do your duty. If you don't have your own duty, you don't need to be responsible.

You know, all the big packages, wishful thinking, will not be exchanged for good results.

Wen/Shushan has deer