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1, Grandpa secretly took my hair to dna test, and when he came home, he heard my screams. When I entered the door, I saw my father beating me, and I quickly stopped it and asked why. Dad: "The rabbit cub saw that there was."

author:Make a selection of jokes

1, Grandpa secretly took my hair to dna test, and when he came home, he heard my screams. When I entered the door, I saw my father beating me, and I quickly stopped it and asked why. Dad: "The rabbit cub saw that someone was dead, the family was throwing paper money, and they thought it was green, so they ran to pick it up." Grandpa: "Then you won't hit the child?" Dad: "But, Dad, when I asked him why he picked it up, he said that after Grandpa died, he wouldn't buy it and just sprinkle it." "Daddy, Daddy, don't be impulsive and put down the knife first." ”?

2. The nephew who is in elementary school has always been at odds with him at the same table. Yesterday, the nephew came back from class and said to the sister-in-law: Mom, you give me a brother! My sister-in-law asked: Why do you suddenly want a younger brother? The nephew hesitated for a moment, and then said: I am at the same table, his mother gave birth to a younger brother for him, I am afraid that in the future, I will be unable to defeat his brothers with two fists! I go, how much hatred do you two have!

3. The company parachuted a female manager, who was heard to be the only daughter of the boss. I took a fancy to her family conditions, waited at the door of the company after work, and wanted to confess. When she came out, I smiled and took a large bouquet of roses from behind: "Dangdangdangdang!" Flowers to send beautiful women! The female manager looked at me, frowned, and took two steps back. When I saw it, I was stunned, and quickly took the flowers away and asked, "Are you allergic to flowers?" Female manager: "No, allergic to cow dung!" ”

4, Huahua has a buddy Pippi, Pippi's emotional intelligence is too low, so low that friends around him sympathize with him! On this day, Pippi sat on the lawn and chatted with his girlfriend, there was really no topic to talk about, and the girlfriend asked him to avoid embarrassment: Who is beautiful with me and that cloud? As a result, the brothers didn't even think about it, and said: One heaven, one earth. Angry that his girlfriend just broke up with Pippi!

5. Before graduating from high school, I followed my stepmother into a clothing store to buy a suit. Unexpectedly, I just pulled out my mobile phone in the store, and a little boy next to me slapped my mobile phone off. Then he immediately retracted into his mother's arms, and his mother said: He is still a child and does not understand things. After saying that, she didn't help me pick up the phone and apologize. So, without saying a word, I picked up the phone and slapped the back of the boy's head. He cried on the spot, and his mother was in a hurry. I retracted directly into my mother's arms, and my mother said: He is still a child, and he does not understand things!

6. When I was in junior high school, tattoos were popular in our town. At that time, it felt like tattoos were very windy, so I tattooed a wolf head on my back. Years have passed, my weight has soared from less than a hundred to fifteen, and the last thing I like to do now is to go bare in the summer. Because, my friends say that my tattooed wolf head has gone out of shape, and now it has become a husky!

7. I smiled and said to my daughter-in-law: I encountered something very interesting when I was in the car today. Daughter-in-law: What is so fun? Me: As soon as I got on the bus, the conductor shouted beware of thieves, but I was the only one who got on the bus, and the crowded car was so empty that I was empty! Daughter-in-law: Oh, come, you say, the cars on the way from your company are all unmanned tickets, where did you go today! Me: This...

8. The little uncle has a serious fox odor, and after being smelled by the leader, he was fired. After the little uncle cured the fox odor, he went to work in a factory. A few days after work, the little uncle found that as long as the group leader had a break at noon, he would take his mobile phone to play a game of fishing. That time, the little uncle couldn't help but ask: "This kind of game is outdated, how old are you, why are you still so obsessed?" The group leader pointed to his gold coins in the game and said, "You see how much money there is, tens of millions, how great it feels to make a lot of money and not have to hand it over to his wife..." ???"

9. The leader gave me two Chinese cigarettes, and I took them to the old man's house as a guest. As soon as I got to the door, I heard my mother-in-law scream and say, "Unfortunately, three of the pots I just made have fallen." At this moment, the voice of the wife's sister came: "Dirty, or throw it away." Mother-in-law: "No, don't waste it, just wipe it." "When I entered the house, it was time to eat, and a large plate of pots was placed in the middle of the table. My mother-in-law clipped three into my bowl, really enthusiastic.?

10. A sophomore at Oxford University, I have a very good female friend. That time I went to her house to play, and her parents were sitting around the TV watching the Western Heavens learn the scriptures. This cargo suddenly came the sentence: I called you a voice do you dare to agree?? Marry me if you don't dare to say yes. Her parents stopped watching TV and stared at us with gossip. I nodded, and she whispered, "Husband." Now, our children are eight years old.

11. I went to the obstetrics and gynecology department for internship, and the first time I entered the delivery room, a pregnant woman gave birth to a boy. The doctor asked me to go out and inform the family, and I ran out excitedly. I found the mother's husband and excitedly told him: Congratulations, you are a father, you are going to be a son! I reacted and was about to correct it, and the man said excitedly, "Haha, I'm going to be a son." The relatives next to the man were petrified on the spot...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #

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