"A lifetime of husband and wife for three and a half years, ten years of husband and wife for nine years", do you agree with the husband and wife way of the old ancestors

Since ancient times, marriage has been a major event in life, the fate of parents, the words of the matchmaker, the marriage of marriage, and the marriage of a husband and wife who spend their lives together. Love between husband and wife is the best secret language to overcome the difficulties of life, but many people step into marriage and find that it is not the same thing at all, and even the ideal married life is simply different.

All of this is the gap brought about by real life, the life dilemma brought about by the wealth and the oil and salt, the disagreement between the husband and wife in getting along, etc. are the biggest obstacles in love, and the ancients even circulated such a saying that "three and a half years of husband and wife in a lifetime, ten years of husband and wife nine years empty" to describe married life, and what is the reason for this? The truth of this needs to be carefully savored.

Shang Jiazhi said that gathering less is leaving more

Such a saying that "three and a half years of husband and wife in a lifetime, and nine years of empty husband and wife for ten years" was first circulated among ancient merchants, saying that in married life, a lifetime of couples only has three and a half years to live together, and in ten years of couples, the wife will have nine years to stay alone in an empty house. This simple colloquial phrase is used to describe the marital situation between husband and wife who are less and more separated.

In ancient times, most of the merchants had to travel in all directions to get money, and one of the most famous business routes in history was the "Tea Horse Ancient Road". In the southwest region of China, there is a unique geographical environment and is rich in tea. However, due to the heavy mountains, people are isolated from the rest of the world.

In order to make the family life richer, the men of that time flowed tea through dangerous mountains in droves throughout the country. Although there has been a turning point in life, it is a gamble for marriage and even personal life.

When they encounter a landslide on a mountain road and a situation where the sky is not beautiful, the injury is small, and when it is serious, it is likely that they will not even be able to pick up their lives. After wading all the way into a prosperous place to do business, it can be as short as two or three years, and as long as more than ten years, you can't return to your hometown. For the wives who stay in the mountains, this is an endless wait, and the newlywed husband will not see each other for more than a decade.

Although it is said that "if the two loves are long, they are in the twilight of the dynasty", for the husband who has not seen him for many years, even if he has more affection in his heart, he will eventually turn into a wordless resentment, which is the true portrayal of the wife's coldness in the ancient merchant family.

To this day, marriage is hollow

In the current life, although some people are separated from their other half because they go out to work, the convenience of transportation and the development of communication make it no longer difficult for the husband and wife to contact each other. But such a saying, in the modern context, already has a deeper meaning. People think that only the first three and a half years of a lifetime couple is the ideal state of love, and in the long run, the feelings between husband and wife will eventually become empty without love.

In the current fast-paced life, people do things for three minutes of heat, and they can't really be prepared to accompany a lifetime, just by virtue of a hot feeling and enter the palace of marriage, but such a happy life cannot last, and after two or three years, it will be exhausted, thus becoming tired of married life.

After the life of the husband and wife fades the passion, if there is no reasonable control, then such feelings will eventually become a void, and even cheating and other behaviors will occur. In the face of such a marital situation, we must know how to stop the loss in time, understand that the stimulation of love is only temporary, and want to spend a lifetime with each other, such an idea is not enough.

Respect each other and stay together for a lifetime

In marriage, often because of mutual disagreement and gradually reduce communication, over time, such seemingly inconspicuous small things have become a major killer of married life. So in dealing with the other half, respect is the premise of dialogue.

Many people cling to their own stereotypes and do not understand the ideas of others, and their self-righteous attitude will harm themselves. If husband and wife want to raise eyebrows, they must listen to the opinions of both parties, even if they cannot agree from the heart, they must respect each other's ideas, so as to open the door of communication between each other, which is what ordinary people call "everything is good to discuss".

Modern people think that "marriage is the graveyard of love", but love is the romance under the moon before the flower, and marriage is a short triviality in the parents, there is a connection between the two but there are also huge differences, to use a more mature mentality to look at the marriage events, take on their due responsibilities, so as to create a happy married life.

brief summary

"Three and a half years for a lifetime of husband and wife, ten years of husband and wife for nine years" was originally used to describe the ancient merchant family, but its husband and wife relationship of gathering less and leaving more, lack of communication, is applicable to ordinary people's homes in the world, and to this day, it still has a deeper meaning.

For the way of husband and wife, everyone yearns for a warm and beautiful relationship, but in real life, such an ideal needs to be operated with heart, assume the responsibility of the family, respect the other half, accompany and communicate more, in order to create a harmonious family atmosphere.